


Kiss and Tell

by themayqueen



Series: Kiss and Tell [1]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, Being Walked In On, Best Friends, Brothers, Crushes, Derogatory Language, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fraternities & Sororities, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Geek Love, Lesbian Character, Library Sex, Love Triangles, Male-Female Friendship, Nerdiness, Resolved Sexual Tension, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:48:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 86,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7767331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themayqueen/pseuds/themayqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Georgina and Zac have been best friends since they were in preschool. During their sophomore year of college, Georgina finally admits--at least to herself--that she wants to be more than friends. Zac is oblivious to her feelings, but everyone else knows... including his older brother Taylor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ground Rules

"You're gonna drop it!"

That was Zac, his voice going up in pitch until it was almost a screech, as he scolded--

"I'm not gonna fucking drop it!"

\--his older brother Taylor, who had thankfully seen fit to take time out of his busy social schedule to help me move back into my dorm. Zac and I were both sophomores at Oklahoma State, while Taylor was a senior... again.

"All I'm saying is that I will laugh my ass off when you drop George's new tv and she kicks your ass," Zac said.

"I'd like to see her try," Taylor replied. I peeked my head into the living room to see Taylor barely navigating the couch, walking backwards as he was. He gave me a wink and added, "No, really, I would. Sounds sexy."

"Eww, don't talk about George like that!"

Zac had called me George for as long as I could remember, even though my name was actually Georgina. When we were little and played soccer together, I didn't mind the tomboy nickname. Now it was too late to get him to change, it seemed. Sometimes I thought that nickname was just a symptom of a larger problem--to Zac, I might as well have been just another dude.

Just as Zac and Taylor eased the tv box into the floor and began the process of setting it up, the suite door opened and my best friend Molly called out, "Lunch is here!"

Following behind her was our other roommate, Peyton, both of their arms loaded down with boxes of pizza, breadsticks and wings. The promise of food was half the reason the boys had agreed to help, I was sure. As soon as the pizza boxes hit the counter in our tiny suite kitchen, Zac jumped up and practically sprinted that way.

"Thanks for helping," I said as I handed him a freshly unpacked plate.

"You're welcome," he said. "I don't know how you managed to pack so much into that little Nissan. What do you need so much crap for anyway?"

"It's a girl thing," Taylor quipped, leaning against the wall.

"You would know," I replied, smirking as I handed him a plate.

"If you think I'm a girl," Taylor said, leaning down to smirk in my face, "then you really need some biology lessons. And I am just the guy to give them."

"Seriously, Tay!" Zac shouted around a mouthful of meat lovers pizza. "You're gonna make me barf, and if I do, I'm aiming for you."

"Georgie knows I'm kidding," Taylor said, plucking a few pieces of pizza out of the box and depositing them on his plate. He shot me a grin over his shoulder. "Right, Georgie? You know I'm just kidding."

"Sure, Tay," I replied, deciding it was just better to ignore him. Taylor was always a huge flirt, although he usually treated me like a younger sister. He only flirted with me because he knew how much it grossed Zac out.

"So," Zac said, leaning against the counter. "How much more do we have to carry in?"

"Umm, just a couple boxes of books, I think," I replied. "We can get those while you set the tv up."

"Good, then we'll be right here to meet your fourth roommate," Taylor said.

Last spring, Molly, Peyton and I had signed up for a four person suite. They were the best rooms offered to underclassmen, with a tiny kitchen and living room, a bedroom for each person and two bathrooms. After Peyton's disaster of a roommate last year, we were determined to all live together rather than just across the hall from each other. Unfortunately, we hadn't had a fourth person to ask to room with us, and the college had not seen fit to send us a letter telling us who they had picked. With all the activities going on for freshmen, we figured there was no point bothering the housing director about it, so we were left waiting for our new roommate to show up.

"I hope she's nice," Molly said, picking at a slice of pizza.

"I hope she's hot," Taylor replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, clearly we're going to have to set some ground rules here. Taylor is not allowed to sleep with any of the women who live in this suite."

"Including you, Georgie Girl?" He asked.

"Especially me," I replied.

Taylor held his hand over his heart as thought I had really hurt him, but everyone else was laughing. Once the laughter passed, the five of us went back to eating our pizza and discussing the upcoming semester. Taylor and his roommate were apparently already planning a big 'welcome back to school' party for their entire hall, but that didn't interest me. It didn't interest any of us, really; we were all more the nerdy, studious type than the cool, partying type like Taylor. Even Zac rarely went to parties, aside from occasionally the ones that Taylor threw. Other than a slight resemblance in looks, he and Taylor couldn't have been more different in personality, yet they were somehow still good friends.

Zac was my best friend, though. Molly was my best _girl_ friend, but Zac and I were even closer. We met in our youth soccer league and had been inseparable ever since, even during the years when boys and girls barely interacted at all except to awkwardly try to flirt. We might have been awkward, but we never flirted. Even though people always joked about us being a couple, we never were. We were just best friends. Simple as that.

Well, maybe not _quite_ that simple...

We were just polishing off the pizza and cleaning up our mess when the suite's door swung open once again. Every head turned to see who it was, since it was obvious it could only be the mysterious fourth roommate.

"Hello?" A syrupy sweet voice called out. "Anybody home?"

Seconds later, a tall, thin figure appeared in front of us. I recognized her from one of my gen ed classes–Bella Brown. She was a Texas pageant girl, with huge, perfectly curled hair and huge boobs. Said boobs were on display in her little tank top, and her cut off shorts showed plenty of leg, too. Other than what lay beneath her troweled on makeup, Bella left very, very little to the imagination, and judging by the looks on Zac and Taylor's faces, they were imagining it.

I cleared my throat. "Umm, hi. I guess you're our roommate."

"You're Georgia, right?" She asked.

"Georgina," I said.

"Right," Bella replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Well, which one of you boys is going to do my heavy lifting?"

"I saw her first," Taylor hissed after Bella had walked away before even waiting for one of them to answer.

"You can keep telling yourself that while _I'm_ carrying her stuff in," Zac said, scrambling to follow Bella into her room.

I glanced at Peyton and Molly, then at Zac and Taylor both scurrying down the short hallway to Bella's room, which was located right next to mine. I had a feeling this was going to be a very... eventful semester.

****

A few days later, since the first week of classes was a short one, we were relaxing during the first Friday afternoon of the semester. Even though he had a perfectly good television of his own, Zac insisted that my new flat screen was better, and so he had brought his xBox over and hooked it up, intent on gaming all night. I was happy just to veg out and re-read my newest book obsession, Divergent, to the sound of Zac killing zombie soldiers.

"Of course I'm going to the party!" Bella's voice rang out as she walked into the suite. I glanced up and saw that her phone was glued to her ear, because she was apparently too lazy to just walk down the hall or to the next dorm to actually talk to her friends. It seemed she was always calling or texting someone. "No, I know. It's going to be a really big deal. We _have_ to go."

Her mindless conversation continued in the same vein for several minutes as she shuffled around the kitchen. I couldn't focus on my book anymore, so I tossed it onto the coffee table and stretched out across the couch, spreading my legs across Zac's lap. He didn't even notice.

"Yeah, okay," Bella said, sipping on her sweet tea. "Yeah. I'll see you later. Oh, and you _have_ to let me borrow that pink dress for the party! Later."

Her conversation evidently finished, Bella flopped down onto the empty chair in the living room and eyed the television screen.

"What's this?" She asked. Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "Looks gross. So, are you guys going to that party tomorrow?"

"What party?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"You know, in Sitlington? I think your brother is hosting it, Zac."

The way she drawled his name caught Zac's attention and he quickly paused his game so he could look her way. "Oh, that party? I think Taylor did mention that."

"I'm sure he did, it's going to be _huge_ ," Bella said. "You should definitely go."

I could tell by the way her eyes were trained on him that she really didn't care if I went to the party. Her invitation was for Zac alone, and from what I could tell, he was hanging on her every word. I felt like I was going to hurl.

"Oh, you should come, too," Bella said, finally seeming to remember that I was in the room. "I'll help with your makeup."

"That won't really be..." I mumbled, trailing off as Bella steamrolled right over me.

"I can't believe you might not even go to your own brother's party," she said, turning back to Zac. "Not that I can even believe you two are brothers. But I'm sure you hear that all the time."

"Not really," Zac replied, even though I knew that he did and had even thought it myself. There was something about the way Bella said it, though, that I really, really didn't like.

She giggled. "Oh, you know. You two are just so... so _different_. Anyway, I'll let you get back to your little game."

I glared at Bella's back as she walked out of the room. Zac's eyes were on her, too, but I could tell he wasn't looking at her the same way that I was. That only made me angrier, but I couldn't express that anger to Zac. How could I explain that I was jealous of how he obviously ogled my roommate? Admitting that would mean admitting that my feelings for Zac weren't entirely friendly. That was something I was just nowhere near brave enough to do. Every time I considered it, all I could picture was Zac laughing in my face and reminding me that I was just one of the guys.

"Earth to George." Zac chuckled.

I glanced back at him and realized he was now looking at me. "Hmm? What did you say?"

"I was just saying that maybe we should go to Tay's party," he said.

“Why?” I asked. “Since when are you into beer pong and slutty sorority chicks?”

Zac chuckled. “I’m not, but I did promise Daniel I would get you to loosen up a little this semester.”

Daniel was my older brother. He was the same age as Zac’s oldest brother, Isaac, and had been friends with him before I ever met Zac. Daniel and I were as different as Zac and Taylor; even though we both played soccer as kids, that was where our similarities ended. He went to college on a soccer scholarship and now had a job coaching at one of the middle schools back in Tulsa. I, on the other hand, had only needed one season to realize I was a danger to myself and the rest of my team. Zac might have thought of me as just one of the guys, but I wasn’t good at being a tomboy… or being a girl, really. And Daniel just thought of me as his nerdy little sister who really, really needed to get a social life.

“I can loosen up just fine without your help and without Bella’s help,” I huffed, crossing my arms.

“Okay, okay,” Zac said. “I just thought it might be fun. If it’s not, we can leave. Promise.”

“You realize we’ll only be there for five minutes, right?”

“As long as I can tell Daniel you went,” Zac replied. “I don’t see what your problem with Bella is, though.”

“Of course you don’t,” I said.

“What?” He asked. “So she’s a little… talkative. And popular. You’re going to hold that against her?”

“Why not?” I shot back. “Girls like her always hold my lack of popularity against me.”

Zac gave me a gentle nudge. “Doesn’t make you any better than them if you judge them for it.”

“It’s not the same.” I pouted, scooting away from his touch.

Maybe he had a point, though. She might have been annoying, and annoyingly popular, but I supposed she couldn’t help that any more than I could help being the awkward bookworm that I was. Aside from the times when I was certain Bella was flirting with Zac, she really hadn’t done anything to earn my contempt. Somehow, though, I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be long before she did.


	2. Barbie's Dykey Little Sister

To my surprise, Molly and Peyton both agreed to go to Taylor's party. My ingenious plan to get out of going was to say I wouldn't go unless they did. Considering Molly's shyness and Peyton's rabid feminism, I was sure they would say no.

They both let me down, and so the next evening after dinner I found myself standing in front of my closet trying to find something acceptable to wear.

"I'm just wearing this," Peyton said, motioning to her standard uniform of jeans and t-shirt. She made it look good, though, thanks to her curly hair and the crochet beanie it was stuffed under. Taylor called her style lesbian chic, but I thought it was cute. Molly had put about the same amount of effort into her outfit and the messy pile of blonde hair somehow pinned up into a bun on top of her head, but she too looked cute. I, however, was a lost cause.

For a very brief moment, I contemplated taking Bella up on her offer of a makeover.

An obnoxiously cheerful knock came at the door, followed by, "Are we decent in here?"

"Yeah," I replied, glad Bella couldn't see my eye roll from the other side of the door.

"Are you girls ready to go?" She asked, pushing the door open and walking into my room completely uninvited.

I glanced down at my mismatched skirt and t-shirt, then back up at Bella. I thought that pretty much spoke for itself, especially compared to the skin tight, bubblegum pink dress she wore. Molly and Peyton looked equally unimpressed, though Molly at least tried to hide it. Sometimes I wondered if the three of us combined even had the social skills of _one_ normal person.

"Here, why don't I find you something to wear? I'm sure I have something in your size..." Bella said.

I tried not to look terrified as I imagined myself in some of her skimpy outfits. I was sure that wasn't what Daniel or Zac had in mind when it came to getting me to loosen up. Shaking my head,I replied, "you really don't have to."

"At least let me do something with your hair and makeup," she practically begged.

Because I was a pathetic pushover, I shrugged and said, "Okay, I guess."

Bella rushed out of the room, assuring us she would be right back with all the necessary implements to make me attractive. Okay, those weren't her exact words, but only because I was sure she didn't know any words that big. They were definitely still implied.

"Are you really going to let her do this?" Molly asked.

"Why not?" I replied as I exchanged my tee for a blue tank that I thought was the same shade as the robot pattern on my skirt. "Maybe if she makes me into her clone, Zac will actually notice me."

"Is that how you want him to see you? As just another Pageant Barbie?" Peyton asked.

"Better than Barbie's Dykey Little Sister," I shot back. "At this rate, I could dance naked in front of him and he still wouldn't notice that I was a chick."

"Well, if you drink any of Tay's hooch at this party, you might do just that," Molly said, giggling.

While she and Peyton were giggling at the mental image of that, Bella swooped back into the room, her arms loaded down with makeup and hair products. I wasn't completely clueless about makeup; I did in fact wear it. I just didn't wear what my lovely new roommate deemed an appropriate amount. She nudged me into my chair and dumped her bag of goodies onto my desk.

"So," she said, brandishing a giant makeup brush. "I can't believe you girls are friends with Taylor."

"Well, I've been friends with Zac forever, so he's how I met Taylor," I replied, choosing to ignore the obvious implication that we weren't cool enough to be friends with someone like Taylor Fucking Hanson. It certainly wasn't the first time we had heard that. Taylor might have been popular, but it was purely because he never met anyone he didn't immediately befriend. The boy had zero sense of boundaries.

"I didn't even realize he had a brother," Bella continued, now coming dangerously close to stabbing me in the eye with a mascara wand. "He's just nothing like Taylor, you know? Ooh, that green eyeliner looks so good with your red hair, Georgina!"

"Mhm," I replied with my teeth gritted.

It was nothing I hadn't heard from her before, and I still resented the implication. However, this time I noticed a hint of admiration for Taylor that I had been too jealous to pick up on before. Maybe it wasn't Zac she was after. Maybe it was Taylor. Maybe I had nothing to worry about.

Maybe Zac would never know how I felt about him anyway. Maybe it was all irrelevant.

By the time Bella finished my makeup, I was in such a bad mood that I didn't want to go to the party at all. I sat at my desk and brooded while she touched up Molly and Peyton's makeup. Every time I thought about my real feelings for Zac, it made me sick. We had been friends for so long that the idea of admitting I wanted to be more than that just seemed impossible. After everything we had been through together, surely I would have known if he had felt the same way. Since he hadn't ever said anything, I didn't see a reason to admit to my feelings, either.

"Okay!" Bella cheerfully announced. "I think we're all ready to go. I'm sure you girls will turn a lot more heads now. If you ever want any more makeup tips or to borrow any clothes, you just let me know. I'll see you at the party!"

Once Bella was out the door, Molly remarked, "She's exhausting, isn't she?"

"And a bitch," Peyton added.

"Well, I wasn't going to put it that way..." Molly said as she tied up her beaten up Chuck Taylors which I was pretty sure she'd had since we were high school freshmen.

"You should have," I replied. "The way she talks about Zac and Taylor makes me so mad."

"Especially the way she talks about Zac, I'm sure," Molly said, giggling.

I gave her a serious look. "If you so much as hint to her that I like Zac, I'll kill you."

"But it's okay if I tell her you're hopelessly in love with him?" She asked.

"I am not!" I screeched, then groaned. "Okay, whatever. The point is, she can't know I like him. If she's insufferable now, she'll be even worse then. It's bad enough that you two know."

"Everybody knows," Peyton replied. "At least, everyone but Zac. Although how he hasn't figured it out is beyond me."

I stuffed my phone into my purse and grabbed my keys. "He doesn't know because he would never think of me that way. He doesn't _want_ to know, and so I'm not going to tell him. And neither are you two."

I pointed at them both as threatening as I could manage, but I could tell that neither of them took me seriously. Even though they were my friends, they were highly amused by my feelings for Zac and the fact that Zac was still oblivious. Still, I trusted them both not to tell him. Bella, however, I did not trust, and that was why she had to remain even more oblivious than Zac.

Once I felt Molly and Peyton were sufficiently warned, we finished up our party prep and headed off to Taylor's dorm. He lived in the upperclassman apartments, Sitlington. Unlike our dorms, they were actually more like real apartments. All the students were older and drinking was allowed, so they were the prime location for parties. Although this one was centered around Taylor's place, the apartments weren't _that_ big, and the party would no doubt spread out over the entire first floor.

Through the door, we could already see that the party was raging. I only had to knock once before some upperclassman I didn't know opened it and let us in without a word. I didn't really know any of the hoards of people milling about in the hallway, and we had to elbow our way through the crowds to make it to Taylor's apartment. It was equally as full of people, but at least it didn't take long to spot Taylor in the kitchen, pouring cups of something I was sure had enough alcohol in it to incapacitate a small animal.

"Georgie, Molly, Peyton!" He called out, holding up a cup that sloshed all over the counter. "I've got drinks here with your names on them."

"And who are _these_ lovely ladies? Freshmen?" A guy I didn't recognize asked as he leered at me.

"Zac's friends," Taylor said. "Girls, this is Neil, my wonderful roommate. Avoid him at all costs."

"Are you telling me there's someone out there worse than you?" I asked.

"Define worse," Neil replied.

"Hey," Taylor said sternly. "Maybe you didn't notice the sign, but that one is Property of Zac Hanson."

I shot Taylor a death glare, but he only grinned. Even _Taylor_ knew how I felt about Zac. If he could see it, there was no reason for Zac to be clueless. I could only assume that Zac didn't _want_ to see the truth.

"Oh, lighten up," Taylor chuckle, pressing a solo cup into my hand. "Have a few drinks. Relax. Maybe a little liquid courage will help you finally seduce that boy."

I glared at Taylor again, but he remained unaffected. At least no one else in the room seemed to be paying attention to our conversation. Neil was definitely too far gone to process any of what was said, and had seemingly made Peyton his next target. That was too funny for me to even attempt to rescue her, so I simply accepted the cup Taylor offered me and took a large gulp of it. It was syrupy sweet, like fruit flavored candy, but not bad. Being friends with Taylor meant I had drank plenty of times, even though I wasn’t even twenty yet.

The most memorable of those times was probably the night of my junior prom, although unlike most teenagers, I didn’t get drunk at an after prom party. Zac and I had both decided to skip the prom, since we were too lame to get dates and I was too chickenshit to ask him to be my date. Instead of getting all dressed up and pretending we could dance, we played board games at his house all night. Taylor, who was home for the weekend, decided that was exceptionally lame, and gave us both our first drinks--vanilla vodka and Coke.

The next year we actually did go to the prom. Zac still wasn’t planning to go, but when my boyfriend James dumped me just two weeks before the big day, Zac stepped in. Even though there was no drinking that time and very little dancing, it was a perfect night.

Speaking of drinking and Zac…

“Where is Zac, anyway?” I asked softly.

"In my bedroom, being lame," Taylor replied, handing Molly a cup. "And you can tell him I said that. You can also tell him that Warcraft is not mood music, so he's gonna have to leave if I find a lucky lady tonight."

"Trust me, Tay," I said. "Any lady who ends up in your bed is not lucky."

"You say that now, but you'd be singing a different tune if that lady was you!" Taylor called out as I scurried out of the room to go find Zac.

Sure enough, he was sitting cross legged on Tay's bed, his laptop in front of him. There were a few beer cans in the floor, but I didn't think he was drunk.

"I thought you were supposed to be getting me to loosen up," I said, taking a few steps into the room.

“Thought so too,” he replied, pushing his laptop aside. “Forgot I had a raid planned for tonight. But you don’t wanna stay in here and watch that, do you?”

I sat down next to him and offered him a sip of my drink. “It’s better than watching the hordes out there, trust me.”

“Fine with me,” Zac said. As he passed the solo cup back to me, his eyes lingered on my face. His stare made me nervous. “What’s up with your face?”

“What?” I asked. When I realized what he meant, I scrunched up my nose in disgust. “Bella tried to give me a makeover. I’m lucky a little makeup is all she did.”

“I don’t like it,” Zac replied, making a face of his own. “I don’t want you to be her clone.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you and Bella were bffs now. What happened to me judging her too quickly?”

Zac shrugged. “I’m not saying you aren’t. She doesn’t have to be an enemy, but you don’t have to be just like her, either. It _is_ possible to coexist with people you have next to nothing in common with. I mean, look at me and Taylor.”

“I guess,” I replied, even though I did see his point about Taylor. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right, though. “So, is the raid over?”

“Nah, still waiting for it to start,” he said.

“Want some company for it?”

“Sure,” Zac replied, taking a sip from my drink, then laying back on the bed.

I laid beside him, perfectly content to stay there and let the party go on all around us. It was like junior prom all over again, except with the drunken masses a whole lot closer to us. Still, I liked it. I was glad that he didn’t seem to be all that persuaded by Bella’s… persuasiveness. Even though there was no chance of Zac and I being more than friends, at least we still had that.


	3. Try Delta

A few days later, the semester was in full swing. When I walked into the student union to get some lunch between classes, I was assaulted by the noise of all the clubs assembled to attempt to recruit new members. I had forgotten about Club Day, the day when everyone from the theatre nerds to the fraternities set up booths to promote themselves and harass every student who passed their way.

Club Day was my least favorite day of the semester.

I finally made it into the food court with only a few unwanted flyers in my hands, and I considered that a success. I quickly bought a burrito at Baja Fresh then glanced around to see if any of my friends were around. Zac, Molly, Peyton and Zac's roommate Elijah were crowded around a small table and as I approached they all scooted in to make room for me. The spot they cleared was right next to Zac, and I was sure that was no coincidence.

"Oh good, you survived," Zac said, scooting in to give me room.

"Yeah," I replied. "It was a little iffy when I got to all the sororities, but I think I came out unscathed. Anybody need a Tri Delta flyer?"

"I'd like to try a delta," Elijah remarked.

"Did someone switch your personality out with Taylor's?" Peyton asked. "That's disgusting."

"I think I saw Bella talking to the Tri Delts," Molly said. "You think she's going to rush? I mean, don't people usually do that freshmen year?"

"Who knows what Bella is going to do," I replied, trying not to sound as disgusted by the discussion of  
her as I felt.

Even though she still hadn't really done anything wrong, I didn't like her. She didn't spend much time in the suite, and definitely didn't acknowledge us outside of it. When she was there, she still tried way too hard to be friendly with us, especially if one of the guys was around. It didn't surprise me at all that she was talking to Delta Delta Delta during Club Day. They were well known for being the sluttiest fraternity on campus; the nickname Tri Delta came with the joke that those girls would try anything once. Peyton would have called me a bad feminist for insulting our roommate like that if I'd said it out loud, but I could just tell Bella would be right at home in their slutty ranks.

"Enough about the Greeks," I said. "Are we all still on for game night?"

It was Wednesday night, which was our traditional game night. It wasn't an old tradition; we had just started it the previous fall when we all became friends. We had all been into all sorts of geeky games for a while and played them from time to time, but the tradition of getting together on Wednesday nights for a specifically chosen game was fairly new.

"First game night of the semester," Zac said. "We better make it special."

"So, Lord of the Rings Risk?" I asked.

He gave me one of those huge grins that made my insides turn to mush. "You read my mind, George."

Trying not to blush as I turned back to the rest of the table, "That sound good to you guys? Our room, around seven, for Lord of the Rings Risk and Taco Bueno?"

"Actually," Molly piped up, "I think I'm probably going to a tutoring session. I know it's early in the semester, but this organic chem class is going to be a killer."

"Paging Dr. Molly," Zac chuckled. "Must be some class if you're skipping our first game night for it. There's gonna have to be a severe punishment for that."

I nodded soberly. "We'll have to take a vote on how to properly reprimand her for this offense."

"Oh, come on!" Molly whined. "If I'm gonna get into med school--"

"You have to get good grades," we all finished for her.

"Yes. I do." She glared at us, then shoved one last big bite of nachos into her mouth. "And that's why I have to run. I've got a lab all afternoon."

Molly was gone before we could tease her any more about how much she studied. It wasn't like the rest of us studied any less, but she was the only one with such huge goals. Once she was gone, the rest of us gradually finished our meals until only me and Zac remained at the table. I almost thought they had planned it that way, like the way they conveniently made space for me right next to Zac. Maybe I was being paranoid, though.

"Are you going to run off now too?" Zac asked.

"Nope," I replied. "I don't have class for two hours. I probably will go curl up somewhere and read, though."

"Nerd," Zac said.

"Geek," I replied, poking Zac in the face with a french fry from his own plate. He snapped his head toward it and attempted to bite the fry, but I pulled it away before he could. "Don't you have another class this afternoon too? Clinical psych?"

"Yeah, and can you believe we have a paper proposal due in there already? I need to stop by the library and print mine off before class, I guess."

"You guess?" I asked. "And I'm betting you wrote it while trying to level up your paladin or whatever."

"How did you know?" He asked, giving me a crooked grin.

"Because you always leave your homework until the last minute, and even when you don't, it's amazing any of your professors can make sense of it," I replied.

Zac gasped in mock horror. "You just aren't on my level of intelligence. My essays are fantastic."

"They might be," I replied. "It's hard to tell when your spelling makes them look like English is your second language."

"This is exactly why I keep you around," he said. "You edit my essays for me _and_ make sure my ego doesn't get too big."

"Glad to know I can be useful," I replied, hoping the grin on my face looked sincere.

Zac grinned back, so I supposed it did. There were so many other ways I wanted to be _useful_ to him, so many other reasons I wished he needed me. He made it pretty clear that he didn't, though. As we finished our lunch, I tried to hide my stupid disappointment that once again, Zac had shown that I was nothing more than a friend to him.

****

"Are we playing as alliances?" Zac asked around a bite of burrito, his words barely intelligible.

"We are," I replied. "Are we going to get guac all over the game board?"

"Possibly." Zac grinned, just as a glob of guac did indeed fall out of his burrito and onto his shirt.

"Attractive," I deadpanned, even though, as everyone but Zac knew, there was little Zac could do that I _wouldn't_ find attractive. It was pathetic, really.

While he shuffled off to the kitchen to find a napkin to clean up his mess, I slid into the floor in front of the coffee table that held the game board and began setting up all the pieces in their proper places. I was a little bit anal about having all the colors not just sorted together, but sorted by type, as well. Zac and I nearly always played as black and red, respectively, so I set up those two colors on my side of the board. Peyton and Elijah weren't as anal as me, so I just passed them the yellow and green pieces to set up as they wanted.

"Are we ready now?" Zac asked, flopping down into the floor next to me. There was still a big green stain on his shirt and a dab of what looked like sour cream on the corner of his mouth.

"Almost," I replied, reaching out to wipe the sour cream off with my finger.

It was an instinctive move, and I felt myself blushing after I did it. Not sure what else to do without making things even more awkward, I simply grinned sheepishly and wiped my finger off on his shirt.

"Oh, thanks," Zac said. "That goes really well with the guac, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I think you'll definitely start a new trend with that." I giggled.

"Okay, if you two can stop flirting, how about we get this game under way? I've got a ring to destroy," Elijah said, rattling the dice in his hand.

Flirting? Were Zac and I flirting? It didn't _feel_ like flirting, but it wasn't like I had a lot of experience with that sort of thing. I had a grand total of one boyfriend in high school, and that had happened more out of convenience than anything else. I didn't remember ever flirting with James; we were both part of the school literary magazine and at some point we just became more than friends. It never felt like what I had with Zac, though. Maybe I was flirting with Zac, but there was no way he was flirting back.

Was there?

As I waited for Elijah to take the first turn, I decided that he must have been teasing me. He wasn't serious. I might have been flirting with Zac, but there was no way Zac was flirting back.

The game went on, and as it did, I stopped worrying about whether or not Zac and I were flirting. It seemed like the moments when I could just relax around him and act like things were perfectly normal and perfectly friendly were getting fewer and fewer. College was making it harder, I supposed. Being in closer proximity to each other than we had ever been before made it harder to hide how I felt. It hadn't been nearly this bad in high school, not even when I first realized I was developing a crush on him. I hoped it would improve with time, but it only seemed to get worse. Nights like this, when I could relax, were the best.

The game went faster than regular Risk, so we made it through two rounds before it was even that late. By the time we started our third round, Zac was laying across my lap, a couch pillow the only thing between us and allowing me to keep from having a complete meltdown. We were just sorting out all the game pieces and cards when the door to the suite opened. I was hoping it would be Molly, but it wasn't. It was Bella.

"Oh, hey," Zac said, scrambling to crawl out of my lap.

"What's all this?" Bella asked, waving her hand in the general direction of us and our game.

"Game night," Zac replied. "Lord of the Rings Risk. Want to play? We could break the rules and let you be in our alliance."

She glanced back and forth between Zac and I. We were still pretty close together, even if he wasn't quite laying on me anymore. The way she glared made me nervous. I felt like I was being judged.

"Umm, no thanks," she said. "Dragons and elves aren't really my thing."

"There aren't any--" Zac began, but Bella had already walked away. "Dragons."

"Denied," Elijah remarked, chuckling.

Even Peyton laughed at that, and I couldn't help laughing along as well. Was Elijah right? Had Bella just shot Zac down after shamelessly flirting with him nearly every time he came to our suite? I couldn't tell when _I_ was flirting, but Bella was a lot more obvious, and I had been convinced that she wanted Zac even more than he seemed to want her. What could have changed tonight to make her walk away so quickly and give us such an angry look?

 

"Hey," Peyton said, shaking her hand in my face. "Middleearth to Georgina."

"Huh?" I replied, then shook my head. I realized she was holding the dice out to me and I accepted them, going through the motions of taking my turn while my brain was still spinning.

Bella hadn't been upset with Zac. She had been upset with both of us. The way she glared at us... could it have been because we were cuddled up like that when she walked in? Zac had moved quickly, almost like he felt guilty to let her see us like that. What was there to be guilty about? We weren't doing anything, but I supposed to a girl who was potentially interested in him... it could look bad.

Was it possible that Bella thought I was actually competition? It was so absurd I almost laughed out loud. Even if it was possible that Zac wanted me, it was even less possible that he–or any other guy in the world–would choose dorky little me over someone like Bella.


	4. Movie Nightmare

I was not a morning person. This was true in general of English majors, I had noticed, and it held true for those who–like me–had chosen to specialize in film studies. During our first session of Film and Literature, Dr. Marley had remarked that it was not her choice to hold class at nine thirty in the morning every Tuesday and Thursday, but that she was going to make it as pleasant for the class as possible. That meant we spent each class session on just a short lecture and then watched a movie based on a novel. It wasn't uncommon for students to come in with pillows, blankets and even breakfast.

None of that made me feel any better when I woke up with just twenty minutes to make it across campus before class started. To save time, I pulled on a pair of jeans I found in the floor but left on the Vlogbrothers t-shirt I had slept in. My hair was a giant poofy mess and my face was makeup free, but I didn't have time to deal with that. Dr. Marley was cool, but that was no reason to miss class or be late, especially when it was a class I enjoyed this much.

When I finally made it to class, I remembered the one reason why I didn't want to show up looking like such a mess. I shared this particular class with Bella. For reasons I couldn't understand, she was taking film studies classes, too. With her pageant girl looks, I would have figured she would prefer to be in front of the camera, not behind it. We had only shared a couple of classes the previous semester, and those were mostly gen ed classes, so I had hoped they were just a fluke. Now that we were getting into our major classes, I knew it wasn't just a coincidence.

Somehow, I made it to class only a few minutes late. Dr. Marley wasn't entirely punctual, especially that early, so she was still organizing her notes and beginning her lecture when I walked into the room. It was a fairly small class in a small room where we could all get comfortable for the movies. I still managed to find a seat as far away from Bella as I could manage, but I couldn't help noticing how perfect she looked even this early in the morning. My t-shirt and wrinkled jeans looked even worse compared to her perfectly matched outfit.

"Okay, guys," Dr. Marley said loudly to stop what little chatter there was at that point in the morning. "If you still have your syllabus, you know I'm going to give out the paper assignments today. I've already put the list of texts you'll be analyzing up on the screen behind me, and you can see that there are more of you than there are texts. For each text, there will be two students. The idea is that you're going to work somewhat together and somewhat independently. Each of you will turn in your own complete paper at the end, but through the planning and drafting process, I expect to see some collaboration. That way, you can split the cost of the book and movie, if they can't be rented, and watch them together. Two sets of eyes will notice more in the movie adaptations than one."

Sure enough, there was a list of movie and book titles on the board behind her. They covered nearly every genre, from The Bourne Identity to O Brother Where Art Thou. I could see quite a few that I wanted to do, since of course several of the books I was obsessed with had made the list.

"Here's the catch," Dr. Marley continued. "I'll be deciding who gets which text. That way I know there will be two people to each text. I think by this point I know most of you well enough to pick wisely."

Looking at the list again, I couldn't even decide which text I was hoping to be assigned. Nearly all of them were right up my alley. I wasn't nearly as worried about who else might be assigned the same movie. It wasn't like we would totally be working as partners, so it didn't seem like it really mattered who Dr. Marley picked. Still, I waited nervously as she went down the list and called out who would be working with who, writing their names beside the titles as she did so.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," she said. "That one will be... Georgina and Bella."

I should have been more nervous. I should have _known_.

For the rest of class, I felt like I was going to be sick. Even if it wasn't a traditional group project, we were still partners in a way. I still had to spend far more time with Bella than I wanted to, and that was saying a lot, considering the fact that we lived right next door to each other. I thought I already saw far more than enough of her.

When I really thought about it, though, I didn't actually see much of her at all. The semester had barely started, but it seemed that with every day that passed, Bella spent less and less time in our suite. I didn't know where she was going, and I didn't really care. I was just happy to have some time away from her, since every time she _was_ there, she kept weaseling into my conversations with Zac or trying yet again to give me a makeover or fashion tips or otherwise insinuate that I was ugly.

I brooded all the way through that day's movie. If I had been asked to discuss it, I wouldn't have even been able to say what it was, except that I thought it was based on something John Grisham wrote. Other than that, my thoughts were entirely occupied by the problem of Bella.

When class ended, it took me a moment to realize we had been dismissed. Once I did, I was quick to grab my notebooks, shove them in my bag and head for the door. I didn't want to stick around a moment longer than absolutely necessary.

"Georgina!" A voice called out, and because that was just my luck, it was Bella's.

I turned around, even though I didn't want to. "Yeah?"

"You've got that Harry Potter movie, don't you? Surely you do."

There was an implication there that I was sure was meant to be insulting, but it wasn't wrong. With a nod, I replied, "Yeah, I have the movie and the book."

"Oh, great," she said. "I'm sure you won't mind if I borrow the book? And we can have a little movie night instead of your game night, hmm? That would be more fun than a board game, at least. We'll have some popcorn, some drinks... Zac can come over, of course."

"Yeah," I squeaked out. "I guess... we can do that instead of game night this week."

I didn't bother pointing out that it was supposed to be homework, not a party. I wasn't sure that Bella really cared, and judging by the way she scrunched up her nose when she said Harry Potter, I had a feeling she wasn't really going to enjoy the movie anyway, if she even paid attention to it at all.

Bella clapped her hands together cheerfully--far, far too cheerfully for so early in the morning. "Great! I'll pick up some snacks and you can let everyone know we're doing movie night instead."

I gave her a painful smile, but that was the best I could manage. Watching a movie, especially one of my favorites, wouldn't have normally sounded bad at all. But all I could picture was Zac sandwiched in between me and Bella on the couch, and it made me feel sick. There was no way a movie night with her could turn out well for me. It sounded more like a movie night _mare_ than our typically relaxing Wednesday night plans.

Bella was quickly distracted by the sight of one of her friends, so our conversation ended then. I was glad, because I didn't think I could handle any more of her. Once she was gone, I made my way up the stairs to the first floor of the building. I didn't have class again until after lunch, so I figured I would go back to my room and get some work done for my other classes. As I walked down the arts building's hallway, I noticed a familiar figure slumped across a couch in the hallway. I would know those long legs anywhere. There was a hat pulled down so low across his forehead that at first I thought he was asleep, but as I approached, I saw his lips turn up in a smirk. I would have walked right on by, but he whistled at me.

"Looking good, Georgie Girl."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure I am, Tay."

"You always do, darling," he said, scooting up and pushing his hat back a bit to take a better look at me. "Okay, that may not be the best fashion statement, but my point still stands."

"Do you even have class in this building or do you just like to take your morning nap here?"

Taylor grinned. "Nah, but there are tons of hot underclasswomen roaming these halls. It's my early morning entertainment."

"Entertainment slash creeping," I remarked. "Do you have a conscience at all?"

He actually looked offended for a moment. "Of course I do! It's in a little silver box at the back of my closet screaming, 'Let me out, let me out! You're making bad choices!'”

“You have problems, Taylor. Serious problems.”

“That's what the doctors keep telling him,” another voice, which I recognized as Zac's said, as he appeared at my side. “That reminds me, Tay, how's that latest outbreak clearing up?”

“Why don't you ask Georgie?” Taylor replied. “Pretty sure she's the one who gave it to me.”

Zac and I both groaned, but I was used to Taylor's sexual jokes about me. Zac would never get used to them, it seemed.

“Anyway,” I said, then turned to face Zac. “Do you have my copy of Sorcerer's Stone?”

“Book or movie?”

“Movie,” I replied.

“Probably,” Zac said. “Do you need it back?”

“If you can dig it out of the disaster zone you call a dorm room, we're going to watch it tomorrow night. I finally got my paper assignment for Film and Lit.”

I decided to leave out the part where I shared that assignment with Bella, who would also be attending our movie night. I didn't want to give Zac more reason to unearth the DVD and return it to me. Even though he hadn't said anything else about being interested in Bella, I could just tell. Besides, what guy _wouldn't_ be interested in her?

“My room isn't that bad,” Zac said, frowning.

“Maybe not yet, but that's only because the semester just began,” I replied.

“Yeah,” Taylor agreed. “It's a good thing you never try to hook up with any chicks, because you'd probably lose them in the landfill that used to be your dorm room floor.”

I had a brief but wonderful mental image of Bella being lost into the depths of the mess in Zac's floor, never to be seen again. It was such an amusing thought that I nearly laughed out loud as I pictured her nails on a chalkboard voice screaming for help, gradually fading out into nothingness as she drowned in textbooks and dirty laundry.

“What's so funny?” Zac asked, poking me in the side. I supposed I hadn't done such a good job of hiding my laughter.

“The thought of you getting laid, probably,” Taylor said. “It is pretty funny trying to imagine what kind of girl would choose you over, say, someone like me.”

“Perhaps the kind of girl who doesn't want to die an untimely death due to syphilis,” I replied.

“Ouch,” Taylor said, holding his hand over his heart. “That hurts, Georgie. That really hurts. Especially after last night. I thought we had something special.”

I rolled my eyes at that, glancing at Zac to see his reaction. Thankfully, he was smiling. Sometimes I wondered if he thought Taylor's jokes about me were serious, especially considering how much he overreacted to some of Taylor's insinuations.

“Okay,” I said loudly. “On that note, I'm leaving. See you at lunch, Zac, and you have fun doing your creepy thing, Tay.”

“Oh, I will. Trust me, I will.” He grinned.

As I walked away, I was acutely aware of the feeling of Taylor's eyes on me.


	5. Pottheads

The next day and a half went by slowly, and I knew it was because I dreaded movie night. I kept trying to come up with some reason to cancel it, but I had nothing. After how seriously we had taken Molly's absence the week before, I knew there was no getting out of our Wednesday night plans, whether they were a movie or a game. Besides, it was something I had to do for class. Even if I didn't want to do it, I knew that I had no other choice. Classwork was, no matter how much it sucked, not optional.

Zac brought the DVD back to me during lunch, so I could see no way around having to watch it. I didn't even have the excuse that the movie was missing. With no other options available to me, I went back to the suite that night and broke out the new popcorn maker Molly had bought for us all to share. Harry Potter was a big deal to us, so I was going to do the best I could to make this an enjoyable night, even if Bella did have to be there. Just as I began pouring the popcorn out into a huge bowl, there was a knock on the door. It wasn't locked, so whoever had knocked opened it shortly after.

“Pizza delivery!” Taylor called out. “If you don't have any cash to pay, I'm sure we can work something out, if ya know what I mean.”

“Well, there goes my appetite,” I replied, sticking my finger in my mouth as if to gag myself.

“Mine too,” Zac said, following behind Taylor with a few more boxes of pizza in his arms.

“Just put them on the coffee table,” I said, picking up the bowl of popcorn and walking to the living room with it.

While we got things situated on the coffee table, Bella's door opened and she walked out into the common area. She paused in her steps when she realized who was with me. “Oh, I didn't realize _you_ were coming, too, Taylor.”

He shrugged. “Didn't have any better plans.”

“I just didn't think you would be into something so nerdy,” she replied, delicately sitting down in the chair and propping her feet up. I noticed then that she had a nail file and polish with her. I should have figured she wasn't going to pay much attention to the movie.

“Who isn't into Harry Potter?” Taylor asked, flopping down on the couch.

Bella giggled, as though Taylor had said something hilarious. “Well, I've never seen the movies or read the books, so I guess it's a good thing I'm surrounded by geeks.”

We all chose to ignore the geek comments, and before Bella could say something else offensive, the suite door opened and Peyton walked in.

“You guys haven't started without me, have you?” She asked.

“Nope,” I replied. “But we're still missing Molly and Elijah.”

“Elijah should be here soon,” Zac said. “He was just getting in the shower when we left to pick up the pizzas. Doesn't Molly have her TA thing again?”

I frowned. “Does she? Are we going to have to move this to another night? No more Wednesdays?”

“Maybe,” Zac said. “But right now, all I care about is that pizza. I am starving.”

I chuckled. “Okay, okay. Let's go ahead and start eating. By the time we get through the previews and a couple slices, maybe Elijah will be here.”

Sure enough, as soon as I went to the kitchen to get some paper plates, the door was flung open again and Elijah walked in.

“Alright, Pottheads! Let's do this thing,” he said.

“Pottheads?” Bella asked.

“Like, with two t's?” I replied, sheepishly. “Harry Pottheads. It's a thing, I guess.”

“Oh,” she replied, giggling very fakely. “Cute.”

I cleared my throat and looked away from her, not wanting to draw any more attention to how geeky I was. “Okay, so let's go ahead and start the movie, since I guess everyone who is gonna be here is here.”

Everyone settled into seats around the living room as I switched on the television and started the movie. By the time I had done that, there was just one spot left–right between Zac and Taylor on the couch. Somehow, I had a feeling they had all arranged it that way. I didn't really mind, even though sitting next to Taylor wasn't my idea of fun. But the opportunity to be close to Zac without it seeming like I had planned it that way was one I always appreciated. Sometimes I worried that I was so obvious about my crush, but every time he said something that implied I was just one of the guys, I knew I wasn't.

Once the movie was underway, I didn't think any more about my crush. I lost myself in the movie and just enjoyed it. After I finished my pizza, I curled up closer to Zac, hoping he wouldn't mind. He gave me a quick glance, which I pretended not to notice. When I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder, I tensed up and I hoped and prayed Zac didn't interpret that as a bad thing. What if he thought I didn't want him to touch me? And why _was_ he touching me?

“Cold?” He asked, his voice low. I could feel his breath tickling my ear as he leaned down to whisper to me.

“A little bit,” I replied.

“Here,” Zac said, stretching his arm out and grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch. He spread it out over our bodies and tucked it in around us. “Is that better?”

I nodded. It was better. So, so much better. With his arm back around my shoulder and our bodies under the blanket, I had no excuse not to cuddle up next to him. It wasn't the first time we had cuddled; in fact, we had a tendency to be physically closer than most friends. I didn't think it really meant anything, though, at least not to Zac. What it meant to me was a different story entirely.

As Zac and I cuddled, I could feel eyes on us. At first it was just Taylor, who gave me a wink and a slight nudge–thankfully not enough of a nudge for Zac to notice. Then it was Peyton and Elijah, smirking up at me from their seats on the floor. Then it was the pair of eyes I really didn't want to notice us. Bella. She glanced up from painting her toenails, the brush still suspended in the air, and shot me the briefest of scowls. I almost didn't believe my eyes. Was I imagining it? A second later, she composed herself and spoke.

“You know, we could make this really fun if we did pedicures too,” Bella said. “What color do you girls want?”

Peyton just made a face, leaving me to reply, “I don't really wanna... let's just watch the movie, okay?”

“Have it your way,” Bella replied with a snotty little shrug. “I just thought we could keep going with that little makeover I gave you the other day. Wasn't that fun?”

No. No, it wasn't. I didn't want to be that mean to her, though. There was no point in pissing her off even more than it seemed I already had. I nodded toward the tv screen and said, “Can we just focus on the movie? We have to watch this for class, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bella replied dismissively waving her hand. “I'm sure we'll have to rewatch it a bunch of times before we finish this project anyway. No big deal.”

It was a big deal, though, and I hoped that Zac could see how impossible Bella was being. I didn't understand how he could defend her. Even if she was pretty, her personality clearly left a lot to be desired. Couldn't he see that? As Bella finally went back to painting her nails, Zac gave my shoulders a little squeeze. I glanced at him and he gave me a tiny little smile. Maybe he did understand. Maybe he did finally see Bella the way that I saw her.

When I was just beginning to think she couldn't get any worse, Bella picked up her phone and began texting. She wasn't even paying attention to the movie anymore. I couldn't have even begun to guess who she was texting, but her phone seemed to be constantly beeping to alert her to a new one, and she typed her replies with lightening speed. I couldn't help noticing that she kept looking over at me and Zac the whole time. Even though it still seemed ridiculous, I wondered yet again if she was actually jealous of our friendship, a friendship that it seemed she might be interpreting as something more than that.

She continued texting during the rest of the movie, and finally, when the trio had started to play the giant game of wizard chess, the door opened and Molly walked in. At least that gave me a distraction from Bella, even if Molly had missed nearly the entire movie.

“Look who finally decided to join us,” Taylor remarked. “I saved you a spot right here.”

He patted his lap as he sad it, and Molly looked absolutely mortified. I knew the feeling. I wasn't the only target of his shameless flirtation, even though it never seemed to bother Zac when Taylor flirted with anyone else.

“I think I'll pass,” Molly replied. “But I will take a slice of pizza, if there's any left. I know how you guys are.”

“We might have a few slices,” Taylor said, opening a box and passing it to Molly, an evil smirk on his face. “How do you feel about extra meat?”

“When you offer it to me? It makes me consider becoming a vegetarian.”

“I suppose I could have a slice now that my nails are dry,” Bella piped up.

Taylor passed the pizza box to her and she gave him a sickeningly flirtatious smile. It was obvious that she got his implications and was throwing them right back at him. I just couldn't understand her at all. Did she want Zac or Taylor? Or both? She could have Taylor; I really didn't care. But Zac was--

Who was I kidding? He wasn't mine. If Bella wanted Zac, she could have him, too. He might have been cuddling with me, but that didn't mean he wasn't staring at her in a way that made my body feel like it was on fire.

“Can we rewind a little bit and rewatch the last part since Molly walked in?” Peyton asked. “Sorry, I know we've all–well, almost all–seen it before, but I'd like to see the ending without anybody talking over it.”

Everyone agreed and I grudgingly pressed rewind and found the spot where we had been before Molly finally joined us. I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't argue with the rest of them. All I wanted right then was to be anywhere but sandwiched in between the two boys Bella seemed to be trying to seduce.


	6. Swarm of Sororstitutes

After our disaster of a movie night, I decided that I was just going to have to do the project by myself. Dr. Marley had made it pretty clear that it wasn't a traditional group project, anyway. We both had to turn in separate outlines and essays, so I didn't see why I had to actually work _with_ Bella. I was sure working with her wouldn't help me earn a higher grade, anyway.

Over the weekend, I drove back to Tulsa and picked up my copy of the Sorcerer's Stone, since I actually hadn't brought it to school with me. I brought a lot of books that weren't for my classes, but for whatever reason, I had decided to leave my Harry Potter books at home. After that quick trip home to pick it up, I decided to dive right into reading it the next week. I had read it so many times that I wasn't sure I even needed to do it again, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to flip through it and take a few notes. I doubted it would take me more than one evening to do that.

I had really hoped to see Zac after spending the weekend away from him, but he apparently had a huge lab report due, so instead I found myself spending Monday night tucked into my bed rereading the first Harry Potter book for what was probably the twentieth time. Okay, that might have been a slightly exaggeration, but not by much.

After reading the books that many times, I knew Harry Potter inside and out. Even though I looked more like a Weasley, Hermione had always been my favorite character. Molly used to tease me about how I thought of Zac and I like Ron and Hermione, but the big difference there—aside from hair color—was that Zac and I clearly weren't together. Still, Ron and Hermione were my favorites and during the worst of my teenage crush, I did like to pretend Zac and I would someday turn out like them. That someday Zac would wake up and admit what he felt for me. I could have done without him pursuing Lavender–or in this case, Bella–first, though.

In my fantasy, I wasn't sure exactly who Taylor would be. Although I supposed it wasn't really a fantasy if Taylor was there. He certainly wasn't Harry. More like Draco, really.

When my brain started casting all of my friends as Harry Potter characters, I knew it was getting too late. My brain got silly late at night, and I wasn't even focusing on reading the book anymore–although, again, it wasn't like I really needed to. On the other hand, I had stopped taking notes, so I definitely wasn't accomplishing anything. I set my book and notebook aside and decided just to go to bed. I was so tired that only minutes after turning off the light and slipping under the covers, I was asleep.

 

_I was running up a seemingly endless staircase. At first I thought I was running from someone or something, but then I heard a voice. I would know that voice anywhere. I was running toward him. The guy I always felt like I was running to but never reaching._

_As I climbed higher and higher, the stairs curved and shifted, just like the stairs in Hogwarts. I could still hear Zac's voice calling out to me, but every time I thought I was getting closer to him, the stairs shifted again and his voice drifted away. Finally, when I could run no more, I sat down on the stairs. They heaved another groan and shifted again, and I waited to see if I would move further away from Zac's voice. I didn't._

_A door appeared in front of me and I waited to see if I would be moved away from it. When I wasn't, I cautiously opened the door, hoping that none of Hogwarts' terrors lay behind it. A dark, lusciously decorated bedroom was revealed, and laying in the middle of the four poster bed was Zac._

_“You're finally here,” he said softly._

_“I've been here all along,” I replied._

_Zac gave me a thoughtful look. “Maybe I just noticed.”_

_He beckoned me to come closer and I wasted no time obeying. Surprising myself with my lack of shame, I crawled onto the bed and up Zac's body, coming to rest on his lap. He was soft and warm beneath me, but a solid, strong presence. When he reached out to touch my arm, his hand felt like it was on fire and branding my skin. He trailed his hand up my arm, then my shoulder, finally bringing it to rest on my cheek._

_“Georgie,” he whispered._

_“What?” I asked, but he didn't answer._

_He moved his hand around to the back of my neck and pulled me down. Our lips met and it was nothing like the few kisses we had shared as young teenagers experimenting. His tongue parted my lips, somewhat forcefully, probing the inside of my mouth like he was trying to get to know every inch of it. His hands roamed my body in the same way, pulling my clothing off and running over each inch of flesh exposed to him._

_I grew bold and reached for Zac's shirt, grabbing the hem of it and pulling it over his head. I had seen his naked chest a thousand times before, but never like this. Zac lifted me up slightly to help me remove his pants, leaving him in nothing but his underwear. I let my hair fall over my face so that I couldn't see his reaction as I shed my underwear._

_“Look at me,” he commanded, but his voice was still gentle and soothing._

_When I did, he was naked as well, and there was no doubt left as to whether or not he wanted me. He placed his big, strong hands on my thighs and pulled me back into his lap. With my legs spread to wrap around his, I could feel his dick pressing against me. The feeling made me jump a little, but Zac held me in place, not allowing me to move from my position._

_He kissed my neck to distract me as he pulled me closer and closer, his dick pressing harder and harder against me until finally I felt it slip inside. It stung, but I bit my lip to give myself something else to focus on. The pain only lasted a second, soon replaced by nothing but pure ecstasy._

_“Oh, Georgie,” he moaned, his hands still gripping my hips tightly and setting a pace for me._

_I wanted to say something in reply to that, but I couldn't form any words at all. I gripped his shoulders for some sort of leverage and tried to roll my hips to imitate Zac's movements. I could feel nothing but his fingernails digging into my skin and the burning heat of him inside of me. It was almost unbearable. My eyes clamped shut on their own, even though I wanted to watch him. I wanted to see this and know it was real. When I felt my orgasm coming on, I forced myself to open my eyes, but what I saw wasn't Zac._

_It was Taylor._

_He smirked, and my stomach turned at the sight of him. I was too far gone, though, and he was holding me in place, slamming my body down against his. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled over me, and I was powerless to stop it. Taylor threw his head back, his hair deceptively halo-like against the headboard, and I felt him shudder. I wanted to pull away from him and run and I wanted to stay right there and watch Taylor orgasm. I wanted Zac. I wanted Taylor. I wanted--_

 

“Wake up, bitches!”

The sound of unfamiliar voices and fists pounding on the door jolted me awake. I was coated sweat, no doubt because of my hot and disturbing dream. As the voices continued to scream outside our door, I glanced at my clock. None of this, least of all the dream, made any sense. It was two in the morning. I barely even remembered setting my book aside and going to bed.

Finally, it dawned on me that I should probably open the door. Even though I was sure I looked like hell and I didn't want anyone to see me like that, it was really the least of my concern while my head was still spinning from that dream. With shaky legs, I pulled myself out of bed and padded off toward the front door to our suite.

Molly and Peyton were both emerging from their rooms, looking equally as sleepy and confused as I felt. The pounding on the door continued, and I finally realized that the high pitched voices were now chanting the same word over and over.

_Delta. Delta. Delta._

Against my better judgment, I unlocked the door and stepped back. A swarm of nearly identical girls in hot pink matching t-shirts bearing the Tri Delta logo invaded the apartment, still chanting their annoying little chant.

“Where's Bella Brown?” One of them asked, wielding a huge plastic tiara and feather boa.

Wordlessly, I pointed toward Bella's bedroom, which she had finally emerged from. I was beginning to think that girl could sleep through the apocalypse. Yet she somehow looked perfect even then, in her pink silk pajamas with not a single hair out of place.

“Congratulations!” One of the girls said as the tiara was placed on Bella's head. “You're officially a Delta Delta Delta pledge!”

Bella clapped and squealed, looking to the three of us as though she thought we might share in her enthusiasm. We just stared back at her. She didn't seem deterred at all, still smiling and giggling as she was swept up in the sea of sorority girls. With Bella in tow, they finally left, slamming the door behind them without so much as a goodbye.

“Did you girls just see a swarm of sorostitutes in here or am I sleepwalking again?” Peyton asked.

I snatched a pink feather between my fingers as it floated through the air. “No, you were definitely not imagining things. Unfortunately.”

“On the bright side,” Molly said, “it might get Bella out of our hair.”

Somehow, I had a feeling we weren't going to be that lucky.


	7. Sorority Barbie

“Are we _ever_ going to have the whole group here for a game night?” I asked, not even ashamed that my voice was a full on whine.

It was our third game night of the semester, a little over a month into the year, and we still hadn't had a night that everyone could attend. Taylor wasn't there, but that was nothing new. He only joined us when the games interested him and he didn't already have plans; he was, after all, far more popular than any of the rest of us. Molly's TA sessions weren't always on Wednesdays, so we couldn't just reschedule game night. At least she had made it to this one, but this time, Zac wasn't there. He had been complaining about his huge research project for clinical psych all week, the one which I'd helped with the proposal for, so I knew he was busy. It still bothered me that he couldn't take a break from it to play Fluxx with the rest of us, but there was nothing I could do about it. The more I whined about wanting him to be there, the more pathetic I looked.

Since he _wasn't_ there, though, I felt no need to hide my whining.

“Maybe after midterms,” Molly suggested. “At least I hope I won't be as busy then... until finals.”

“Tell me about it,” Elijah said. “I don't think I've seen Zac since last week, except for passing him on the way to the library.”

“I feel like it's been even longer than that since I've seen him,” I said, unable to stop myself from pouting.

Everyone laughed, but I didn't see what was so funny. I supposed they were just mocking me for my crush yet again. Peyton gave me a little shove and said, “Aww, poor baby. You should let your boyfriend know you miss him.”

“He's not my—”

“Yeah,” Peyton cut me off. “We know. You think you would make it two seconds with him before you were running off to let us all you two were finally together?”

“Probably not,” I admitted. “And I _know_ you all get sick hearing about him.”

“Not as sick as we get of you making puppy dog eyes at him all the time,” Elijah replied. “And the way he looks at you is almost as bad.”

Was he serious? There was just no way he could be serious. Zac didn't look at me like anything special. For a moment, I just gaped at Elijah, waiting for him to admit he had been joking and that there was no way Zac felt anything remotely resembling what I felt for him. When Elijah didn't say anything and just continued to take his turn at the game, I said, “You're kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he replied. “You can't tell me the rest of you guys don't see it. Are we really all just acting like we don't see how in love with each other Zac and Georgina are?”

I glanced at everyone, and they all just shrugged or sported blank looks. That wasn't helpful at all. “Seriously, you guys?”

“I dunno,” Molly said. “He looks at you the same way he's always looked at you. I never thought about it.”

“I think you guys are fucking with me,” I said. “If Zac looks at me any different than he does the rest of us, it's because he's trying to figure out why one of his guy friends has boobs. That is, if he's even noticed I _have_ boobs.”

“He might, if you did,” Peyton teased. We had made a pact that if it were ever medically possible, she would give me a cup size off her ample chest to add to mine, which filled out a B cup on a good day. A very, very good day.

Once again, everyone laughed at my expense, something I was all too accustomed to. At least Zac wasn't around to hear them joking about my chest; although if he were, I supposed we wouldn't have been talking about the way he may or may not have looked at me. The other person I didn't want present for such a conversation was Bella, so of course the door opened and she walked in while everyone was still chuckling.

“What are we playing tonight?” Bella asked, and I was pretty sure I could detect a huge hint of sarcasm in her question.

“Fluxx,” Molly answered perkily. “It's a card game with all these changing rules and combos and stuff.”

“Sounds complicated,” Bella replied, flopping down in the one chair we weren't using.

She had her silly pledge badge pinned to her shirt, proclaiming to the world that she was on her way to becoming a Tri Delt. As stupid as I thought the whole Greek system was, I really hoped that Bella would be accepted. If she was, she would move into their sorority house and out of our suite. Even if they found a new girl to move in, I couldn't imagine they could do much worse than Bella. Then again, there was that slob Peyton had to room with freshmen year...

“So,” Bella said, and I wondered if I had tuned her out, since she seemed to be in the middle of a thought. I paused, my cards in the air, while I waited for her to finish her thought. “There's this huge party at the Tri Delta house this weekend.”

We all stared at her, waiting for her to say something that actually mattered to us. I wasn't sure that Bella really understood that we had different priorities from her, and sorority parties were just not on our radar. Well, that wan't entirely true. We all valued popularity in differing amounts. While I didn't have any desire to be like Bella, I liked to imagine a world where I could still be me and that wasn't a reason for me to be unpopular and ostracized. What made a vapid, future skin cancer patient like Bella more worthy of popularity than me? I didn't understand it and I didn't like it.

“Anyway,” she said, heaving a huge sigh, as though what she was about to say pained her dearly. “They have this thing where all the pledges have to bring as many people to the party as they can, and we get points for each person. I've got plenty, so it's no big deal if you guys don't want to go, but... a few extra points won't hurt.”

It was amazing how Bella could say words that seemed harmless yet still offend me. She clearly didn't actually _want_ us to go to the party. If we did, she would have to claim us as her friends, and I was sure she didn't want to do that under any circumstances. All she wanted was to get the most points and get into the sorority.

Luckily for her, we all wanted her to get into the sorority too, because the sooner she did, the sooner she was out of our suite.

“Sure,” I said, surprising even myself with how cheerful I sounded. “I'll go. I dunno about everyone else.”

They all murmured vague promises to go that didn't sound that cheerful, but Bella hardly noticed. She gave her trademark little clap and squealed. “Great! And Georgina, you'll _have_ to let me dress you this time. You've got to look good for a Tri Delta party.”

With that, Bella scampered off to her bedroom. I couldn't help wondering why I had been singled out. Bella didn't seem to care so much about giving the other girls makeovers, but she was always making those little comments about my appearance. Just what was it about my looks that bothered her so much? I knew I was nothing special to look at, and pretty awkward thanks to the red hair, but I didn't think I was as much of a disaster as Bella kept implying. Yet the more she implied it, the more I found myself wondering if she might have a point.

Thanks to Bella, I was in a bad mood for the rest of the game of Fluxx and I decided to call it a night early while everyone else was still hanging out and talking. After brushing my teeth and changing into my pajamas, I decide to chance giving Zac a call before I went to bed. I hadn't seen him since that morning and I didn't like it. I hated going even hours without seeing him, and I didn't care how pathetic that was. Even on the days when we didn't see each other, which were rare, we texted and called.

Settling into my bed and pulling up the covers, I found Zac's number in my contacts and pressed call. He was always near the top of my recent calls, whether because I had called him or because he had called me, but it seemed like recently those calls were becoming less and less common. The phone rang a few times before he finally answered.

“Hey, George.”

That nickname again. Always that nickname. I didn't mind it so much when we were younger and I was a tomboy, but now... I sighed. “Hey, Zac.”

“What's up? You're lucky you caught me. I think I passed out on my keyboard for a second there. But this lab report is done, finally.”

“So that's why you ditched us, huh? For homework?” I teased.

He chuckled. “Yeah, something like that. So why aren't you partying it up?”

“Not much of a party,” I replied. “We were just playing Fluxx, but I got sleepy.”

It wasn't entirely a lie but it was close enough. I had this strange feeling that Zac hadn't really been as busy as he implied, anyway. I tried to brush that feeling off. Why would he skip game night unless he had a good reason? And what reason could he have besides homework?

“Anyway, Sorority Barbie came in and kinda ruined the night for me,” I continued.

I could have sworn Zac's eye roll was audible. “What she did do this time?”

“She didn't really _do_ anything; it's just that she wants us all to go to this party so she can get points or whatever,” I said. I decided not to mention the part about her offering me a makeover yet again, because I knew Zac wouldn't understand that. He would probably try to make excuses for her, too.

“Oh, are you going to go?” He asked. “I think I probably will.”

“Seriously? Wait, did Bella invite you too?” A huge pang of jealousy stabbed me in the chest. When did Bella talk to Zac? Why would he go to the party just because she asked? Sure, he thought she was hot, but couldn't he also see how awful she was?

“I ran into her earlier today and she mentioned it,” he said. Something about his answer seemed very, very vague and I didn't like it.

“Well, I guess I'll see you there,” I replied, pouting, but hopefully not so much that he could hear it in my voice.

“We can all go together,” he said. “I mean, if you guys are going to go. I know Tay is.”

Of course Taylor was, I wanted to say. If Taylor hadn't already gotten into Bella's pants, I was sure it was just a matter of time. If Taylor wanted a girl, he usually got her, and Bella didn't exactly seem hard to get.

“Yeah, I guess,” I replied with a sigh. “I mean, since I know you're going, at least I'll know somebody there besides Bella. And I guess everyone else is gonna go, too. Anything to help get Bella out of here.”

Zac chuckled a little at that, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it. “Well, now that that's decided, I'm going to go print this lab report out and then get some sleep. Hopefully I'll actually wake up in time to turn in it tomorrow.”

“Good luck,” I replied. “I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, right?” I knew I sounded needy, but I couldn't stop myself.

“Yeah,” he said. “See ya tomorrow, George. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I said softly, then ended the call.

I set my phone on the windowsill next to my bed after making sure my alarm was set. As I rolled over and tried to fall asleep, I couldn't help feeling like something was very different about that phone call. Something was different about Zac and our friendship, and I din't know what.


	8. Frat Rats

Just a few days later, it was the weekend and time for the stupid Tri Delta party. In that time, I hadn't managed to come up with a good reason not to go to the party, and so on Saturday night, I found myself in my dorm room trying to make myself presentable.

I hated to admit it, but all of Bella's little comments about my looks and fashion sense were really starting to get under my skin. Yesterday, she had offered to take me to her hair stylist. It was such an offhand comment that I didn't even know what to make of it. What was wrong with my hair? As I stood in front of the mirror, I picked up a limp strand and stared it down. It was just hair. Just like the rest of me, it just _was_ ; there was nothing special about it.

Peyton had tried to assure me that Bella's comments came from a place of jealousy. But what did she have to be jealous of? My friendship with Zac? It was just a friendship. There was nothing there for Bella to be jealous of, especially not with the way Zac looked at her sometimes.

Finally, I tired of staring at myself. It didn't matter how long I stared; I wasn't getting any prettier. I turned away from the mirror and sent Zac a quick text to let him know that I was ready for the party. He texted back that he was on his way, and sure enough, only seconds later there was a knock at the door. It was crazy that we didn't see each other more often considering how close he lived, just a floor away.

I didn't want to think about all of that, though. I didn't think there was any way I would possibly enjoy this party, but there was no reason for me to be in a bad mood for it. As silly as it sounds, that bad mood was gone the second I saw Zac, anyway. He wasn't any more dressed up than usual, in just a t-shirt and jeans with his hair as messy as ever, but it didn't matter. He still gave me those stupid butterflies in my stomach.

“Come on, George,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Let's go get this party started.”

Did he have any clue what he did to me? I doubted it. If he did, he would probably never touch me again. It just wasn't fair to keep giving me these little, meaningless touches that made me feel like I was going to die. He couldn't possibly know what an arm around my shoulder did to me.

Cuddled up against Zac like that, the walk across campus to the Greek neighborhood didn't seem far at all. As we approached South Garfield, where the Tri Delta house was located, it was clear that parties were already raging at nearly every fraternity and sorority house. I had to wonder how strange all of us—Zac, myself, Elijah, Peyton and Molly—must have looked walking into the fray. This was a part of town, just a street off campus, that none of us ever really ventured into and I think it was pretty obvious we didn't belong there.

Then again, no one at the party seemed to notice. We were admitted into the house by a girl with bleach blonde hair and a huge Tri Delta badge on her shirt, who put our names down on a list that I assumed would help them assign points to the pledges. Once we were inside, someone else rushed up with a tray of jello shots and offered one to each of us. None of us were heavy drinkers, but we all took the shots like champs anyway.

“It's not so bad is it?” Zac asked as he steered me toward the bar to get drinks for both of us. I didn't really want a full drink so soon, but Zac was too stubborn to refuse.

I shrugged. There were tons of people in the house, dancing and drinking, but we seemed to be flying under their radar. As long as we could just do our own thing, I supposed it wasn't too bad. After taking a sip of the punch Zac had poured for me, I replied, “I guess it's okay. We don't have to stick around for long, do we?”

“Just finish your drink, then we'll talk about leaving,” Zac replied. “You girls think you'll be okay without me for a bit? I see some of the guys from my floor; I'm gonna go say hi.”

We all nodded and assured him we were fine, even though I wasn't sure that I was. I knew that he played WoW with a bunch of guys on his floor, though, so I couldn't get too mad if he had other friends and wanted to go hang out with them. I was sure he would eventually come back to me.

It wasn't long, though, before Molly wandered off, practically vanishing into thin air. Gradually, the whole group seemed to disperse around the party, leaving me all alone. I couldn't hang out by the bar, because it was a busy place and people kept shoving me aside. With nothing else to do, I poured myself another drink and started walking around the party, hoping I would spot someone I knew... preferably Zac.

Because it was so crowded, I ended up wandering down a hallway just to get away from some of the crowd. It seemed to run the width of the house, just behind the kitchen where a lot of people were congregating, since that's where most of the drinks were being handed out. On this side of the wall, though, there was less crowd and noise.

“Hey, sexy,” some voice I didn't know slurred. “You look like you're lost.”

I turned around and found myself face to face with some preppy looking guy sporting a popped collar like it was still 2004 or something. He seemed to be surrounded by a cloud of beer fumes and I reeled back away from him. “No, I'm not lost. I was just...” I trailed off, because I was just wandering aimlessly, even if I wasn't lost.

“You looked pretty lost,” he pointed out, trailing a hand down my arm.

“I really wasn't, but I should probably... I mean, I need to get back to my friends...” I stuttered out. This guy wasn't even attractive to me, but I couldn't think straight. That was the alcohol, I supposed.

He started nudging me back toward the wall, and since he was so much larger than me, I really couldn't stop him. When my back hit the wall, he planted his hands on either side of my head, effectively holding me there. “I'm sure they won't miss you, so why don't we just hang out back here for a while?”

I tried to wiggle away from him, especially when I saw him closing in on me to try to kiss me. He didn't seem to notice at all or maybe he just didn't care. In the split second before he made it to my lips, I decided to just let it happen, even if I had no clue what this guy's name was. He was a frat guy. Frat guys weren't interested in me, and based on the way Bella talked, _no_ guys were interested in me. Well, I would show her. Not that she was around to see it, but at least I would know she was wrong.

After a breathless, sloppy kiss, he pulled back and mumbled, “Why don't we find a room?”

I knew that was a bad idea. I tried to stutter out some sort of reply that would turn him down without letting him know that I was a nineteen year old virgin, but I wasn't sure any actual words came out of my mouth.

“Trevor, what are you doing back--” A familiar voice began to ask. “Georgie? What are _you_ doing?”

“I was just... I...” I stuttered, glancing around Trevor at Taylor, who had just appeared at the end of the hallway.

“Yeah, I know what you were just,” he said to me, a smirk on his face. “Come on, Trevor, you know she's mine. Hands off.”

To my surprise, the guy who was apparently named Trevor, backed off and put his hands up in defeat at Taylor's words. Backing away down the hallway, he said, “Alright, alright. It's all cool, man.”

“Come on,” Taylor said, holding his hand out to me. “Let's get you out of here.”

“Why?” I asked, scowling and crossing my arms. “You didn't need to rescue me or whatever. I'm not helpless.”

Tay laughed. “Yeah, Georgie, you are. You're also shitfaced. Let's get you out of here before any more frat rats try to get into your pants, okay?”

“Yeah, like that's going to happen,” I said, reluctantly taking Tay's hand. Even though I didn't want to admit to him that he had kind of rescued me... well, he had. I didn't want to sleep with that guy Trevor. I barely even wanted to kiss him. Still, it was nice to be wanted by someone.

Tay pulled me closer as we made our way through the crowd. Just barely audible over all the voices and the music, he said, “You just don't know, Georgie. You just don't even know.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, the words coming out a little slurred. Maybe I was drunk.

“Nevermind,” he said, suddenly steering us in a different direction, toward a crowd of people that I realized contained my roommates. “Hey, guys, I'm gonna walk Georgie back to campus, alright? You guys let Zac know she made it back okay—shitfaced, but okay--when you see him.”

I blinked, and as they all came into focus, I realized that Zac wasn't with them. That was strange, but I didn't feel like thinking too much about it. I was sure he was around somewhere. Once Taylor had assured them all that he would tuck me safely into bed, I had all but forgotten about Zac's strange absence.

Taylor practically had to carry me back down the street toward campus. I leaned heavily on him. As I did, I thought about what he had said to Trevor.

“Hey, Tay,” I said. “Why'd you tell that guy I was yours?”

He shrugged. “It got him to leave, didn't it? Give me your card and your key.”

“Huh?” I asked, not thinking that was a good enough answer.

“Give me your card. I can't get in your dorm without it.”

“Oh,” I replied, suddenly realizing that we were standing in front of the door to Zink Hall. I wasn't sure how we had made it back there so quickly, but obviously we had. I fumbled in my purse, which I was surprised I had been able to hold onto, until I finally located the key chain that held my key and my student ID card and handed it to Taylor.

A few moments later, Taylor was steering me into the suite and toward my room. Nudging me along, he said, “Come on, Georgie. I'm not gonna help you into your pajamas, too. Zac would kill me.”

“Zac's not here,” I said, pouting. “Where did he go?”

“He's still at the party with everybody else,” Taylor replied.

I leaned against my bedroom door, letting it hold me up instead of Taylor. “I wish he was here.”

“Sorry I'm such a poor substitute for him,” Tay said, pretending to look offended. At least, I hoped he was pretending.

“I didn't say that,” I replied.

“Yeah, you kinda did,” Taylor said, smirking. “I know you're hopelessly in love with him, though, so no offense taken. Why don't you get in there and sleep that alcohol off, huh? I have a feeling you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow.”

I sighed. “You're probably right.”

“I could always stay and take care of you...” he offered, still smirking.

“Not necessary!” I ducked into my room and closed the door behind me, even going as far as to turn the lock, before Taylor could say something even more perverted.

“Alright, alright,” he said from the other side of the door. “Your loss. We could have had a fun game of doctor and patient, but you just remember, you turned it down.”

“Go away before I open the door and hurl on you!” I called out.

From the other side of the door, all I could hear was Taylor's laughter, gradually fading away as he, I assumed, left the suite.


	9. Threesome Baby

A few days later, I still didn't feel like I had entirely recovered from how much I'd had to drink at that stupid Tri Delta party. It really didn't feel like that much at the time, but I supposed the punch was a lot stronger than it had tasted. Everyone else in our little group seemed to feel the same way, and even by Tuesday evening we were all still acting groggy and grumpy.

The fact that I had never gotten a straight answer from Zac about where he was while I was being ushered back from the party by Taylor still bothered me, but I quit asking him about it after the third time he seemed to dodge the question. I couldn't stop being frustrated by it, though. Maybe he was just hanging out with his guy friends, but considering the fact that he practically thought of me as one of those guy friends, that wasn't a very satisfying answer. Even as I sat next to him at dinner on Tuesday, chatting about our game night plans for the next night, I couldn't totally relax and just be happy.

While we worked on those plans, I barely even noticed Bella approaching the table. She gave an annoying little wave and directed her greeting right to Zac, which made me bristle even more.

“So, hey, Georgina,” she said, as thought she had just noticed I was there. “I was just going to see if we could get together tonight and watch that movie again. I finally finished reading the book, by the way. Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“I have a literary magazine meeting,” I said. “But you're free to watch it on your own. It's still in the living room, next to the DVD player.”

“Oh, okay,” she replied. “Well, I guess that's fine. But we do need to get together and start outlining our papers soon...”

I nodded, wishing she would just go away. “I know, I know. I just have this meeting tonight, but we'll work on it later in the week? It isn't due until the end of the next week, so I think we're good.”

If I was trying to delay working with her, I don't think anyone could blame me. The idea that I had to spend the majority of the semester working on this huge project with her was just a sick joke being played on me by the universe and was really more than I could bear.

At least Bella seemed to grasp that I wasn't really up for chatting with her and she hurried off not long after that, back to the table designated for pledges like her. Ignoring the weird looks everyone, especially Zac, was giving me, I reminded them that I had that literary mag meeting soon and rushed off myself.

The meetings were always long but unproductive. That was what happened when you got a room full of English majors together. The group inevitably argued and went off on so many tangents that very little was accomplished until later in the semester when we felt the deadline looming. That particular meeting was no different, and by the time it finally ended, I was exhausted.

During the walk back to Zink, I sent Zac a text to see if he wanted to hang out for a while, but he was once again busy. That was fine by me, I decided, since I was really too tired to stay awake very late, and I told Zac that. Not that I was really worried that Zac might even consider that I felt like he was blowing me off. He didn't seem to notice that at all lately, even though we had spent less time together this semester than we ever had before in our lives.

When I walked back into the suite, Bella was in the living room watching Harry Potter. Well, the television was on, but her head was down, giggling at something on her cell phone's screen. The screen made her face glow blue and it made her look even more evil than usual.

“Oh, Georgina,” she said. “Thank you so much for letting me borrow the movie, too.”

“No problem,” I replied, stopping in my tracks and waiting for whatever underhanded comment was no doubt going to come next, but nothing came. That was a strange change and it made me feel uneasy yet relieved.

Once I was certain Bella wasn't going to say anything else, I went on to my room and tossed my bag down on my desk chair. I grabbed my robe and headed off to the bathroom I unfortunately had to share with Bella to take a shower. She took forever in the bathroom, especially in the mornings, so I always looked for chances to use it when I knew she wasn't around or likely to need the bathroom. While she was busy watching the movie was a good opportunity, and I took the chance to take my time with a nice, long, relaxing shower.

It didn't soothe all of my worries, but by the time I was done and had changed into my pajamas and dried my hair, I felt a little better. I was still exhausted, though, especially with all my stupid thoughts about Bella and Zac and Taylor...

There wasn't anything to my thoughts about Taylor, though. He had walked me back from the party and been a gentleman about it, at least as much as he was capable of. If it wasn't for that stupid sex dream, which I had nearly forgotten about, I wouldn't even be thinking about Taylor at all. He had noting to do with the confusion and frustration I was feeling, although my psyche seemed to think otherwise, since it decided to insert Taylor into that dream.

As I settled into bed, I realized that thinking about that dream probably sealed the deal on me having another dream just like it. That sounded like my luck.

 

_I was sitting in my bathroom on the edge of the tub. In my hand I held a little plastic stick. Even though I'd never held anything like that before, I knew exactly what it was. I didn't remember peeing on it, but I was waiting. Waiting for an answer. Before I could even begin to consider how the hell I got myself into this situation, I had an answer._

_Two pink lines. I was pregnant._

_Immediately, there was a knock on the bathroom door._

_“George?” Zac said. “Is the test done yet?”_

_“Y-yeah,” I stuttered out, suddenly not wanting to tell him what the test said. Why was I nervous? Wouldn't he be happy to know that I was pregnant with his child?_

_There was another knock at the door._

_“Yeah, do you know if we're having a baby?” Taylor asked._

_We? As in... Taylor and I?_

_Then I remembered. I had had sex with both of them, hadn't I? Either one of them could be the father. I had no clue what to say to Taylor's question. Zac knocked on the door again and called out my name. I didn't answer. Both fists pounded on the door, both boys calling out my name. I crawled into the shower and pulled the curtain, as though that could hide me from them as they continued to pound on the door and rattle the doorknob. The entire bathroom seemed to shake as they tried to get in, to confront me. I began to cry._

 

I woke up with a start, giving a pathetic little yelp. I felt my cheeks and was relieved to see that I hadn't actually started to cry, even though I could feel it in my chest, threatening to come bubbling up out of me. This was the sequel to the sex dream, I supposed.

What the actual fuck was wrong with my brain, I wondered? Only I could dream up something so strange as a Hogwarts sex dream where Zac, the guy I actually wanted to be with, was transformed into his brother while we were fucking. Sex dreams about Zac were nothing new for me, sadly. Sex dreams about Taylor, though... that had never happened before. A dream that was technically about both and resulted in some weird threesome baby? That was, even for my strange brain, completely unprecedented.

With a groan, I pulled myself out of bed. After that dream, I doubted I would be able to go back to sleep and I needed to use the bathroom. Even though I didn't want to see the suite's bathroom right then, not after that dream, I knew there was no way I could go back to sleep if I didn't use the bathroom. At least I had gotten a few hours of decent sleep, I decided, as I glanced at my alarm clock on the way out of my room and saw that it was already two in the morning.

I pulled my door open and stepped out into the little hallway, if you could even call it that, between my room and Bella's. The bathroom lay between the two with her room directly opposite mine. I was surprised to see a soft light coming from her room so late and even more surprised when her door swung open. It was just my luck that after a dream like that I would run into my least favorite roommate ever. I knew there were worse things that could happen to me, but every little interaction with her just put me in a bad mood.

It wasn't Bella who stepped out of her room, though. It was Zac, wearing nothing but a pair of blue plaid boxers.


	10. Herpagonasyphilaids

This was not happening. There was absolutely no possible way this was happening. I struggled to think of any good reason why Zac would be in Bella's room late at night in his underwear, but I could think of none except the obvious.

“You're sleeping with her,” I hissed.

“I—I didn't mean for you to find out this way,” Zac stuttered out.

“I'm sure you didn't mean for me to find out at all,” I said, crossing my arms. “If you did, you would have just told me. It's pretty clear you were hiding it from me.”

“Can you blame me?” Zac asked. “You've made it pretty clear that you don't like her. So I'm sorry if I didn't feel like hearing how awful I am for being with her.”

“Well, you're going to hear about it now,” I replied.

“I wasn't aware I needed your approval anyway. Do you have to vet every girl I sleep with?”

I stared at him. I had exploded in anger at him, without thinking of how it must look. Surely he could hear the jealousy in my words. There was no way to deny it; I was just jealous. It wasn't like he had never dated before, and I knew that he wasn't a virgin, but I had never had to spend that much time with the girls he dated. None of them ever seemed to last long or get very serious. And none of them were Bella.

“I... I don't...” I stuttered out, struggling to find something to say to make myself look reasonable. “Look, you know how I feel about her. Doesn't my opinion mean anything to you?”

“Zac?” Bella's voice rang out just seconds before her door opened further and she stepped out wearing some silky little nightgown. “Oh... is everything okay out here?”

“Everything's fine,” I said through gritted teeth. “We just had a little traffic jam at the bathroom.”

“Well,” she said, turning back to Zac. “Hurry up and get back in here, won't you?”

He gave her a little nod, but didn't speak. I just shoved past him and made my way to the bathroom. I could hear his and Bella's voices, then the sound of her bedroom door closing. I tried not to think about what they might be doing in her room and hurried back to my own room. I doubted I would be able to fall asleep again after that, but I had to try.

Just as I settled back into bed, there was a knock at my door, followed by Zac's soft voice. “George? You still awake?”

“No. Go away.”

Rather than do as I said, he opened the door. With the hallway light shining behind him, I could see that he had put his clothes back on. His hair was still a mess, reminding me of what he had just done with Bella.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked.

“Why would I be mad at you?” I tried to sound friendly and oblivious, but failed.

“I don't know,” he replied. “I mean, I was going to tell you. Eventually. You finding out this way was a complete accident.”

“Yeah, well, what's done is done,” I said. “I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. So you just go on back to Bella and try not to catch the herpagonasyphilaids, and let's never talk about it again, okay?”

“Fine,” Zac said. “Whatever. I should have known you were going to be ridiculous about this. I was going to apologize for it, but you know what? I'm not sorry. I know you don't, but I like her. I'm not going to apologize for that.”

“Then don't. Just get out and let me sleep.” As I said it, I rolled over to let him know the conversation was over.

“Fine,” he repeated. Seconds later the door slammed behind him.

I could hear Zac and Bella's voices again, but I put my pillow over my head to drown them out. I thought I could make out the sound of a door closing, but I wasn't sure if it was Bella's or the suite's main door. I wasn't sure I really cared.

That was a lie, though. I did care. I cared a lot. On a rational level, I didn't think it was wrong to be upset that Zac had kept the fact that he was sleeping with Bella, the roommate from hell, hidden from me. He _knew_ how I felt about her. He knew sleeping with her would hurt me, and he did it anyway. Even if he was clueless about my feelings for him, it was a dick move and he had to know that.

Did he know how I felt about him, though?

Surely he knew that I was jealous. And ultimately that was the biggest reason why I was so upset. None of the girls Zac had dated before had been that remarkable. They hadn't been like me, but they hadn't been so unlike me as Bella was. If that was what he really wanted, then it was obvious that I didn't stand a chance with him and never would.

With that thought in mind, I curled up and cried myself to sleep.

****

I didn't feel any better the next day. I woke up with puffy eyes and a pain in my chest like something had just been ripped out of it–namely, my heart. I covered up the tracks of my tears with makeup, but I knew any of my friends would be able to tell something was wrong as soon as they looked at me. Unfortunately, the one friend who could see through me–in every way but one–no longer seemed to care. And that was what had gotten me into this situation.

Even though I wanted to do nothing but stay in bed all day or even for the rest of my life, I forced myself to get up and go to class. Luckily, I didn't have any classes with Bella on Wednesdays or the decision to stay in bed would have been very easy to make. I didn't see her or any of my other roommates until I made my way into the food court for lunch.

Most of our group was already sitting at a table when I made my way over with my chicken sandwich. Most of them... except for one very important person. It was just as well, since I didn't want to see him right then anyway.

“Hey, George,” Molly said, her voice so chipper that it was clear she hadn’t noticed my bad mood yet. “I don't have a TA session tonight, so we were talking about the plans for tonight. Any ideas?”

“Nope,” I said. “No ideas.”

Molly tilted her head to the side and examined me as I sat down next to her. “Are you okay?”

I sighed. “I guess I should just tell you guys. Unless you already know, and Zac just made sure I was the last to find out.”

“The last to find out what?” Peyton asked. Elijah looked equally clueless, and that made me feel better. If Zac‘s own roommate didn't know, then it was obvious that on some level Zac was ashamed. If he wasn’t, he ought to have been.

“That Zac is--” I began, the words dying in my mouth when I saw him walk into the food court with Bella. They were close together, their bodies practically touching even though they didn't hold hands or anything. It was still very clear they were _together_. “I think I'm going to go barf now.”

“Oh my god. He's not,” Peyton said, gaping at them.

“He is,” I replied. “And I only found out when I accidentally stumbled upon his walk of shame. He wasn't even going to tell me.”

“How long has this been going on?” Molly asked.

“I'm guessing as long as he's been staying out late studying,” Elijah cut in. “Studying Bella's anatomy, it would seem.”

“Thank you for that wonderful mental image.” I glared at him.

To my utter dismay, Zac and Bella were walking toward our table. They parted ways with a brief kiss halfway there and she headed off toward her sorority pledge table. That was one small victory, at least, to know that I didn't have to eat lunch with her. Somehow, it really didn't make me feel any better.

As Zac approached our table, all conversation ground to a halt and was replaced by an awkward silence. He noticed it, I was sure, because he paused and stared at us. We were all staring up at him, too. I had no clue what everyone else was feeling, but I was disgusted, jealous and furious. From what I could tell, they all just looked shocked. I didn't blame them.

“Hey,” Zac said, sticking his hands in his pockets and glancing around the table.

Everyone else at the table mumbled a greeting, but I couldn't speak. The longer I looked at Zac, the angrier I became. Maybe it was irrational to think of it that way, but I just couldn't understand how he could do this to me. He knew how I felt about her. He knew, even if he didn't know how I felt about him, that this would hurt me. How could doing something that hurt me make Zac happy? I just didn't understand it at all, and the more I thought about it, the more I wondered how things would ever be the same between us.

“So,” Zac said, sliding into a chair like nothing unusual at all was happening. “Have we come up with any plans for game night?”

Game night. I had completely forgotten about it. I wished I could forget it again.

Molly shook her head. “We were just talking about it, since I can actually be there for once, but we hadn't decided on anything.”

“Well, how about Magic? Although I think George still has my best deck,” Zac said, giving me a little nudge when he said my name.

“Really?” I backed away from him. “Really, Zac?”

“What?” He asked.

“You're going to act like things are totally okay right now?”

Zac frowned. “Yeah, I was kind of hoping we could. Making a big deal out of this isn't going to fix anything.”

“No,” I replied. “You're right. It's not. You know what would fix this, though.”

“I'm not going to break up with her just because you don't like her.”

I felt my eyes widen. “You're actually _dating_ her? I didn't know she did dating. I thought she just did communicable diseases.”

“I'm not going to have this conversation,” Zac said. “Not ever, but especially not here and now, in front of everyone. You can't just talk about my girlfriend like that.”

I was going to be sick. I was definitely going to be sick.

“You guys,” I said, pushing my tray back and standing up. “I think, umm, maybe we should cancel game night. I just... I just don't think I can do this. I'm sorry.”

Before anyone could complain about that, I hurried away from the table. No one tried to stop me. They were all still frozen in shock at the conversation they had just witnessed, it seemed.

I shouldn't have been surprised, I supposed. Yet I was. He was actually _dating_ her. Zac, my best friend, was dating that bitch and he expected me to just be okay with it. He expected me not to make a big deal out of it. How could he possibly expect that to happen?

It couldn't. Things would never be okay as long as he was dating her, and I wasn't sure they would be okay even if they broke up. There was no way our friendship could ever be the same again.


	11. V Card Collector

Not surprisingly, game night plans fizzled out after my blow up at Zac. No one really wanted to deal with that again, and I couldn't blame them. At least Zac and Bella had the sense to stay away from our suite that night. There was no possible way I could deal with them right then.

I realized, as I was brooding in my room, that I still had those Magic cards Zac had mentioned. I still had so many of his things in my room, and I suddenly wanted none of them around me anymore. Maybe I was overreacting, because I knew we weren't dating, but this still felt like a breakup. With breakups came the phase when you have to give everything back, and I decided it was time for that phase.

The problem was that meant facing Zac.

There was no way I could do that. While I crammed his t-shirts, Magic cards, books and CDs into plastic shopping bags, I tried to figure out some way to give his stuff back without having to see him. I couldn't take them to his suite because there was a chance that he would answer the door. As ridiculous as it seemed to walk across campus when Zac lived just two floors above me, I decided I would have to take his things to Taylor. The chances of him being at Taylor's apartment were significantly lower, so I felt safest going there, even if I did dread what Taylor would have to say to me.

Once I had thrown everything of Zac's that I could find into three plastic bags, I walked across campus to Sitlington. Along the way, I sent Taylor a text to let me in and thankfully he was already waiting by the door when I arrived.

“Are you considering a career as a bag lady?” Taylor asked as he held the door open for me. “It's not a very good look for you.”

“Douchebag isn't a good look for you either, yet you insist on wearing it,” I shot back, shoving my way past him.

“I look good in anything I wear,” he replied, following me down the hallway and stretching out his long arm to open his apartment door for me. Once we were inside the apartment, he said, “Okay, what the hell is this all about?”

I sighed, heaving my bags onto the couch and sitting down. “I didn't want to see Zac, so I figured I would bring you all his stuff, and you can give it back to him.”

“Is this because he's getting in Tri Delta Dawn's pants?”

“Eww,” I replied. “Just... eww. Don't remind me. But yes, it is.”

“Somebody's jealous,” Taylor said in a sing-song voice. “Come on, it's not like you were doing him. Be glad you weren't, too. You'd probably catch something that slut gave him.”

“I thought you wanted her,” I said. “You were drooling over her when she moved in.”

Taylor sat down next to me. “I'm allowed to drool. She's hot, but she's not really my type.”

“I thought your type was any girl with a pulse,” I said.

“Har, har,” Taylor replied. “And yet, I haven't gotten with you. Should we check you for a pulse?”

I noticed Taylor was scooting closer to me and I leaned away from him. “I have a pulse, thank you very much. And standards far too high to ever sleep with you.”

“That hurts, Georgie,” he said, holding his hand over his heart. “That really hurts. Cuts me deep.”

“I'm sure it does,” I replied, trying to ignore the way it made me feel when he called me Georgie. I always like it better than when Zac called me George, but right then it felt... well, I didn’t have a word for how it felt, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it.

“You know, Georgie,” Tay said, reaching out to run his fingers through my hair. “I get that you're mad at Zac. I get that this really hurts. And you wanna lash out at him. But when you do, it doesn't change anything and it just makes him want to do the opposite of what you want him to do. But you know what _would_ work on him?”

“What?” I asked, hating the way I leaned into his touch. It was surely just because no one but that stupid drunk frat guy had touched me in forever.

“Make him jealous, too.”

Before I had time to process all of Taylor's words and figure out what he meant, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. They weren't soft and pillowy like Zac's had been those few times we had kissed as kids, but they felt nice. Strong. Confident. When he parted my lips with his tongue, he tasted like spearmint. He had always chewed spearmint gum, and I used to hate the way he smacked it so loudly. I used to hate everything about Taylor, so why was I letting him kiss me?

“Taylor,” I said, shoving him away from me. “I'm not going to make Zac jealous, because he is never, ever going to know that you just kissed me.”

He smirked. “Think of it as killing two birds with one bone. Make him jealous and get rid of that pesky little virginity, too.”

“I get that you're trying to collect the full set of V cards at OSU, but it's just not going to happen,” I replied, backing away from Taylor and crossing my arms.

He inched closer to me and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck. With his lips so close they were almost touching my skin, he said, “Look, it's no big deal to be a college sophomore and still be a virgin. So what? But I can tell it's hanging over your head, so... why not? We don't have to tell anyone.”

I wanted to argue that I wasn't really a virgin, but I was. The things Zac and I had done as teenagers–some of which I had repeated with the couple of guys I'd dated since then--didn't really count. Plus, it had only happened once before we decided it was way too weird. Much like our first kiss when we were eleven, we had both admitted during our freshman year of high school that we wondered what sex was like. We didn't make it past some awkward groping and a really bad blow job before we decided to never, ever do that again. I was pretty sure Taylor knew about all of that anyway, but if he didn't, I certainly didn't need to give him another reason to mock me.

He had a point about my virginity, though. Why was I still hanging onto it? Zac wasn't a virgin. We weren't going to have a magical first time together. Why not just get my virginity out of the way so I had one less thing to worry about and be mocked for?

“Okay,” I said, still barely believing that I was agreeing to this. “I guess... but _only_ if we don't tell Zac.”

“Deal,” Taylor said, standing up and offering his hand to me. The smile on his face scared me... and turned me on a little.

In spite of the voice in my head screaming at me that this was insane and there was absolutely no way I should be sleeping with Taylor, I let him lead me toward his bedroom. It was a little messy and he had to shove a pile of clothes off his bed onto the floor before patting the bed for me to sit down, but I really didn't care about the mess. As bad as it sounded, I just cared about getting this over with.

“Relax,” he said, pulling me closer to him so our legs were touching. “This isn't gonna work if you don't relax. I would like for you to actually enjoy having sex with me, you know.”

“Yeah, well...” I mumbled, staring at Taylor's lips.

I wasn't sure how I had planned on finishing that sentence, but it didn't matter, since Taylor leaned in and kissed me again. This time I let myself kiss him back, glad that Taylor was so confident, almost forceful. It was easy to follow his lead and just mirror whatever he did. I didn't really understand why he would want me, but evidently he did. Taylor wasn't exactly picky about who he slept with. He just liked sex. I didn't have to be that good for him to be happy... I hoped.

“Georgie...” Taylor mumbled, easing me back until I was laying underneath him. His hand started to creep under my shirt and it made me shiver. “Why are you so nervous? I mean, besides... the obvious...”

I shrugged. “That's basically why, I guess.”

“Well, don't be,” he said. He grabbed my hand and pressed it to the front of his jeans, forcing me to feel that he was already very, _very_ turned on. “I want this. And I hope you do, too.”

“I do,” I said, surprising myself with how much I meant it and how breathless I sounded.

That was the last little bit of reassurance Taylor needed, I supposed. He descended on me again, his lips latching onto my neck as his hand continued to creep up my ribs and into my bra. His other hand guided mine to unbutton and unzip his pants, then slipped it inside his boxers. He was burning hot and _huge_ , and knowing that I had caused that reaction really turned me on.

“Fuck, Georgie...” he breathed out, and I moaned softly at how good it sounded to hear him say my nickname like that. He nudged my shirt upward and asked, “Do you think we can take this off?”

I nodded, not really trusting myself to speak, and scrambled to sit up so that Taylor could pull my shirt over my head. Before I even had time to be embarrassed about so much of my skin being exposed to him, Taylor's hand snaked around my back and unhooked my bra. I could only watch with wide eyes as he descended on my breasts, his tongue darting out to lick my nipple. That was something Zac hadn't done at all the one time we had–no. I didn't need to think about Zac right then. I needed to focus on Taylor... and the fact that his hand was creeping in between my legs.

“Tay...” I gasped out, tangling a hand in his hair to try to get his attention.

His eyes flickered up to me, looking positively wicked. “Yeah? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?”

“W-what are you thinking?” I was almost afraid to know, but I had to ask.

“That it's time for these pants to go,” he said, popping the button on my jeans. “I'll take mine off if you take yours off.”

I couldn't really argue with that. I wouldn't have admitted it to him, but I did want to see the part of Taylor I had just touched. I gave him a nod that I hoped didn't look too eager and lifted my hips up to wiggle my jeans down. My eyes were trained on Taylor as he stood up and pushed both his pants and boxer briefs down his thighs. It took a little effort, and a hop that I would have laughed at under any other circumstances, to finally free him from his ridiculously tight jeans. Once he finally stepped out of them, I let myself stare.

He was _huge_. There was no way this was going to work.

“Come on, Georgie,” he said, chuckling. “You're going to need to take those panties off, too.”

I blushed, but did as he said. At least Taylor had the decency to turn his back to me while I took my panties off and tossed them into the floor. I realized, when I saw him digging through his top dresser drawer, that he was probably looking for a condom. Sure enough, when he turned back around and gave me a smile, he was waving a little blue package held between his fingers.

“Are we really doing this?” I asked, nervously pulling my legs up toward my chest.

Taylor crawled across the bed toward me, set the condom packet down at my side and nudged my legs apart. I let my hair flop over my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him as he settled in between my legs, one hand pressed against my inner thigh. “Georgie. If you don't want to do this, we can stop. Just say the word.”

“Is it bad that I just really want to get it over with?” I asked.

“Well, it's not great for my self esteem,” Taylor replied.

“Believe me, your self esteem needs to be dialed back to more normal levels,” I said.

“Maybe,” he said, letting his hand creep between my legs, one finger trailing through the wetness I was ashamed to admit he had caused. “And maybe not. This is definitely helping with the self esteem, though.”

“Yeah, yeah...” I replied, but it came out more like a moan, which didn't help my case at all.

Taylor chuckled as he slid his finger in and out of me. “Now you're just being silly. I can see right through you.”

“Can you not... talk so much?” I gasped out as he added a second finger.

“As you wish,” Taylor replied, leaning down and pressing his lips to my neck as he continued to finger me.

This was absolutely surreal, but I was forced to admit–at least to myself–that it did feel good. Really, really good. As much sex as Taylor bragged about having, I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised that he was so talented. The fact that it was Taylor Fucking Hanson causing me so much pleasure was something I would just have to try to forget.

“Are you ready?” He mumbled against my neck, bringing me back to reality. As if it wasn't obvious what he meant, I felt him reaching for the condom.

“I–umm,” I stuttered out, looking into Taylor's eyes. I couldn't look at them for long. Glancing away, I nodded. “Yeah. I'm ready.”

With my head still turned, I could only hear Taylor ripping the condom package open. I definitely didn't want to watch him put it on, so I kept my head turned until he nudged my chin and forced me to look at him.

“It's alright,” Taylor said softly, cupping my chin and leaning down to kiss me.

While he kissed me, he inched closer to me. My back was already up against the headboard, so I had no room to scoot away from him. I didn't really want to, even if I was nervous. Taylor lifted my legs and re-positioned me so I was sort of sitting in his lap while he leaned over me. He pulled me toward him with one hand, his other hand pressed against the wall by my head, until I could feel his dick touching me. It made me shiver. I was vaguely aware of Taylor telling me again to relax, but I didn't really process his words. He had thrust into me, and even though he was being gentle, it did hurt.

"Stop," I said. When I saw the panic on Taylor's eyes, I added, "N-not... completely. Just... can you wait a second?"

"I've got all the time in the world," he replied, grinning.

I ignored how cheesy he was and just tried to relax. After a few deep breaths, I did feel my body relaxing, the tension fading away and the feeling of Taylor inside of me actually starting to be a good thing.

A very good thing.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?" Taylor repeated and I nodded.

Taylor built up his rhythm gradually, obviously trying not to hurt me any more than he already had. Somehow, I found that really sexy. It was nothing compared to watching him move above me, though, the muscles in his arms tensing and his bottom lip quivering. I focused on his lips and the perfect shape of them as Taylor continued to thrust in and out of me.

"God, Georgie..." He moaned, and I thought it was absolutely absurd that someone as inhumanly beautiful as him could think _I_ was the reason this felt so good.

The realization that he did and that he really was enjoying this every bit as much as I was only turned me on more, though. As much as I wanted to focus on watching him, my vision began to blur and the room grew unbearably hot. I was only somewhat aware of Taylor letting out a string of curse words as my body filled with pleasure like never before.

I snapped back to reality when Taylor pulled away from me and stood up to toss the condom in his trash can. As I watched him, completely naked, the reality of what we had done hit me. I dove into the floor to retrieve my clothes and hurriedly began to redress.

Taylor spun back around to face me as I was buttoning up my jeans. "What's the rush, sweetheart?"

"I just... umm... I need to go. I'm sure everyone is wondering where I am," I stuttered out.

"And you're not going to tell them."

I shook my head. "I think it's probably best if we don't tell anyone about... this."

"Alright," he replied with a shrug, but I could tell he wasn't entirely happy about it.

He didn't protest as I finished dressing and gathering up my cell phone and keys, which had both managed to end up in his floor. Taylor didn't speak again until my hand was on the door knob.

"But you know, Georgie, if things don't work out between you and Zac..."

I walked out of his room and slammed the door behind me before he could finish that sentence.


	12. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

I expected to wake up the next day feeling different somehow, but I didn't. Losing your virginity was supposed to be a life changing thing, wasn't it? That was what everyone always said and what all the teen movies and television shows portrayed. People made such a big deal out of it, and I supposed that was why I had waited so long. I had envisioned a fairytale first time–with Zac, of course.

But I wasn't stupid. I knew that fairytale wasn't going to come. For quite some time before Taylor propositioned me, I had figured it would just be easier to get rid of my virginity through any means necessary. The longer I held onto it, the more of a pariah I was. I didn't need to give people more reasons to mock me. So what if the first guy I had sex with wasn't someone I loved? What did it _really_ matter?

And Taylor was _definitely_ not someone I loved.

The morning after having sex with him, I didn't feel different at all. Maybe a little sore, but that was the only change. Emotionally and mentally, I still felt like me.

Since my morning class was canceled, I decided to let myself sleep in and I stayed in my pajamas until well into the day. Once everyone else was gone to class, I finally emerged from my room and fired up my Playstation to work on the game Zac had bought for me a few years ago, Rogue Galaxy, that I still hadn't finished. 

"Anybody home?" Molly called out as she opened the door.

"Just me, I think," I replied, not taking my eyes off the television screen.

She stepped in front of it. "Well, at least you've showered, even if you are still in pajamas. Now put on some pants and lets go to lunch."

"I don't really feel up to leaving the dorm today," I said, pausing my game since I couldn't see it anymore anyway.

"That's not what I mean," she said. "I mean, you do have to leave the dorm. But I was thinking we could go to IHOP or something. Off campus and away from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"Voldemort?"

Molly shushed me. "Don't say that name! But no, I meant Zac."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "But why are _you_ avoiding him?"

"I'm not," she said. "But you are. And even though I've been friends with both of you for basically the same amount of time, and I don't want to choose sides, I know you're hurting right now. And Zac isn't. So for now, I'm taking your side. And I'm taking you to lunch, if you get dressed."

I groaned and made a show of tossing down my controller. "Fine, fine. If you insist, I'll put on pants. I might even brush my hair."

"Don't get too crazy!" Molly replied, laughing, as she walked off toward her room.

A few minutes later, once I had put on pants, brushed my hair and even managed to apply a little makeup, we were on our way to IHOP. Since it was Molly's idea, she insisted on driving. It wasn't really that far from campus but it was definitely too hot to walk and potentially risk running into anyone we didn't want to run into. OSU was big enough that that shouldn't have been a concern, but I was paranoid. I knew my luck was just that bad. But at least my bad luck had earned me pancakes.

Molly didn't say much until we had been seated and ordered our Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruities. Once the waitress was gone, though, she put her elbows on the table and stared at me.

"So," she said. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged and picked at a loose thread on the bottom of my tank top. I didn't really know how to reply to that, considering what I had done the night before. Having sex with Taylor had certainly gotten Zac off my mind, which I supposed was a good thing. On the other hand, now that I had remembered him, I could only think about how much he would hate me if he knew what I had done–or rather, who.

"Georgie?" Molly asked. "Seriously, are you alright?"

"I don't know," I replied, finally looking up at her. "It's just... really crazy."

"Tell me about it," she said. "I know Zac is oblivious, but even he should realize that this is hurting you, even if he doesn't realize how you actually feel about him. I mean, for him to go for someone like... _her_. I just can't believe it. She seems more Taylor's speed."

I frowned. "Maybe they've switched types."

"Why? Have you seen Taylor with a nerdy girl? Not that it would surprise me. I mean, he'll run out of sorority chicks eventually, right?"

"I guess," I replied softly.

We were in dangerous territory now. I didn't want to give Molly any reason to suspect that I had been with Taylor. On the other hand, I felt a sudden urge to tell her that I had finally lost my virginity. Even if it didn't seem like a big deal to me, she had made a point of telling me the previous semester when she and the guy she had dated off and on through high school, who had gone to Oral Roberts back in Tulsa, finally went all the way. Their relationship fizzled out over the summer, but the point was that she told me everything, and I felt like I should do the same for her.

"Hey, Molly," I said. "Can I tell you something... something kind of big?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"Well, I... I may have... lost my v card," I said, lowering my voice with each word.

"Are you serious?" She asked. "When? Who with?"

Those were far too many questions, and I really should have had a lie prepared for the last one. I stuttered a few times before finally replying, "Oh, umm, a guy from the party last weekend."

That wasn't entirely a lie. Taylor _had_ been at the party, after all. And since everyone else had vanished for a while, for all they knew, I had met a guy there. It seemed like a decent enough lie.

"Wow, just some random guy?" Molly asked, a hint of awe in her voice rather than judgment. She was so shy that I supposed one night stands and casual sex were entirely out of the realm of possibility for her.

I shrugged. "Not totally random. I mean, I saw him again... last night. But it's not like I'm _dating_ him or anything."

It was amazing how the lies just fell out of my mouth. It was even more amazing that Molly believed them. I thought surely she would be able to see right through me, but it appeared that she hadn't.

"Anyway, it's no big deal," I replied just as the waitress arrived with our food.

Molly didn't even look at her plate. Her eyes were focused on me and as wide as her pancakes. Once the waitress was gone, she spoke again. "No big deal? Are you serious? I mean, I know things didn't work out with me and Caleb, but sex was still a big deal. Was this just a one night thing or what? Even then, that is a _huge_ deal."

"I don't know what it was," I said, then stuffed my mouth with pancake. I could tell Molly wasn't satisfied with that answer, so I chewed and swallowed my food, then added, "We didn't really talk about it, but it's not like I'm going to date this guy. Of that I'm sure."

"Never say never," Molly replied, grinning. "If you could do _that_ with him, you could date him."

"I don't know about that," I mumbled into a forkful of Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity.

Molly saw fit to drop the subject for a while as we ate, but eventually she started tapping her foot like she was about to explode. I knew that look. It meant she was dying to say something, and finally, she did. "Well, I don't want to jinx it or anything, but there is this guy I like... but we haven't done anything like _that_ yet."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "But I'm guessing you want to."

She blushed. "Well, yeah, maybe. I mean, I don't know. But like I said, nothing has really happened yet, so I don't want to say too much."

"I guess you're allowed to keep a few secrets," I replied teasingly, even though I knew I was keeping an even bigger secret. Hopefully Molly didn't realize that, though.

"I guess I am," she replied. "But you better tell me if anything else happens with you and this guy."

Looking away, because I hated lying to Molly so much, I said, "Yeah, I definitely will."

"Hey, maybe we'll run into him at the party this weekend too and you can show him to me!"

"What party?" I asked, dropping my fork.

"Oh, you know," she said. "There's a luau themed party in Taylor's building. I just assumed we would go."

I felt my stomach drop, but I tried not to let it show. "Oh. Well, it can't be any worse than the party at the sorority, right?"

"Right," she said. "I know there's a chance of Zac being there, and if he is, we can leave. I am totally on your side here, like I said."

My stomach dropped even further. The thought of this party made me sick. Going to a party at Taylor's apartment, where Zac would very likely be, seemed like a recipe for disaster. I couldn't explain that to Molly, though. There was no way I could tell her about what Taylor and I had done. It didn't matter that I already sort of _had_ told her. I hadn't mentioned Taylor, and that was the part that mattered. No one else could ever know about it.

I was on seriously thin ice here.

"Hey, umm," I said. "You know, I have class pretty soon, so why don't we hurry up and get back to campus? I don't think I was really hungry enough for IHOP today anyway."

"Are you feeling alright?" Molly teased. "I know it can't be morning sickness this soon."

"Oh, that is so not even funny," I replied, faking a little gag just to prove my point.

Molly giggled. "Okay, okay. Well, I have class too, so we probably should hurry up."

Even though Molly rushed to scarf the rest of her food down, I could barely eat another bite. All I could think about was how much of a disaster this luau party was going to be. Of course, I still couldn't tell Molly that, so I decided to just remain silent. I could tell that she knew something was wrong, but what could I say?

Nothing. I could say nothing at all that wasn't _I just lost my virginity to Taylor The Manwhore even though I'm in love with his brother._

Yeah, that wasn't going to go over well.

As we headed back to campus, I felt myself growing sicker and sicker. What the hell had I been thinking yesterday? How could it have possibly been a good idea to have sex with Taylor? I wasn't psychic or anything, but I could see the future clearly in this case, and there was no way this was going to end well for me. Hopefully I could convince Taylor of that. It wasn't like I was going to have sex with him again, anyway, so why couldn't we just forget the first time had ever happened?


	13. Get Leid

A few days later, I found myself donning a stupid lei and walking across campus to Sitlington with Molly and Peyton. At least we had all decided to forego the stupid grass skirts that Taylor had insisted were part of the dress code for the party. I felt self conscious enough just wearing my normal clothes with those bright turquoise flowers around my neck. It didn't matter that we passed plenty of other people in more elaborate costumes.

It didn't even matter that Taylor himself had donned a grass skirt and coconut bra.

Okay, that helped a little.

"I'm not sure how to feel about this," Peytron said, waving a finger in the direction of Taylor's torso.

"Arousal is the usual reaction," he replied.

"I was leaning more toward nausea," Peyton shot back. "And like I am far, far too sober for this."

"We can fix that," Neil said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. It must have been the word sober that summoned Taylor's creepy stoner roommate, I decided.

Peyton plucked Neil's arm from her shoulder, the look on her face full of even more disgust than it had been when she was focused on Taylor's revealing outfit. I couldn't help laughing, especially since Neil seemed oblivious to the fact that he was so unwanted. He wrapped an arm around Molly _and_ Peyton, and offered them both drinks. Soon he was escorting them–unwillingly–away, leaving me alone with Taylor.

"Well, then," Taylor said. "Feels like I haven't seen you in forever. Have you been avoiding me, Georgie Girl?"

"No," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to look at anything but Taylor's bare torso. The last thing I needed to see right then was any part of Taylor's exposed flesh, because it only reminded me of the night when I saw _all_ of him.

He took a few steps closer to me and lowered his gaze to get closer to my level. "It sure seems like it, and I gotta say, I don't like it."

"I thought you usually were a fan of the whole love 'em and leave 'em thing," I replied.

"Is that what you think of me?" Taylor asked, a hand clutching his coconut covered heart. "That hurts, Georgie. You're so cruel to me."

"I really can't take you seriously while you're dressed up like something that belongs on the dashboard of a creepy van," I said.

"Would you prefer if I were naked?" Taylor asked, grinning.

"No," I replied, but my brain seemed to think otherwise, since it was filled with images of Taylor's naked body on top of me. I could feel myself blushing, and judging by Taylor's smirk, he noticed it too.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand. "Let's go somewhere a little more private."

"Let's not and say we did," I mumbled, but I was powerless to stop Taylor from dragging me off toward his bedroom.

I couldn't help glancing around nervously as he pulled me along, but there were too many drunk people around for anyone to notice little old me. Taylor shoved his bedroom door open and came to a sudden stop, forcing me to peer around him to see why he had stopped. There was a half-dressed couple sprawled across his bed, doing what I can only assume Taylor had brought me into his room to do.

"Not cool, guys," Taylor said, then clapped his hands together to get their attention. "Out, now! That was _not_ what I meant when I said 'get leid!'"

Before the couple could respond to that, Taylor slammed the door on them and yanked me off toward the bathroom. He parted the crowd by shouting out that I was very drunk and about to be very sick, causing me to blush even more than I had already. At least I didn't see anyone I knew in the crowd Taylor shoved us through, and quickly enough, the bathroom door was shut behind us.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked, spinning around to scowl at him.

"Probably not," he replied, leaning casually against the bathroom door. "But it got us some privacy, didn't it?"

"Did I say I wanted some privacy?"

"Not with your lips," he replied, stepping closer to me. "But your eyes were screaming it. They were shouting 'Taylor, do me now!' At least, that's how I interpreted it."

"I can see how 'Taylor, fuck off' would sound like that," I replied.

He ran his hand through my hair then tilted my chin up slightly. "You would save us so much time if you would stop fighting this. I know you enjoyed it last time, so what's the big deal?"

"I... I don't know," I admitted, the words trailing off into nothingness as Taylor leaned down and kissed me.

This time, I didn't try to fight him. What was the point, when my body practically turned to mush the second our lips met? No matter what I said, the way my body reacted to Taylor's would contradict my words. As we kissed, I let myself relax against him, allowing him to guide me backward until I bumped into the edge of the sink. Not even pausing to break the kiss, Taylor lifted me up onto the counter, my legs dangling on either side of him as he stood between them.

"You must have known this was going to happen when you decided to wear a dress," Taylor murmured against my neck, his hand creeping up my thigh and finding my panties. I was ashamed to admit that I was already a little wet, a fact that I was sure did not pass him by unnoticed.

"Tay... there are all kinds of... people out there," I gasped out, finding it hard to think with Taylor's lips on my neck and his hand in my panties.

"So?" He asked, sliding my panties down and letting them fall to the floor. "Did you think we just came in here to talk?"

"I don't... I don't know," I replied.

"Well, I _am_ going to be using my tongue, but not for talking," he said, smirking.

I had a guess what he meant by that, and as Taylor fell to his knees in front of me, I knew that my guess was correct. He smirked up at me as he pushed my skirt up, and I blushed even more. That seemed to be a continuing theme of the night, but how could I not blush with Taylor's face that close to _that_ part of me? I could feel his warm breath on my thigh, then directly between my legs. And then... his tongue, the warmest and wettest thing I'd ever felt. This was a brand new experience for me, like nearly everything I'd done with Taylor, and it completely took my breath away.

"Oh, god," I moaned out, throwing my head back.

Taylor chuckled against me, which was an odd feeling, then pulled back slightly and added two fingers alongside his tongue. I could already feel an orgasm building inside of me, from my toes up to the tip of my head, and I had to brace myself against the counter as it coursed through my body.

I was still coming down from that high when Taylor pulled away from me and shoved down his grass skirt and boxer briefs. Somehow, I had managed to forget that he was dressed like a hula girl. When that realization hit me, it took all my strength not to laugh, especially when he leaned in to grab a condom from the cabinet behind me and his coconut bra brushed my arm. If having sex with Taylor Hanson wasn't ridiculous enough, having sex with Taylor Hanson dressed as a hula girl was definitely insane.

Just as he began to roll the condom on, someone banged on the door and a voice called out, "Hurry up in there! There's a line out here, you know!"

"It's my fucking apartment!" Taylor replied just as loudly, sliding into me as he said it.

I had to bite back a laugh at his choice of words and a moan at the feeling of him filling me completely. This was absolutely, completely insane and I had never felt anything so amazing in my life. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and held on tightly as he thrust in and out of me quickly. I was still on the edge of my orgasm, apparently, and huge waves of pleasure rushed over me as Taylor wasted no time working toward his own release.

Taylor shuddered and groaned, letting out a string of curse words followed by my name. I had never heard my name sound so wonderful as it did right then, and I had never thought Taylor was as gorgeous as I did right then, coconut bra and all.

"Shit, Georgie," he said, finally slowing to a stop and leaning his forehead against mine. With a smirk, he asked, "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"Are you always this cheesy?" I asked.

He just smirked more. "Sometimes I'm worse."

As he stepped back and tossed the condom in the trash, I said, "You know, there's just one problem here. How the hell are we going to get out of the bathroom now with that crowd outside?"

"That's your problem, not mine." He shrugged.

"Are you kidding me?" I replied, my mouth falling open.

"Don't worry, I've got it," Taylor replied, chuckling. He pulled his boxers and skirt back up and gave me a quick wink before slipping out the door. From the other side of the door, I heard him shout, "Who's ready to bring out the beer bong?"

I rolled my eyes. At least it seemed to make the crowd shift away from the bathroom, judging by the way the noise seemed to fade away. He was creating a diversion, I supposed. After a few seconds, I peered out of the bathroom and was glad to see that no one was looking my way. I quickly made my escape and scurried off to the kitchen. Somehow, I hadn't even had a single drink yet. How I had done something that insane completely sober, I wasn't entirely sure, but I _was_ sure that I was sober. Still floating down from my cloud of ecstasy, but sober.

Pushing my way through the crowd, I made my way into the kitchen and located a bottle of rum. That would have to do, I decided. I poured a healthy amount of it into a red Solo cup and then added some Coke. It wasn't a fancy drink, but it would do.

"Hey, there you are!" Molly called out just as I took a huge swig of my mixed drink. "Where have you been? Oh, did you find your boyfriend?

"He's not my boyfriend," I choked out, the rum still burning my throat and Molly's words not making me feel any better about what I had just done on Taylor's bathroom counter.

"Sure he isn't," she said, nudging me. "That's why you're sporting some serious sex hair. Did you get leid?"

I rolled my eyes. "That joke wasn't funny the first time."

"The first time?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Nevermind," I replied, remembering that it was Taylor who had made that joke the first time. At that thought, i tilted my head back and took another long swig of my drink.

As soon as I pulled my cup away from my lips, Molly nudged me again. "Come on, why don't you introduce me to this guy?"

"Why don't you introduce me to yours?" I shot back teasingly.

"Oh," she said, looking a little panicked. "Well he isn't here. But apparently yours is."

"No, I... umm, I think he left," I stuttered out. Something caught my eye and I turned to see Zac and Bella walk into the living room. Nodding in their direction, I added, "And I think I'm about to do the same. See ya later." 

"Aww, come on," she said. "Don't let those two losers ruin your night."

"I'm not," I replied, then downed the rest of my drink. "My night is fine. I just don't want to deal with them."

Molly eyed me for a second, then sighed. "Well, if you're leaving, I am, too. But someday, you better introduce me to this mystery man of yours."

"Yeah, maybe someday..." I replied softly, just as Taylor walked back into the room.

"Georgie!" He called out, wiggling his coconut boobs, which I noticed were adorned with a few more leis than had been there earlier. "You're not leaving, are you?"

His words were slurred more than I remembered, too, and I decided it was definitely past time for me to leave. I gave him a little apologetic shrug, then subtly pointed toward Zac and Bella. Taylor couldn't have been more obvious about the way he spun around to see what I was pointing at, his mouth forming a large O when he turned back toward me.

"Yeah, so..." I said. "We're just gonna go. It was, umm, a nice party."

"Yeah...it definitely was," he replied, grinning.

Molly took me by the arm, eyeing me a little bit as if to ask what Taylor meant by that, but I ignored it and lead the way out of Taylor's apartment. Thankfully, Zac didn't seem to notice. The last thing I needed on top of this strange night was to see Zac when I still, apparently, had sex hair courtesy of his brother.

As we walked out of Sitlington, I decided it was high time to swear off college parties.


	14. Turbo

It was official. Taylor Hanson was a horrible influence.

Once I had given in to him again at the party I really couldn't deny that I did want him. I still couldn't stand his personality, and I didn't have any interest at all in dating him, but I did enjoy having sex with him. There was just no point in denying that when it was completely obvious.

Since I couldn't deny it, I couldn't come up with any good reason to stop sleeping with him. So when Taylor began propositioning me and texting me to hook up, I had no reason to turn him down. I hated myself for it each time it happened over the following week, but it became a routine pretty quickly. If Taylor texted and asked me to come over, it wasn't hard to find an excuse to slip away, especially now that I wasn't hanging out with Zac. It was surprisingly easy to keep this thing with Taylor a secret.

Unfortunately, not hanging out with Zac didn't mean not hanging out with Bella. We still had that Harry Potter project to work on, and the due date for our outline was drawing closer and closer. We couldn't avoid each other until the project was done, even though I had definitely tried. Finally, the day before it was due, she nearly banged my door down until I came out and sat down to rewatch the movie with her. If I had it my way, I would have sat there and not spoken a single word to her, but of course Bella was having none of that.

"Georgie," she said, the nickname grating on my nerves when it came from her. "I think we need to talk."

"I think we need to finish this project," I said, staring straight ahead at the screen.

Bella gave an overdramatic sigh. "I'm serious. I know we've had... some problems. And I think we need to talk about it."

"We've had some problems?" I repeated, incredulous, as I turned to face her.

"Well, you know, my relationship with Zac," she said, smiling widely. "I know it's causing problems between the two of you, and I really, really hate that. I _never_ meant to come between you, and I would really like it if we could be friends. If we could all be friends."

"Yeah, okay," I replied half-heartedly. I didn't believe her for a second. There was no apology there, and nothing genuine at all in her words.

"Great!" She replied with far too much enthusiasm. "I know this is just a little bump in the road, no big deal, and we can all get past it. There's no reason for anybody to be upset about this."

Even though her words were sweet, it was obvious that she was telling me I had been stupid to get upset. I knew that was true, because Zac wasn't mine, but it didn't need Bella to remind me. I didn't need her fake attempts to be my friend. I turned back to the tv and angrily began to take notes in my notebook. I was going to get my outline done and I really didn't care what Bella did.

She seemed to at least get the hint that I didn't want to talk to her and so we resumed watching the movie and taking notes in silence. I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said, though, and the more I did, the angrier I became. How was it possible for one person to be that two faced and expect no one to notice? And how _dare_ she expect me to just be friends with her when she was dating my best friend?

Then again, I was doing his brother. Who was I to judge her?

At that thought, I reached for my phone. I hadn't heard it ring or buzz so I knew that there was no message from Taylor waiting for me, but I couldn't help myself. I had become pathetically obsessed with checking for his messages, another fact that I would never admit to him or anyone else. Just as I suspected, there was no new message from him, and I was severely disappointed. If Taylor had messaged, I could use that as some sort of excuse to leave Bella's lovely company.

But he hadn't texted, and no matter how many times I stared at my phone, no text appeared.

Sure, I could have texted him. Somehow, though, I felt better about our whole arrangement if Taylor was the one to contact me. That way, I could pretend that I was reluctantly giving in to him and that I didn't want it just as much as he did. It was silly, I knew, but it still made me feel a little bit better.

At some point, I gave up on him texting and sat my phone down on the coffee table. I had seen the movie and read the book so many times that I felt like I wasn't gaining anything from yet another rewatch, especially with Bella by my side and so many things on my mind. Frustrated, I stood up and walked off to the kitchen, assuring Bella I would be right back. I didn't bother offering to get her a snack, too. I just couldn't manage to be that friendly with her.

I stayed in the kitchen while my mini-pizzas cooked, just to avoid spending any more time with her than absolutely necessary. I could still hear the movie in the next room and the sound of Bella typing on her phone, her long fingernails clicking against the screen. Figures that she would stop paying attention the second I left the room. At least we were being graded independently on this thing, or else I was sure my grade would have suffered horribly. After all, it was due the very next day and my outline was still nothing but some notes in my notebook. I couldn't really blame Bella for that, though; I had procrastinated just as much as she had.

And I was still procrastinating, because I despised spending time with her. Once my pizzas had cooked, I couldn't avoid her any longer. I walked back into the living room with my plate in hand and sat down on the couch.

"Ooh, looks yummy," Bella said.

With a sigh, I asked, "Do you want one?"

"Oh, no," she said, shaking her head. "I've got to watch my diet, with all these parties and things for the sorority. But you go ahead."

There was some sort of insult there, but I wasn't sure what it was. Somehow, I just felt insulted every time Bella spoke to me, no matter what she said.

"Hey," she said just as I was about to take my first bite. "We're okay, right?"

"Yeah," I lied. "We're fine."

We were definitely _not_ fine, but I just didn't have the energy to fight with her, too.

****

Once the movie was finally over, I quickly excused myself and scurried off to my bedroom to type up my notes. We hadn't compared our notes that much, but I really didn't care. I just wanted to get mine typed and printed and go to bed. Once it was turned in, we would have a small break before the first draft of our actual essays were due, and in that break, I planned to spend no time at all with Bella.

It seemed like a perfect plan.

Film and Literature was my first class of the day in the morning, and I wished I could just hand in my outline and skip class entirely, but I knew that I couldn't. I sat on the opposite side of the room from Bella and ignored her entirely as Dr. Marley lectured about special effects or something. I really couldn't focus on her lecture at all. If my life didn't stop being so stupidly dramatic, I had a feeling my grades were going to seriously suffer.

When class finally ended, I wasted no time gathering up my things, shoving them into my bag, and hurrying out of the classroom. I practically sprinted up the stairs, anxious to be away from Bella as quickly as possible. I had nearly made my escape down the hallway when I heard someone calling out my name, but it wasn't Bella.

"Georgie!" Taylor shouted. "Slow down, Turbo."

I rolled my eyes and spun around to see him once again lounging on one of the lecture hall's couches. I wasn't sure how I had managed to walk past him without noticing those stupidly long legs sticking out into the hallway, but I had.

"Where's the fire?" He asked.

"Nowhere," I replied. "I was just... whatever."

"Avoiding someone?" Taylor guessed.

I shrugged. "Maybe. What does it matter to you?"

"It matters because you're avoiding _me_ ," he said, standing up and stepping in closer to me. "What's up with that?"

I stared up at him. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"So you're denying that you turned down my booty call last night?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I am," I replied. "Because I didn't get a booty call from you, so how could I have ignored it? Also, can you say that a little bit louder so everyone at OSU knows we're... you know."

"Fucking?" He offered, grinning. "Relax, Zac isn't around to hear us talking about it. He's the only one who you really don't want to know, right?"

"He's the main one," I said.

"Is he why you turned me down last night?"

"Once again, I have no clue what you're talking about," I replied. "So if you're going to keep being weird, I'm just going to go."

"Well, I guess that's one way to handle keeping this a secret. Just deny it's happening altogether," Taylor said.

I rolled my eyes and turned to leave. "Seriously, Taylor. I have no clue what you're talking about. I'm not denying it, and I'm not ignoring you."

He grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving. "So, are you saying you don't want to stop?"

I stared up at him. There was something weird in his eyes, like he wasn't actually confident in what my answer would be. I didn't think I had ever seen Taylor uncertain of anything in his life, and it was really weird. And strangely sexy. Finally, i shook my head. "No, I don't want to stop."

"Great," he said, his usual confidence coming back as he smiled down at me. "So the next time I text, you won't say no?"

"Still have no clue what you're talking about, but... no. I won't say no."

"Alright, Georgie Girl. See ya later." With that, he finally let go of my arm and allowed me to leave.

Just a few steps down the hallway I stopped in my tracks again, this time because of yet another Hanson brother. Zac. I had been avoiding him at lunch and dinner, and doing a pretty good job of it, so I couldn't even remember the last time I had seen him. I supposed it was Taylor's party, and that realization didn't make me feel any better about seeing him right then.

"Hey," he said awkwardly, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Umm... what were you and Taylor talking about?"

"Umm, nothing," I said a little too quickly. "Just... the party. Why I left early."

"His party?" Zac asked. "I didn't see you there."

I scowled. "No, I guess you didn't. Not that you would have noticed anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means, Zac?" I asked, then sighed. "Nevermind. I don't want to talk about this."

"Seems like you don't want to talk about anything. I haven't seen you in forever."

"I'm surprised you even noticed," I mumbled, then hurried away before Zac could say anything else.

He called out my name, but I didn't stop again. If he was actually trying to imply that he missed me, I didn't believe him. Even if he did miss me, he was still with Bella. I hated that someone like her could end our friendship, but there was just no way I could be around Zac if he was dating her. It didn't help that I was no better than him. Not only was I having sex with Taylor, but I was lying to Zac about it. I didn't even remember the last time I had lied to Zac about anything, aside from one big thing–my crush on him.

Realizing just how big of a thing I was lying to him about now, and how easily that lie had fallen from my lips, didn't make me feel any better at all.


	15. Walking STD

A few days later, I still hadn’t figured out exactly what Taylor’s problem was. I had too much homework to really worry about that, though. We had just gotten our outlines back and were supposed to start working on drafts of all the differences between the book and movie. On top of that, I had tests coming up in two of my gen ed classes. Staying holed up in my dorm room working on all of that seemed preferable to leaving my room and dealing with things like Taylor, Zac and Bella.

Of course, the universe had other plans for me. Plans with a bad tan and short shorts.

“Georgina,” Bella drawled, tapping the door I had stupidly left unlocked and open. “Aren’t we going to work on our drafts together?”

“Aren’t we?” I repeated mockingly.

“You know we’ll get better grades if we work on this together…”

No, I didn’t know that. I knew _she_ would get a better grade if I allowed her to copy my work, and I was certain she knew that, too. She did, after all, have to keep up a certain GPA to get in and stay in the sorority. And unfortunately for me, I was a pushover. It was far easier to just give in and work with her than to fight with her. 

“Okay,” I sighed out. “Let me get my notebook and I’ll come out there. We can work in the living room.”

“Great!” She chirped, clapping her hands.

Once she was gone, I let out a huge groan. Not actually feeling any better after that, I knew I had no choice left but just to gather up my things and go out into the living room. It took a little effort to balance my laptop, cell phone, notebook and copy of Sorcerer’s Stone all in my arms, but I managed. When I finally made it into the living room, Bella was already glued to her laptop, staring mindlessly at the screen while filing her nails.

I could already tell things were off to a great start.

From there, things went roughly as I expected. Bella barely even noticed when I walked into the room, her heavily lined eyes fluttering my way for a split second for they went straight back to her laptop screen. 

“So,” I said, clearing my throat as I sat down on the couch. “I guess we basically need to take the points we put in our outlines and write paragraphs detailing them. Then we fill in later with our analysis of what it means, but basically this draft is just like a big outline.”

“Ugh, it’s so many steps,” Bella whined.

“Well, it’s all to hopefully get us to the best final paper, I guess,” I replied listlessly. 

I had already proven myself a nerd to her, so I really didn’t feel like defending how well structured I thought the assignment was. It wasn’t as though I were trying to hide my nerdiness, but it had made me even more of a pariah in college than it did in high school. Drawing any excess attention to it, especially to someone like Bella, just seemed unwise.

She sighed and made a show of opening her notebook and slamming it down on the coffee table. “Let’s just get this over with, okay?”

I could only reply to that with a little grunt. There was no real need to express my annoyance with her; it wouldn’t make her any less annoying. If anything, I thought it might make her worse. She was just like that. All I could do was just try to get through this one night… then the next… then the one after that… until I finally snapped and killed the bitch.

We worked for what felt like forever, and I wasn’t sure which of us I would kill first, when the door finally opened and gave me a distraction. That distraction came in the form of Molly, who looked… strange. She looked exhausted, really, and I wondered how rough her TA session must have been.

“Oh, Molly,” I said, leaning back to watch her wander around the kitchen in search of a snack. “Just getting back from the TA?”

“No, this is Thursday,” she replied. She looked like she wanted to say more, but made a point of stopping herself.

“Oh,” I replied. “It is, isn’t it? So no TA tonight?”

“No,” she replied curtly, grabbing a banana from the counter and wandering off toward her room without another word.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” I remarked idly, before realizing that I really didn’t want to discuss Molly with Bella.

She just shrugged. “Whatever. She can go where she wants, can’t she?”

“I guess…” I mumbled, then glanced back down at my notes. “We need to get this finished, though.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Bella replied. “I have plans with Zac later.”

Plans? Later? It was already after eight o’clock. I knew that wasn’t _that_ late, but who made plans for any later than that on a weeknight? Even as I thought it, I realized I sounded more like a little old lady than a college student. It wasn’t hard to guess what sort of plans Bella and Zac had for the night, and that thought made me sick. I had already come close enough to seeing them having sex; I didn’t need to picture it, too.

“Yeah, okay,” I practically snapped not looking Bella’s way at all.

“Oh, you aren’t still upset about us dating, are you?” Bella giggled. “I know it was sudden and he really should have told you first, since it’s just so awkward for your roommate to date your best friend, but… honestly, I thought we could get over that little misunderstanding.”

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was supposed to have misunderstood, and I didn’t want to ask. Bella was just so intent on making it into some silly little thing that was all my fault. Maybe it was. As Taylor had pointed out, I had no claim on Zac. Just my crush. Considering the fact that he didn’t even know about that, he couldn’t be expected to act according to it, especially when it was clear that he didn’t feel the same way at all. True, I wasn’t being fair to him, but he wasn’t being fair to me by dating someone I despised. That was a fact, crush or no crush. 

“Oh, honestly, Georgina,” Bella continued, drawling the words. “This is just such a silly little argument. I don’t want you to be mad at me or at Zac just because of this.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t always get what we want,” I replied, not even carrying how bitter I sounded. 

I wondered if Bella knew how true of a statement it was. I wasn’t just talking about her supposed desire to see us all be one big happy family. I was also talking about my desire to be with Zac. Clearly, I wasn’t going to get what I wanted, and as long as she had it, I really didn’t see us being anything but enemies. We would never be friends, and I hated that she kept trying to force it, even while it was obvious she didn’t like anything about me. 

Before I could actually start steaming out my ears from all those thoughts, my phone buzzed and distracted me. I hated how the sound made me jump, especially because I had no doubt who the message was from—and I was right.

_Wanna come over and hang out?_

Taylor, of course. It was fairly subtle, as far as his booty calls went. I still wondered why he thought I had ignored one the other night. I hadn’t even _gotten_ one from him for days. Sometimes he really made no sense at all. Before I could type a reply to him, my phone buzzed again.

_And by hang out, I mean bump uglies_

There was the Taylor I knew and barely tolerated. As annoying as he was, it gave me a pretty good excuse to leave and get far, far away from Bella. Of course, I couldn’t tell her what that excuse was. I struggled to think of some believable lie, anything at all to explain why I needed to cut our little study session short. While I tried to think of a suitable excuse, I sent Taylor a quick reply.

_I’ll be there as soon as I can get away from the walking STD_

I tried not to giggle as I typed it, because I could only imagine Taylor’s response. It didn’t slip by me that I had referred to _him_ as a walking STD on more than one occasion. When I had started to see him differently, I didn’t really know. In fact, I really _didn’t_ see him differently. He was still annoying, obnoxious, self centered and not at all the sort of guy I wanted to date. We didn’t talk or hang out any more than we did before we started having sex. We had only ever been friends because of Zac, and strangely, we had become fuck buddies because of him, too. But that was all we were. Fuck buddies. I certainly didn’t respect him any more than I did before I let him deflower me, as he insisted upon describing it.

Slowly, I realized that I was just staring down at my phone, and even someone as vapid as Bella had to be wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I glanced up at her, my brain turning a million miles a minute as it tried to come up with some reason I needed to leave. Finally, I stuttered out, “Oh, umm. I need to go get some notes for my chemistry test. I mean, I let someone borrow them and I need them back so that I can finish studying, too. And the test is tomorrow, so…”

It wasn’t a lie that I had a chemistry test the next morning. The rest of what I had rambled out was a lie, though, and I could only hope Bella didn’t see through it.

“Oh,” Bella said, blinking. “Well, alright then. Can you at least leave me your notes?”

“Yeah, alright,” I said, grateful that she wasn’t questioning my story. 

With that excuse made almost too easily, I scurried off to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. I felt so stupid for wanting to impress Taylor, but nevertheless, it was how I felt. It wasn’t like he hadn’t already seen me at my worst, from my tomboy childhood all the way through my awkward puberty. And he had never hesitated to poke fun at my looks, although over the last few years, he had started flirting, too. That, I thought, was just an attempt to get under Zac’s skin. Then again, he didn’t seem to mind having sex with me, so maybe he _did_ find me attractive. Still, brushing my hair, swishing a little mouthwash and changing into something other than ratty old pajamas couldn’t hurt.

Once I decided I was presentable enough, I grabbed my keys and headed back out into the living room. I closed my laptop and snatched my cell phone up from where it had fallen on the couch. Bella barely even acknowledged my presence, which was fine by me. As I turned to leave, without bothering to say goodbye to her, the door to Molly’s room opened and she walked out.

“Are you going somewhere?” She asked.

“Umm,” I stuttered out. “Yeah, I need to go get my chemistry notes back from someone.”

Molly gave me a pointed look, then glanced over my shoulder, presumably at Bella. I guessed she must have been paying attention to us, because Molly’s mouth closed just as quickly as it had opened. She was going to ask if I was going to see the guy I had been so vague about, I was sure, but she thought better of it. I was glad, because I didn’t need to give Bella any reason to suspect I had lied to her. 

It would have been bad enough for Molly to know the truth about who I was going to see, but for Bella to know… that would have been absolutely unbearable.


	16. Horizontal Mambo

Just a few minutes later, I had made my way across campus to Taylor’s apartment. It was late enough that I didn’t run into _that_ much other foot traffic, but I still felt like every student I passed knew where I was going. That was silly, of course, but it still felt like a pre-walk of shame in a way. Because of that feeling, I pulled out my phone and texted Taylor that I had arrived even while I was still walking up to the door to Sitlington. I didn’t want to waste a single moment and risk more people seeing me.

I only had to stand outside the door for a moment before Taylor appeared and opened it for me. He gave me a quick once-over that made me feel far less sleazy than it used to, and smiled. "I really like your hair."

"Oh. Thanks.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, so I just stepped under his arm, the one holding the door open for me, and walked on into the building.

"It just looks nice,” he said, walking closely behind me as we made our way down the hall to his apartment.

Still unsure what else to say, and feeling self-conscious again, I replied, "Yeah, well, I grew it myself."

“Oh, Georgie Girl,” Taylor said, chuckling as he stepped ahead of me and kicked open his apartment door. Somehow, he made that move look really slick. 

When had I started to find Taylor slick? Or attractive? The latter wasn’t a huge change; I had always known Taylor was considered the better looking Hanson brother, and I did understand why, even if I always preferred Zac’s looks. But Taylor was almost inhumanly gorgeous. I suppose that was why I had never thought he was hot. He was just so pretty that it made me hate him. 

Now… it made me want him.

“Neil’s gone,” Taylor said once the door had shut behind us. “I mean, he left here earlier with an entire condom factory in his pocket and told me not to worry unless I hadn’t seen him by Monday.”

“Lovely,” I replied, taking a seat on the couch. “What’s your point?”

“My point,” Taylor said, sitting down and sliding in right beside me, his arm over my shoulder, “is that we have all the privacy in the world.”

Given how close to me he was drifting, I had a feeling I knew what he was implying by that. If he was certain that Neil wasn’t coming back, I supposed there was no harm in not being that discrete. We were, after all, in Taylor’s own apartment. Even if our…. thing… couldn’t be totally public, it felt kind of nice to consider the idea of being a little freer about it.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like that idea,” he said, brushing his knuckles across my face and making me smile and blush even more. “I’m glad you managed to get away, by the way. I was starting to feel ignored, you know.”

“I don’t know why, though,” I replied.

“It was just a feeling, I guess,” Taylor shrugged dismissively. “But you wouldn’t blow me off, would you? Not as long as you’re still on the outs with Zac.”

“Can we not talk about him?” I asked softly. 

“I’m sorry, Georgie. But you know the way to really make him jealous would be to just date me. Just go all in.”

I blinked. “That is _never_ going to happen.

"I don't know why you're so against it.” Taylor mumbled, leaning in and brushing his lips against my neck.

Trying not to moan, I asked, "You realize I hate you with a burning passion, right?"

Taylor pulled back and stared at me, wide eyed and grinning. "All the more reason to do it! I mean, that’s why the sex is so great, you know. And what says compatibility more than fantastic sex?"

"Wow. I think I just witnessed the most flawless use of logic in human history," I deadpanned.

“You’re cute, Georgie,” Taylor replied, chuckling. “But you’d be even cuter if you stopped ignoring the reason you’re here.”

“Which is?” I asked attempting to bat my eyelashes. I really didn’t know how to flirt, so I wasn’t sure why I bothered. Taylor hardly even seemed to notice the motion.

“Oh, you know,” he replied, running a hand up my thigh. I hadn’t even noticed his hand was on my leg at all. “For all the talk about dating, you know this is just about sex. So let’s not kid ourselves. Let’s cut the bullshit and get down to the horizontal mambo, hmm?”

“Horizontal mambo?” I repeated. “Really, for someone who gets laid as much as you supposedly do, you can be a real dork.”

“I don’t see you complaining,” he mumbled against my neck. “At least, not about the sex. About everything else about me, yes.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m gonna repeat what you just said-- _stop talking_.”

Taylor just chuckled, which tickled my neck. At least he did finally see fit to do as I said, his lips connecting with my skin again as his hand continued its climb up my thigh, inching further in as it went. I couldn’t believe we were doing this right there on the couch, but I also didn’t really care. The closer Taylor got to touching me, the more I wanted him to and the more I realized I had missed this. It had only been a few days, but apparently my libido had been found and sent into overdrive. I wouldn’t have admitted that to Taylor, since I didn’t want to give him credit for it. Surely I would have had the same insatiable desire no matter who I had finally discovered the joys of sex with. 

But it hadn’t been just anyone. It had been Taylor.

Taylor, who was currently unzipping my jeans and attempting to yank them down my legs. Not feeling any need to deny him or my own desire, I lifted my ass off the couch enough to allow him to pull my jeans farther down until I could kick them off into the floor. Once that was done, I yanked on Taylor’s shirt, and he took the hint, flinging it over his head and across the room. I tried not to stare shamelessly. I mostly failed.

“Why don’t we try something different tonight?” Taylor asked, reaching for the buckle on his own belt. 

I was afraid to even ask what that might have meant, but I guess my face did the asking for me, based on the way Taylor looked at me and laughed.

“Relax, Georgie,” he said soothingly, reaching out to run his hand through my hair and pull me almost into his lap. “Have I steered you wrong yet? Have I done _anything_ that you didn’t like?”

“No,” I replied, averting my eyes. I didn’t know why it embarrassed me so much to admit that I enjoyed sex with Taylor, when it was obvious to him that I did. 

“Then don’t be nervous now,” he said, running his hand under my shirt and inching it upward until I took the hint and raised my arms so that he could pull it over my head. “But if you don’t want to do something or you decide you don’t like it… you just tell me and we’ll stop, alright? We’ll find something you do like.”

I nodded, still not quite daring to meet Taylor’s eyes. He was strangely disarming with the way he talked to me, which was odd, considering how much he had annoyed me over the years. His patience and understanding with my lack of experience was really surprising.

“Have you ever given head?” Taylor asked gently.

Averting my eyes entirely so that I was staring off toward the front door, I nodded. 

Taylor gasped. “Georgie Girl! You told me you were a virgin. Hell, everybody knew you were a virgin.”

“I _was_ ,” I replied, snapping back around to look at Taylor and see if he truly was as surprised as he sounded. The look on his face said he was. My face heating up and surely turning bright red, I continued, “I didn’t say I hadn’t done anything, though. Don’t act like you don’t already know about it.”

“Know about what, sweetheart?” He asked, seeming genuinely confused—but also amused in a way that I did not like at all.

“God, do I really have to spell it out?” I exclaimed. When Taylor only stared at me, I realized that I did. “Zac and I… we… I mean, it only happened once, a long time ago. And we didn’t go all the way.”

Taylor’s mouth fell open in complete shock, and it was then that I realized Zac hadn’t told him. I had just assumed that Zac had gossiped. Why wouldn’t he tell his big brother about his first sexual experience? Taylor had even told _me_ when he lost his virginity. Then again, it hadn’t been the best first time ever, so perhaps Zac had been too embarrassed. He had made me promise we would never do anything like that again because it was “just too weird.” I suppose things that weird weren’t things you shared with your older brother.

And now _I_ had shared it with Taylor.

“Georgie, Georgie, Georgie…” he breathed out, then laughed loudly. “You mean to tell me, the first girl my little brother ever got with was actually _you_? And he still has no clue how you feel?!”

“Apparently not,” I mumbled.

Taylor chuckled. “Georgie, sweetheart, I love my brother, but you deserve better. Smarter, at least.”

“Can we not talk about him right now?” I asked, crossing my arm self-consciously over my bare stomach. At least I still had my bra and panties on.

Taylor chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just… wow. I mean, I was pretty sure you never did all that much with that one little boy—what was his name? James?—but with Zac… wow.”

“Yeah, well, I only ever did _that_ with Zac,” I replied. “And it wasn’t anything to write home about, so can we please not talk about it?”

“Sure,” he said, running his fingers through my hair again, soothingly. “It’s about time to give it another try, though. If you want to stop… stop. But I’m sure anything you do, I’m gonna like.”

“If you say so…” I mumbled. 

Taylor leaned in and gave me a brief peck on the lips. With his hand on the back of my head, he looked me right in the eyes and said, “I promise it will be fine, Georgie Girl.”

Somehow, whether it was the nickname or the kiss, it reassured me and gave me the confidence to make the next move. I slithered as sexily as I could manage off the couch and into the floor in front of Taylor. With a huge grin on his face, he yanked his pants down and I pulled them the rest of the way off into the floor. Taylor pushed his boxer briefs down a bit and pulled out his dick; I was surprised to see that it was already a little hard, considering we hadn’t really done anything. He gave it a few strokes, working it closer to its full length, and I started to feel overwhelmed again. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Taylor said, his voice low and raspy.

I was fairly certain that it wasn’t, but I decided to stop wasting time. I leaned in and placed my hand over his, grasping him loosely. He slid his hand out, leaving only mine, and I tightened my grip a little. Without looking up at him, because I knew I would chicken out if I did, I leaned in further and wrapped my lips around his dick. 

It was warm, and other than a slight salty tang, didn’t taste bad. Strangely, I kind of liked it, and it didn’t take me long to start building up a rhythm, bobbing my head up and down. 

“Mmm, Georgie…” Taylor moaned.

I took that as a good sign, and sped up just a bit. I wasn’t quite coordinated enough to use my hand on him too, so I just let it rest there on that part of him that was too long to fit in my mouth. Judging by the way he continued to moan, Taylor didn’t mind at all. In fact, he really did seem to be enjoying it.

Taylor ran his hand through my hair again, not pushing me down or holding me in place. It just felt reassuring, even comforting. I wasn’t aware those things were in Taylor’s repertoire, but maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. I certainly wouldn’t have guessed that he would have ever enjoyed doing something like this with me, but the way he moaned and even seemed to be shaking said otherwise.

“Georgie,” he gasped out, giving my hair a slight tug. “If you don’t stop soon, this is as far as we’re going to get. And I just don’t think that’s fair, you know, if you don’t get yours, too.”

Breathlessly, I pulled back. I gasped for air as I stared up at Taylor, shocked that he was actually enjoying it _that_ much and had been, apparently, that close to coming. 

“Come on,” Taylor said, pulling his boxers the rest of the way down. “Wallet’s in my jeans pocket, and there’s a condom in it. Grab it and let’s get this show on the road.”

I nodded, reaching for his jeans and searching through his wallet until I did, in fact, find a condom. I tossed it gingerly to Taylor, then turned around to strip off my underwear. There was still something so awkward about watching him roll the condom on, but more awkward by far was watching him watch me.

My face burned bright red as I turned back around and faced Taylor. He just grinned and patted his lap. Awkwardly, I sat down, my legs spread around his. I hovered over him, feeling clueless and immature once again, but Taylor hardly seemed to notice. He just pulled me down and crushed our lips together. The way he kissed me made me forget all of my worries, and distracted me enough that I almost didn’t notice him guiding his dick toward me. 

When he pulled my hips down and closed the gap between us, filling me completely, I gasped out--not in pain, really, but that first moment of penetration was still a surprise every time. It took me a moment to adjust, and Taylor kissed my neck while I did. 

Once I felt a little more comfortable, I gave him a little nod and said, “Okay.”

He knew what I meant, and so he grasped my hips again and began to move me on him. He set a slow, steady rhythm that was easy for me to duplicate and soon everything was great. Everything was perfect. There was just a moment, every time, when things began to feel so good that I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t care that I was with Taylor, of all people. I didn’t care that I was nervous. I just didn’t _care_.

I was so lost in the moment that I barely even heard the doorknob turning or the door opening.


	17. Penis-Driven Feelings

Taylor froze, his eyes as wide as saucers.

My mouth opened to yell at Taylor for being wrong about his roommate being gone all night, but the look on Taylor’s face said that what had actually just happened was worse than that. I didn’t want to look, but I had to know. I was frozen on the spot, though, unable to turn around and face my fears.

“George?” 

It was Zac. 

Of all possibilities, that was the worst one I could have imagined. 

“Oh, dear!” Bella cried out. “We should probably go.”

No, _that_ was the worst possibility. Not just Zac witnessing this, but Zac _and_ Bella.  
I wanted to crawl down into the floor and just vanish into it, but I still couldn’t move. Taylor at least had the presence of mind to grab a blanket that was laying on the back of couch and drape it over us, concealing my body as I finally snapped back to reality and struggled to climb off of him. I was tempted to just bury my face in the back of the couch so that I wouldn’t have to face Zac, but I knew I couldn’t do that. 

The door finally slammed shut behind the two of them as I wiggled around, the blanket pulled tight around my body. I curled into the fetal position, tears starting to burn my eyes. The look on Zac’s face made me feel even worse than I already did. He looked so disappointed in me. He looked how I felt when I discovered him and Bella.

And Bella? Well, she looked strangely pleased.

“Please tell me there’s some explanation for this other than the obvious,” Zac said. 

“Afraid I can’t,” Taylor said softly, hardly a trace of his usual arrogance or sarcasm in his words. 

“What the _actual_ fuck?” Zac screeched. “George? Taylor? Why you would you—with him?!”

I sniffled. “I don’t… I don’t know.”

Taylor didn’t look offended by that, but in a way, he had reason to be. I really didn’t know why I was sleeping with him, other than a desperate desire not to be a virgin anymore. He had suggested it as a way to make Zac jealous, but I hadn’t wanted Zac to know. I wasn’t so sure jealous would be his reaction; I just knew it wouldn’t be good. I had been right.

“Zac, honey, we should really leave them alone,” Bella said, tugging on Zac’s arm.

He shook his head. “They can get dressed, but I need to talk to George. I’m not leaving them alone for longer than it takes them to stop being naked.”

“Why, are you afraid if you turn your head for a second, she’ll trip and fall on my dick again?” Taylor asked, sneering. 

“I’m afraid if I have to think about that again, I’ll barf.”

I rolled my eyes, but in a way, I was glad that for the moment, they were directing their anger at each other, and not at me. As calmly as I could, I said, “If you guys will just go outside for like five minutes. Just let me get dressed, and then we can talk, Zac.”

Zac stared at me for a moment, looking like he wanted to argue, but finally he gave me a curt nod and turned around. He hurried out of the apartment with Bella hot on his heels, and I let out a huge sigh as soon as he was gone.

“Okay, not altogether how we were planning for that to go,” Taylor remarked.

“I’m sorry, _were_ we planning that?” I asked. “Because I was hoping he would never, ever find out.”

“The whole point was to make him jealous, wasn’t it?” Taylor’s brow furrowed. “I mean, you couldn’t very well do that if it stayed a secret. He had to know.”

I stared at Taylor. I didn’t understand his obsession with making Zac jealous. I had felt betrayed by Zac, sure, but I hadn’t wanted to hurt him like that. I had only wanted some outlet for my frustration and anger. Had Taylor really thought all along that it was about making Zac jealous and that it was necessary for him to know?

I shook my head. “No. No, I never wanted him to know, Tay.”

“You know, it’s starting to sound like you’re ashamed of what we did.”

Before I could respond to that, I became aware of a lot of noise coming from outside Taylor’s apartment. Specifically, arguing. More specifically, Zac and Bella arguing. It wasn’t loud enough for me to hear, as much as I wanted to. But what could they have to argue about? 

“Ignore them,” Taylor said, casting a glance at the door. “Focus on me. Or the fact that any minute now, they’re going to walk back in here and you’re just wearing my blanket.”

I glanced down and realized that Taylor was right. Blushing, I held the blanket in place and stood up to start scouring the floor for all my clothes. They had somehow gone all over the place, but I tracked them all down without losing my improvised dress. With all of them in one hand and the blanket clutched in the other, I stared at Taylor until he took the hint and covered his eyes. Still, I hurried to redress because I didn’t trust him to keep his eyes closed. 

“Okay,” I said when I was done. 

I smoothed my hair down while Taylor lazily pulled his boxer briefs and jeans on. He didn’t bother with any more clothes than that, and I wasn’t sure why I expected anything else from him. He had just sat back down on the couch, looking perfectly relaxed, when Zac flung the door open again, barely even bothering to rap on it to warn us.

Zac glanced at me briefly, then directed his attention to Taylor. “You, stay here. I’m going to deal with you later, trust me.”

“Whatever,” Taylor replied, shrugging.

“You,” Zac said, turning to face me. “You’re coming with me.”

It was ridiculous how he thought he could boss me around, but I felt too much shame over what he had seen to express that opinion. I just grabbed my cell phone and keys from where they had fallen and followed Zac out of Tay’s apartment. I noticed that Bella was gone, but I didn’t know what to make of that, and it didn’t seem like the best thing to ask Zac about right then.

He walked a few feet ahead of me and didn’t speak again until we were out of Sitlington. “I can’t fucking believe you, George.” 

“What?” I asked, trying to sound clueless and innocent. “What, exactly, did I do that was so horrible? Am I not allowed to choose who I have sex with?”

He spun around to face me. “Of course you are. But so am I. Yet I seem to recall you getting royally pissed that I chose to be with Bella. If you don’t get how that’s just a little bit hypocritical, then I don’t know what to say.”

I stared back at him, somewhat stunned. I hadn’t thought of it that way. But then, I wasn’t stupid. I knew that in some way, I was stooping to his level by choosing someone so horrible to lose my virginity to. The difference was that he actually saw something in Bella, while my thing with Taylor was just sex. And yet… somehow that made me worse, didn’t it?

“Didn’t think of it that way, did you?” Zac asked, stepping a little closer to me. “But I guess you really didn’t think at all. If you would have, surely you would have realized you’re better than being one of his whores.”

“I’m not—” I cut myself off, because the truth was, that’s exactly what I was.

“What?” Zac asked. “Don’t tell me you’re actually _dating_ him.”

I shook my head. “No. No, it’s just sex.”

“Why would you do that?” Zac asked, his voice softening a little. I realized he really was curious.

“Because I was sick of being a virgin,” I answered honestly. “I hate the stigma of it, and Taylor was there… and I was upset… so it happened. And it kept happening, because why not? Why does it matter?”

“If it doesn’t matter, why did you keep it a secret? Don’t tell me you weren’t ashamed.”

I hung my head. “Because I knew you would be upset.”

“Well, you were right,” he replied, the words spat out with such venom that it was obvious his curiosity was gone and his anger was back.

“But I don’t… I don’t really understand why you’re angry,” I added.

“Because… well because…” Zac stuttered out. “Why wouldn’t I be angry? You lied to me and went behind my back and—”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “I mean, sure, I may have lied about going to see him, but there was never a time that you suspected and I lied right to your face. I know that doesn’t make it much better, but it’s not like you ever told me not to be with him. You act like it’s just like me being mad about you and Bella, but it’s not. Sure, he’s your brother and you guys don’t always get along, but… well, he’s your brother. Bella is not my friend and she never will be. You knew how I felt about her, and you chose to act on some weird, penis-driven feelings you had for her anyway. So you really can’t compare the two situations at all, and that still doesn’t explain why you’re so mad. Be mad that I lied by omission, but don’t be mad that I found somebody who would have sex with me.”

Zac stared at me for a moment, then backed away and put his hands up. “You know what? Forget it. I’m not going to argue about this anymore. You admit you lied, so yeah, you should get why I’m mad.”

“I just don’t know why that makes you _this_ mad,” I replied.

“If you don’t get it… well, I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It just does.”

“Then go be mad,” I said. “You don’t wanna talk about it, then we’re done talking about it. Get out of my face. It’s not gonna hurt me to add one more thing to the list of reasons why I’m not speaking to you right now.”

“Alright,” he said, backing further away. “Consider the subject dropped.”

I nodded, but didn’t speak. My lips were sealed tightly as I watched Zac walk away in the direction of our dorm. I stood on the spot, not really feeling like following him back to Zink.

It wasn’t as though I didn’t realize that Zac had a point. Yeah, I had lied to him, both by choosing not to tell him about my thing with Taylor and by covering _that_ lie with further lies. But he had lied to me about Bella, too. Two wrongs might not have made a right, but they did make Zac the hypocrite for getting mad when I had done the same thing he had done. 

But as I told him, it wasn’t the same at all. Bella was a horrible, horrible person, and Taylor was… well, slightly less horrible. He had always sort of been my friend, because of proximity more than anything else, but Bella had not. Bella was a vapid little bitch. Taylor was also pretty vapid, but he had shown me more consideration during our short lived affair that I thought was possible. He might have had some shallow, manwhore tendencies, but he wasn’t in Bella’s league at all.

Why did I even need to defend him, though? He was Zac’s brother. Zac was usually the one defending him to me. This wasn’t about Zac disliking Taylor. What it was about… I wasn’t entirely sure.


	18. Brain Bleach

Somehow, I managed to sneak back into the suite without waking anyone up or running into anyone who was still awake. Bella’s light was out, which didn’t really tell me whether she was in or not. Either way, I was just glad not to be confronted by anyone after my most shameful walk of shame yet. 

I should have known I wouldn’t get off so easily.

The next morning, I showered and dressed for class quickly, wanting to just get it over with since I hadn’t managed to study as much for the chemistry test as I wanted. I was pretty sure we had some Poptarts that I could scarf down as I walked across campus to class and thus save myself even more time. With that all planned out and all my things gathered, I walked out of my room… and into what looked like a very small intervention.

“Umm, guys?” I asked, glancing back and forth between Molly and Peyton, who were both blocking my path to the kitchen, their arms crossed and their faces deathly serious.

“So, when were you going to tell me your little boyfriend was _Taylor_?” Molly asked.

“I, umm,” I stuttered out. “Wait, how do you know?”

“Well, that confirms it,” Peyton remarked.

“Bella came back here last night yapping even louder than usual on her phone,” Molly explained. “We couldn’t have ignored it even if we had wanted to, and once we heard the names Taylor and Georgina… well, we had to listen. And we learned some pretty interesting things.”

Peyton nodded. “Yeah, like how she and Zac walked in on you and Taylor doing the deed. Eww, it hurts just to say it.”

I crossed my arms defensively, but stared down at the floor. “Look, I just… I mean, you can get why I wouldn’t want to brag about it, right? I’m not proud of myself. I’m really not. But I was just… well, you girls know how mad I was at Zac, and somehow, sleeping with Taylor just seemed like a good outlet for that anger. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how I felt.”

“And lying to us about it?” Molly asked.

“Attempting to avoid this sort of reaction, to be honest,” I mumbled, scratching my head. “I mean, I knew no one would be happy about it. Especially Zac. And I just wanted to avoid all of those awful reactions.”

“Yeah, well, from what Bella said, Zac definitely did not talk it well,” Peyton replied.

“It was insane,” I said. “He was so pissed, but really, is it _that_ bad? I mean, we’re barely even talking right now, and Taylor might be Taylor, but he’s nothing compared to Bella.”

“But he’s still Taylor,” Peyton pointed out. “He’s still the douchey older brother of the guy you claim to be in love with.”

“Claim to be?”

“Well, the fact that you’re sleeping with his brother makes it a little hard to believe you really feel that strongly about him,” she replied.

I shook my head and pushed past the two of them. “I‘m not listening to this. I don’t have to defend myself to you guys, too. Zac I could understand being upset, even if he was way more upset than I expected him to be. But you guys? What does this even matter to you? So I’m going to go fail this chemistry test, and if you’re still all pissy later, we can talk about it then.”

I grabbed a package of Poptarts from the cabinet and hurried away before either of them could say anything else.  
Of course I had known everyone would judge me for sleeping with Taylor, but I really couldn’t handle the level of that judgment. Somehow, it just didn’t seem fair. Why did it really matter to anyone who I slept with? That should have been my business and my business alone. I knew it was our own foolish indescretion that caused them to find out, but I couldn’t help blaming Bella, too. Why would she need to gossip about it? What did she accomplish by yapping about my sex life to whoever she was on the phone with?

Something about that really did not sit right with me, but I couldn’t figure out why. It stayed on my mind all through my chemistry test, which meant my grade was probably even worse than it would have been otherwise, but I still didn’t come up with any sort of explanation for Bella’s actions that made sense.

After I somehow managed to survive the chemistry test, I headed across the campus to the food court. I was a little early, which meant I might not run into any of my friends—although given how I had argued with all of them recently, I wasn’t sure _friends_ was the right word to describe them at the moment. I didn’t even bother looking for any of them before getting in line for a burrito.

“Oh, Georgina!” An annoying voice that I immediately recognized called out.

I wanted to hide, but of course, there was nowhere to hide. Reluctantly, I spun around to face the source of that voice—Bella.

“I just wanted to say that I am _so sorry_ about last night,” she practically cooed. “If I had realized… I mean, of course we didn’t want to just walk in on you guys like that. We were only there to look for my pledge badge. I’m not supposed to ever be seen without it, but it had vanished, and I thought I might have dropped it at Taylor’s apartment. So I feel like it’s all my fault that you and Zac aren’t speaking, and I just feel so bad about it all.”

I stared at her, not really believing that she did feel bad. I remembered the way she had looked almost smug and pleased with herself when they stood in the door looking at us. She didn’t feel sorry at all. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I replied, then turned back to the guy who was putting the toppings on my burrito. “Can you just wrap that up to go, please?”

Bella seemed to get the hint, because she was gone by the time I turned back around, my lunch wrapped up and in a bag. I didn’t have another class until later that afternoon, and I was in a horrible mood, so going straight back to the apartment and hiding in my room seemed like the best idea I’d had in ages. 

By the time I had walked all the way back to Zink, my burrito was cold and I had to stick it in the microwave to warm it back up. While it was warming, the door opened and Molly walked in. She froze on the spot, and I sighed. I knew I had been a little out of line with her earlier, but I hated how everyone was ganging up on me. Yet… I had known it would happen, hadn’t I? Wasn’t that why I had chosen to keep the secret?

“Don’t mind me,” she said, pulling a soda from the refrigerator. “I’ll be gone soon.”

“No,” I replied. “I mean, look… I was kind of a bitch this morning. I knew this was a stupid idea and I knew everyone would be mad. I guess I didn’t think about how much worse it would make it if I lied to them.”

“Well, you should have,” she replied, but her tone had softened some.

I sighed. “Yeah, I get that. It’s just… you know, it’s too late to go back and change that. I just want everyone to forget that they ever knew about it.”

“I didn’t even see it, thank god, but I still don’t think I’ll ever get that mental image out of my head without some serious brain bleach. So forgetting it may not be that easy.”

In spite of myself, I laughed loudly. “Yeah, well, I’m never going to get the mental image of Zac and Bella staring at me and Taylor… well, you know… out of my head. And I think Bella seeing me like that is just as scarring as you having to think about it.”

“You may be right,” Molly replied, giggling. “What were they even doing there?”

“I don’t even know!” I said, then thought for a second. “Actually, you know what? She said something about thinking she had left her pledge badge there. But I thought she wasn’t allowed to ever take that thing off. I don’t know.”

“Her pledge badge?” Molly asked. “You mean the thing that stabbed my ass when I sat down on the couch earlier? That thing was shoved down in the couch cushions.”

I tilted my head to the side. Something about that struck me as odd. Now that I thought about it, she hadn’t been wearing the badge in the food court. But I was certain she had been wearing it the night before. It could have been my imagination distorting my memory, but I was really convinced of it, because that thing was such a big, gaudy mess of pink and glitter that it was pretty hard to forget. Yet she had said that she had gone over to Taylor’s apartment to look for the badge…

“What did I say?” Molly asked. “You’re looking at me like I just grew an extra head.”

“The badge was really wedged in there, huh? Like someone was trying to hide it?”

Molly nodded slowly, but she still looked confused. “Yeah, I guess so… why?”

“Because that badge is supposedly the reason Zac and Bella saw me with Taylor,” I replied. “And it’s the reason I need to call Zac and tell him his girlfriend is a lying bitch.”

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Molly asked.

“No, but it needs to be done,” I replied, digging through my purse for my cell phone.

My burrito all but forgotten, I dialed Zac’s number. Molly threw her hands up in the air and walked away, obviously judging my decision, but I didn’t care. Zac needed to know that his girlfriend had purposefully set this up. 

“Hello?” He answered, sounding annoyed. “I thought we weren’t speaking. So unless you called just to breath heavily down the line… and frankly, that’s a level of creepy I don’t think even Taylor is capable of. Although, you have been spending a lot of time with him…”

“Oh, shut up,” I replied. “I have something important to tell you. Important enough to break the silence.”

“And that is?”

“Your little girlfriend lied to you to set it up so you would find me with Taylor,” I said.

“Why and how would she do that?” Zac asked, and I could just picture him raising his eyebrow in disbelief and judgment.

I didn’t have a good answer for that, I realized. After a moment of awkward silence, I stuttered out, “Well… well, because she doesn’t like me. Obviously. And well… I did leave my phone in the living room after Taylor texted me. She must have read the text. And come to think of it, the other day he said he sent me a text that I never replied to, but I swear I didn’t get it. And I was working with Bella that night, too.”

“None of that is exactly damning evidence,” Zac replied.

“Well,” I said, glad that I had saved the best for last. “Didn’t she tell you she was looking for her pledge badge? I swear she had it on last night, and just now, Molly sat down on the couch and got stabbed by it. It was shoved down in the cushions like someone had done it on purpose. Like, say, to give themselves an excuse to go hunting for it.”

Zac sighed. “You’re still stretching, George. I know you don’t like her, but Bella has never said anything mean about you to me. So I just don’t see why she would have any reason to do anything like that. You want to believe the worst of her. I know you do. But you’re really reaching, and I just don’t buy it.”

“Just because you don’t buy it doesn’t mean she’s not selling it,” I shot back.

“That’s low, George. That’s really low. Although not nearly as low as giving it up to my manwhore of a brother.”

“Whatever,” I replied. “You may not believe me, but I know this is Bella’s fault. She wanted us to fight like this. I’m right. I don’t need you to believe it now, because I’m sure she’ll give you plenty of other chances to realize what a two-faced bitch she is.”

“Right now, she’s not the one I would describe that way,” he said.

“For your own safety, I’m going to hang up now,” I replied, and did just that.

I should have known he wouldn’t believe me, and yet it still hurt that he didn’t. In the end, though, I could only blame myself. If I hadn’t lied to him, he might have had a little more faith in me. There wasn’t a single other time I could think of when Zac hadn’t believed me. 

By sleeping with Taylor, I had ruined everything.


	19. French Girls

For nearly a week, Zac ignored me entirely. OSU’s campus was big enough that if you wanted to avoid someone, even someone who was supposed to be your best friend, you really didn’t have to try very hard to keep from crossing paths with them. Zac was clearly taking the not speaking to each other thing more seriously than I was. 

I knew I had given him plenty of reason to be upset with me, but I had still believed that he would want to know how much of a manipulative liar his girlfriend was. Sure, I had lied to him, too, but my lies had been designed to protect him and spare his feelings. Bella’s lies and manipulations, as far as I could see, were designed to hurt him and to hurt me. 

Yet Zac didn’t care. All he wanted was to be angry with me and be… well… _with_ Bella. 

And so even when I scoured the campus for him, he eluded me. Finally, after what felt like ages without even a brief glimpse of him, I spotted him walking through a crowd in the student center. I sped up to catch him and—

“Hey, Red. Five bucks for a caricature.”

“What?” I asked, blinking at the huge, musclebound figure that had just appeared in front of me. 

It took me a moment to recognize the Kappa Kappa Gamma logo on his shirt, and a moment more to remember that all the fraternities and sororities had to raise money—in the most creative way possible--for some charity during their rush. I assumed the cost of the caricature would go toward some dudebro cause, based on the artist’s looks.

“No thanks,” I finally replied.

“It’s for a good cause,” he said, smirking. “Don’t you want to help cure testicular cancer?”

I scrunched up my nose in disgust. I hadn’t been too far off.

“Hey,” a voice which I immediately recognized as Taylor said. “Why don’t you draw me, huh?”

“Me and Red here were talking,” the guy said. 

“Aww, come on,” Taylor whined. “Draw me like one of your French girls!”

Taylor was still cackling as I drug him away from Mr. Kappa Kappa Gamma, but I wasn’t so amused. Once we were free of his harassment, I said, “You know, if you keep up that kind of shit, people really will think we’re a couple.”

“Oh, Georgie,” Taylor chuckled. “What would you do without me to constantly rescue you from the frat rats?”

“Well, without you, I would probably still be friends with Zac. Just for starters.”

“Don’t try to pin that on me,” Taylor replied, finally yanking his arm free of my grasp. “You made your own choices, and you’re the one Zac is mad at. Well, you’re mostly the one he’s mad at. I did have to listen to this big rant about how I had taken advantage of his innocent little Georgina.”

“I am more than one hundred percent positive that he did not phrase it that way,” I said.

Taylor waved a hand dismissively. “Well, whatever. The sentiment was the same. The real point is, I pissed him off, but you betrayed his trust.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not the only one,” I replied. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Taylor asked.

“Bella set us up. I don’t know how, but I definitely think she looked at your text, because I was dumb enough to leave my phone in the room with her. And she probably deleted the one I swear I never got from you. She told me—and Zac—that she thought she left her pledge badge at your apartment, but I swear she was wearing it while we were studying. And then Molly found it stuffed down in our couch cushions like she was trying to hide it. Of course, none of that evidence is good enough for Zac.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Taylor replied. “It’s hard to think rationally when all the blood that should be in your head is, well… you know. Farther south.”

“Eww.” I scrunched up my nose.

“Oh, whatever,” Taylor said. “You wouldn’t complain if it were you, not Bella, he was getting it on with. Anyway, he’s right over there.”

I felt a sudden urge to hide behind Taylor, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t work out very well. He just chuckled and fiddled around in his pocket until he pulled out his phone.

“Come on,” he said, waving his phone in the air. “I can prove you’re right.”

I wasn’t sure exactly what Taylor was getting at, but I followed him anyway. He shouted out Zac’s name once we were within a few feet, and then there was no choice. I had to face him, even if we weren’t speaking.

“Hey,” Taylor said, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer. “Georgie said you didn’t believe her that your little Texas cowgirl is a lying little bitch.”

“Those may not have been my exact words,” I mumbled.

“Potato, tomato.” Taylor shrugged, then held out his phone to Zac. “See that? Text message, delivered to Georgie. See how that says delivered? Yet… no reply. Not to brag or anything, but nobody—not even your precious little Georgie—can refuse the kind of offer I made her. And anyone with half a brain would find it suspicious that the other time she left her phone alone with Bella, the two of you somehow ended up at my apartment just in time for the show.”

Zac ignored Taylor completely and turned to face me. “I can’t believe you’ve got him fighting your battles now. And you didn’t even hear the way he talked about Bella after we met her.” 

“Isn’t that even more reason to believe him?” I asked. “I mean, you said you didn’t believe me because I was just biased against her. Last time I checked, Taylor wasn’t—she is a girl, after all. Taylor’s type. So unless he really thought she did set us up, why would he ‘fight my battle?’”

Zac stared at me for a moment, then at Taylor. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again. It was clear he had no good response for that, and he couldn’t pretend otherwise. Finally, he rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever. He’s probably just jealous that I got her instead of him. First time that’s happened, isn’t it?”

“I realize you both think I have no standards at all,” Taylor said. “But I do, believe it or not. And I’d rather not sleep with the entire football team, but I might as well if I got anywhere near Bella. She might be hot, but I wouldn’t touch that with a ten and a half foot pole. And by pole, I mean--”

“Yeah, we get the picture,” I cut him off.

Taylor ignored me and plowed on. “Look, the point is, it doesn’t matter whether or not I wanted Bella, too. I can’t believe I’m having to actually explain to you that your friendship with Georgie should mean way more to you than some tail. I don’t care _how_ good she is. You really think someone like that is gonna stick around forever?”

“I think it’s none of your business,” Zac replied. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go eat lunch. With my girlfriend. Not my slutty brother or my two-faced best friend.”

As we watched him walk away, Taylor remarked, “At least he still called you his best friend.”

“Out of everything that juts happened, _that’s_ your takeaway?”

Taylor just shrugged. “It could have gone worse.”

“Give me one example of how,” I shot back.

“I can’t be expected to think that much until I’ve eaten lunch,” Taylor said. “Come on. I’m buying.”

As I followed him on into the food court, I didn’t bother pointing out that neither of us was buying, since we would be using our student meal plans. When Zac was _still_ being such an asshole to me, that point hardly even seemed worth arguing.

The rest of the student center was just as crammed with students as the entryway where I had encountered the Kappa Kappa Gamma guy. All sorts of charity endeavors were set up, each one more ridiculous than the last. At times, I really felt sorry for all these pledges being forced to do stupid things and embarrass themselves, but then I remembered that they had volunteered for it. They _wanted_ to do those things. And then I felt no sympathy whatsoever… much like how I felt about Zac right then.

The biggest crowd seemed to be gathered around some sort of booth. I was too short to see the sign, but Taylor craned his neck and let out a whistle. Just as he did, the crowd came to a complete stop and I realized that we were somehow, right next to Zac again. 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Kissing booth,” Zac said, still sounding annoyed with me.

“Speaking of French girls…” Taylor mumbled.

“But would you actually _want_ to french any of them?” I asked.

Zac crossed his arms and scowled. “It’s the Tri Delta booth. They’re raising money for autism awareness.”

“And you are the most trusting boyfriend ever,” Taylor said. “And by trusting, I mean a total fucking idiot.”

“Will you lay off?” Zac scowled. “I think you’ve both established that you don’t trust Bella, but I do. She hasn’t given me any reason not to, and your attempts to convince me that she’s lying aren’t working, so until _she_ actually gives me any reason not to take her at her word, I’m—“

Zac didn’t get to finish his sentence, because right at that moment the crowd around us parted and revealed the kissing booth. Behind all the pink and glitter was none other than Bella. It was hard to tell with her glossy brown curls in the way, but it didn’t look like she was kissing the guy’s cheek. The way she touched his arm and giggled looked like the same sort of flirtation she directed toward Zac. I wasn’t sure if that meant she was being genuine with this random guy or fake with Zac, but either way, it didn’t look good for my so-called best friend.

Zac didn’t look good, either. His face had turned bright red and his mouth was set in a tight line. I knew he still had too much pride to go back on what he had just said, but it was obvious that even if he didn’t say it, how he felt about Bella had just changed in a big way.

“Save it,” he said, holding a hand up. 

“I didn’t say a word,” Taylor replied, then turned to me. “Did you say a word, Georgie?”

I shook my head. “Not a damn word.”

“Well, keep it that way,” Zac said, then stormed off. 

I had suspected—almost hoped—that he would go over and confront Bella, but he didn’t. Instead, he walked the other way, right back out of the student center, and I watched him go, somewhat disappointed that I didn’t get to watch his relationship explode in his face. 

That was awful of me. I knew that was awful of me. Yet it was how I felt.

“Wipe that shit eating grin off your face,” Taylor said. “He hasn’t left the bitch yet.”

“Do you think he will?” I asked, sounding a little more hopeful than I intended.

Taylor shrugged. “If he can stop thinking with his dick, he might. But honestly, that dumbass who just walked out of here? I don’t know that guy. I don’t know _what_ he’s thinking.”

“Neither I do,” I said. Softly, I added, “I just want my Zac back. And I know he wasn’t _mine_ , but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tay said, then pulled me closer to him. “He’ll come back… eventually.”

As I leaned against Taylor, I could only hope that he was right.


	20. Bras and Makeup

I was always a little envious of people who had fun things to do during breaks. There were Fall Break trips off campus I could have signed up for, but thanks to everything that had happened over the last week, I was just too exhausted to care about doing anything, no matter how fun it might be. All I really wanted this year was to go home, sleep and avoid any and all boys with the last name Hanson.

Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly pleasant and by Saturday night my parents almost seemed to have gotten the message. Almost.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t want to come down for dinner?” My mom asked, rapping gently on my bedroom door.

“I’m sure,” I replied. I had sneaked downstairs and grabbed a giant bag of Chex Mix and a Coke Zero, so I was pretty much set to feel sorry for myself, eat my feelings and watch Doctor Who all night. I didn’t really care that I was being antisocial; of all people, my family should have been used to that by now.

Several minutes later, there was another knock at the door. This time it was my brother Daniel, who had apparently come home for dinner. Even though he was supposedly a grown up with a real name job teaching Spanish and coaching soccer at Nathan Hale, he spent more time at our parents house than he did at his apartment—either because he needed laundry done or because he had burned whatever he tried cook.

“Georgina, you know that band you like is playing a show downtown tonight,” he said.

“Which band?” I replied skeptically.

Daniel poked his head in the door. “I don’t know; I took a chance. There’s always somebody playing at the Vanguard or the Hunt Club. And you skipped dinner, so…”

“So mom sent you up here to check on me.”

“Bingo.”

I rolled my eyes. “Tell her I think I caught a bug on campus or something. She’ll worry, but she’ll believe it.”

“But it’s not true?”

“No offense, but I don’t really wanna have girl talk with my older brother,” I replied. 

He help his hands up and backed away from my door. “Say no more. I will gladly lie to mom if it means I don’t have to hear your problems with bras and makeup or whatever.”

I rolled my eyes, but Daniel was already gone. If there was one way to get my brother to leave me alone, it was to mention girl stuff. I learned that lesson when he decided to start badgering me about my crush on Zac—yes, even Daniel knew—while I was trying to get ready for school one morning. An un-used, still wrapped tampon flicked at his face shut him up even faster than I could have hoped. 

At least I didn’t have to take such drastic measures this time. I even had a full twenty minutes of privacy before someone else knocked on my door. I assumed it was Mom again, because I really didn’t think she would send Dad up to try to reason with me. When the door swung open and revealed Zac, I realized there was an even worse option than an awkward heart to heart with my Dad.

“Of course my mom let you in,” I said, glaring at him. “She likes you better than she likes me, I think.”

“Well, I actually ate a plate of leftovers, even though I had dinner at my own house, but you won’t even show your face in the kitchen.”

Another glare. “Why are you here?”

He stepped into my room, letting the door shut behind him, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. With a sigh, he said, “Well, I haven’t talked to you for a few days. And I know a lot of that is my fault, because I got really pissed about you and Taylor. Still not really over that, by the way. But I figure I kinda owe you an apology, so… if I can humble myself enough to do that, I figure we can work through the Tay thing, too.”

“You’re not gonna quit bringing up the Taylor thing, are you?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Not until that image stops being seared into my brain. I mean, really. Lying to me about it—and yes, hiding it is the same as lying—is bad enough. But I had to _see_ it, George. How would you feel if you had walked in and seen—“

I held my hand up to shut him up. “Don’t even say it. I don’t want to think about it. But what’s this apology of which you speak?”

“Well,” he said, looking down but stepping in a little closer to my bed. “You know, the whole kissing booth thing. I talked to Bella about it. At least, I tried to. But she didn’t seem to see any reason at all why I would be upset—not even the fact that she promised me she wasn’t going to be one of the kissers. So, you know, she lied to me, too. Only I was actually dating her. And you being my best friend means more to me in a lot of ways, but it doesn’t mean that I can expect you not to have sex with whoever you want to have sex with. Even my STD-riddled brother, although god knows _what_ you see in him.”

“It’s not like that,” I replied. “I mean, I’m not dating him or anything. I just wanted to stop being the weird girl who’s still a virgin, okay? And who better to help me solve that problem? It’s not like I planed it that way, but… well, it happened. I can’t undo it. But I am sorry you found out that way.”

Zac sat down on the edge of my bed. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you about Bella. You were right, okay? I should have known.”

“Yes,” I said, a smile spreading across my face. “You should have. When am I ever wrong, especially when it comes to the bitches you date?”

“I wouldn’t really put it that way, but… I guess you were right this time,” Zac replied. He turned his head to the tv and saw that it was on BBCA. Scooting closer to me and sitting back against the headboard, he said, “Ooh, there’s a Doctor Who marathon on, isn’t there?”

“Have a seat. Let’s watch it together,” I deadpanned.

Zac wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Aww, come on, George. Do you have any better plans than hanging out with me? Because I can’t think of anything better than hanging out with my BFF.”

I sighed. “Well, when you put it that way…”

He knew I would give in. He knew it. Zac was my weak spot, and whether he fully understood why or not, he knew it and he took advantage of it. And I would let him. As he made himself comfortable on my bed, I handed him the Chex Mix. He smiled, and I melted.

I was hopeless. I was completely and totally hopeless.

****

After our apologies, Zac and I were mostly back to normal. We drove back to campus together—at least, in a very short caravan--the next day, stopping at the same gas station for lunch. We took our time going back, because it occurred to us over lunch just how awkward it would be to see Bella again. When we realized that, we decided to stay in the gas station McDonalds for as long as possible. At some point, the workers started to give us strange looks, and so we went on.

It still ended up being just after dinner time when we got back to campus. At Zac’s suggestion, we left our stuff in our cars to unpack later, and just took his truck to Taco Bueno to get something for dinner instead of going into the food court on campus. Once our arms were loaded down with bags of food and drink holders, we didn’t really have much of an excuse to stay away. 

It was something of a peace offering, really. We had bought far more than just the two of us could eat, but we knew my roommates couldn’t resist whatever was left over. Our fighting had created a huge rift in the group that probably wouldn’t be easy to repair, but queso could certainly go a long way toward fixing it. Sure enough, as soon as we walked into the suite with the food, Molly and Peyton’s doors swung open. It was the perfect sitcom moment, and we were both laughing too loudly at it to even explain to them what we found so funny.

“Nevermind,” Zac said, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “Help yourselves. And, umm, I guess we—or at least I—wanted to apologize. I’ve been an idiot lately, and I know it really screwed up our whole group thing. Hard to have our normal game nights when George and I aren’t even speaking.”

“But we’re good now,” I said, although I did doubt just how good we were. “And I’m sorry I hid the whole Taylor thing from everyone.”

It wasn’t like I had promised to stop sleeping with Taylor or anything. I hadn’t really thought about it and Zac hadn’t asked. Obviously he didn’t want me to, and I wasn’t sure if it was even a good idea to keep up the friends with benefits thing. But would I stop just because Zac didn’t like it? I didn’t have an answer for that. I supposed I should have, but I wasn’t sure if that was enough to really stop me. 

I cleared my throat. “Anyway, where’s the bitch? Not a Taco Bueno fan? What a shame.”

“I dunno,” Molly replied, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her all day. I don’t think she’s been around at all. And I am not complaining.”

“Me either,” Zac said, pulling a few nachos out of a bag and crunching on them. “I, umm, I broke up with her. If that wasn’t obvious.”

Peyton clasped her hands together as if in prayer, glanced up at the ceiling and mouthed the words _thank you_.

“You don’t even believe in God,” I pointed out.

She shrugged. “Zac finally seeing the light and leaving her just might be enough to convince me.”

“As much as I think you having a religious conversion is a big deal, I don’t think it’s worth dating someone like her again,” Zac said. 

We all laughed at that, and with the mood sufficiently lightened, we gathered up the food and headed to the living room. Things might not have been totally normal between us four, and I supposed they never really would be again, but we were a lot closer to the happy group we had been. While we ate, we talked about anything and everything but Bella—from our classes to potential plans for Zac’s birthday later in the week. 

Things were going really well…until the door opened.

It was Bella, of course, and she seemed to be glowing. I certainly wouldn’t have looked so happy if I had just lost Zac; I had a hard enough time losing him as a friend temporarily. But Bella was beaming. I glanced at Zac, and to my relief, he ddn’t scoot self-consciously away from me the way he had every other time Bella had seen us together. At least that was a step in the right direction. 

“Guys,” Bella said, then waved her hands around. “Well, girls. And guy. Whatever. I have some big, big news.”

We all stared at her. I, for one, was wondering what news she could possibly have that she thought we would care about and share in her happiness. When none of us responded at all, she just carried on, practically bouncing up and down as she made her announcement.

“I’m officially a Tri Delta!”

If Zac’s announcement was enough for Peyton to have a religious conversion, this was a religious moment for me. Bella being an official member of the sorority meant she would have to move into their house. We were free. We were finally free.


	21. Surgeon General's Warning

Sure enough, Bella was out of the suite by the end of the next day. We all volunteered to help her pack—except for Zac, of course. He kept his distance, which I felt was probably at least partially to prove to me that he really wasn’t with her or interested in her anymore. In that sense, it was overkill, but I appreciated the thought.

And Bella? Well, she was clueless as to why we all wanted to help her. I’m sure she thought we were just being nice. What she didn’t realize, though, was just how happy we were to see her leave. She ought to have been smart enough to realize that, but I really don’t think she was. Sometimes, I was convinced that some people were just so two-faced that they didn’t even realize it anymore. They could treat you like shit, get found out, then turn around and be so nice to you and not understand why you didn’t trust their niceness. Bella was a textbook example of that sort of person.

But she was gone, never to critique my looks or fuck my best friend again.

We were all so happy to have her gone, in fact, that our game night Wednesday was partially a party to celebrate being Bella-free. It was also technically Zac’s birthday, although we had already decided to save most of our celebrating for the weekend, when Taylor had planned to throw him a party in his apartment. Since it was his birthday, we let Zac choose the game—Cards Against Humanity.

“So, will they move someone else in now that Bella is gone?” Elijah asked.

“I hope not,” I replied. “It’s halfway through the semester. Anybody who has problems with their roommate has probably already figured it out and switched with somebody else. Maybe a transfer, but again, it’s pretty late in the semester.”

“Don’t jinx us,” Peyton said, pointing a finger at me. “We thought there couldn’t be a roommate worse than Sharon. I think Bella proved that wrong.”

“Sharon?” Elijah asked.

“You know,” Peyton said. “That girl I got stuck with last fall. Went to bed at eight pm every night, even Friday and Saturday, and woke up screaming if I so much as typed too loudly after that. But she could stomp around while she got ready for her morning run at six am. Because that didn’t wake me up or anything.”

“Yikes,” Elijah replied, then glanced around at the rest of us. “Remind me not to piss her off. Somebody holds a grudge.”

I chuckled. “Well, anyway, we’re free of Bella and hopefully we won’t get anyone else. Speaking of grudges, I guess.”

“You know, she was a bitch. I’m not denying that,” Zac said. “But I did also recently break up with her, so can we just… not talk about her so much?”

Elijah nudged him. “It’s cool. We’ll get you shitfaced at your party and you’ll forget her completely. Maybe you’ll even manage to get laid!”

I coughed and sputtered a little, not feeling like pointing out that Zac had been getting laid. I really, really didn’t need to think about that. Based on the way Zac blushed and scowled at the same time, I didn’t think he wanted the reminder either.

“I don’t know why you’re letting Taylor throw you a party,” Molly cut in, finally handing over her answer card to Zac. “I mean, are you going to know anyone there? Besides us. And if it weren’t your birthday, I really don’t know if any us would bother going to one of his parties again.”

As Molly leaned across the coffee table, her hair fell back and I saw a spot on her neck that looked suspiciously like a hickie. I opened my mouth to point it out, but I was cut off by Zac.

“Well, why not?” He asked. “Sure, there will be a lot of people there who I don’t know, but there will also be a lot of alcohol.”

“I feel like Taylor’s parties should come with a Surgeon General’s warning,” Peyton said. “If not for the alcohol poisoning, then for the STDs you could probably pick up from touching any surface in that apartment.”

I shuddered at the thought… then remembered that they were all talking about the guy I had just been caught fucking. That kind of ruined the joke for me, and the fact that everyone was staring at me only made it worse. 

I tried to laugh off my discomfort. “Can I declare a moratorium on mocking Taylor, too? If we can ban Bella talk, and none of us even like her, surely we can lay off Taylor.”

“Is ‘lay off’ really the phrase you want to use there? Really?” Zac asked.

My mouth fell open in shock that he would even joke about the situation at all. There was a little bit of an edge to his words, though. I wasn’t so sure it really _was_ a joke. For a moment, we just stared at each other, like we were daring each other to say something else. Finally, I shook my head and looked away.

“Whatever,” I said. “I think we should have a little get together here first, though. Do the cake and the normal birthday party stuff. Then we can go get trashed with Taylor or whatever.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Zac said, then grinned and added, “You can all just bring your presents here.”

“I love how you’re just assuming we all bought you something,” Peyton replied.

“Well, maybe not the rest of you worthless assholes, but Georgie always gets me the _best_ presents.”

I caught Elijah making smoochy faces at us, and I tried really hard not to roll my eyes. What Zac had said didn’t really imply anything. He was right; I did always put a lot of thought into his birthday presents. Except for this year. We had barely even been speaking for the past few weeks, so his birthday had been the absolute last thing on my mind. I was going to have to sneak out after class and buy him something really good.

But Elijah’s point… well, I didn’t think he had one. Zac had a point. The fact that I bought him great presents didn’t mean anything, and the fact that he appreciated them didn’t mean anything either. I bought everyone great presents, but of course I did my best for my best friend. I was really getting sick of Elijah acting like everything Zac and I did was proof that my feelings for him were reciprocated. I just didn’t see it at all.

A quick glance around the room revealed that everyone else seemed to agree with Elijah, though. Everyone but Zac, who had gone right back to the game as though he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary. And to me, he hadn’t.

“What makes you think I bought you anything either?” I said teasingly, even though it was the truth. He didn’t need to know that.

Zac nudged me. “Oh, please. I know you better than that.”

Did he? Until recently, I would have said that we knew each other pretty well. But I hadn’t thought Zac was capable of actually liking and wanting to date someone like Bella. And I’m sure Zac wouldn’t have thought I was capable of, as he would have put it, doing the horizontal mambo with Taylor. But Zac also didn’t know about my crush on him. So how well _did_ we really know each other? Maybe not at all.

“Yeah,” I replied, laughing nervously. “You keep telling yourself that.”

Thankfully, the subject was dropped soon after that and we finished our game without any further incident. It was, after all, a week night and we were all big dorks, so we didn’t stay up all hours of the night playing our games. Before it got too ridiculously late, we called it a night and the boys left. 

The three of us girls went our separate ways to get ready for bed, too. It felt so, so good to have a bathroom all to myself. I did feel a little guilty, since Molly and Peyton still had to share, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that. Mostly, I was just glad that I didn’t have to share with Bella. Even if she hadn’t been trying to get in the middle of my friendship with Zac, she was still just a bitch whose very existence made me feel inferior. Not seeing all of her beauty products, which she didn’t even need except to go from naturally gorgeous to fucking perfect Barbie Doll, littering the bathroom was more of a relief than I had the words to explain.

Once I had showered, dried my hair and put my pajamas on, I padded back to the kitchen to get a glass of water to wash down my pill. Until recently, I had felt kind of silly being on birth control, since any kid I conceived would be the second coming, but at least now I could say I had a reason other than my awful periods to bother with it.

I was standing at the sink when I heard footsteps approaching, and I spun around quickly to see who it was. Of course it had to be Molly or Peyton, but weeks of living with Bella obviously still had me on edge even in my own suite. 

“Oh,” I said, when I realized it was Molly. “I thought I was the only person still awake.”

“I just got up to get a drink of water,” she said, nudging me aside gently to get a glass from the dish drainer. With her that close to me and her hair pulled back in a messy bun to sleep in, I could see the spot on her neck more clearly. I had almost forgotten about it earlier, but it was staring me in the face right then.

“Umm, Molly?” I asked. “This is a ridiculous question, but is that… a hickie on your neck?”

“What?” She gasped out, and I almost believed that she really didn’t know what it was until she fumbled around and managed to cover it entirely with her hand, in spite of supposedly not knowing where it was or even that it was there at all. “N-no, I think I… I burned myself with my flat iron.”

I eyed her critically. “Look, I’m not going to ask who gave it to you. Mostly because I don’t feel the need to be hassled about my own sexual choices lately… again. But I just wanna know if my BFF is getting any—and I don’t mean Zac. I know way too much about his sex life already.”

“You’re just bitter because you’re not a part of his sex life,” Molly teased. Blushing a little, she added, “Look, I don’t know if I could calling it _getting any_. That sounds so sleazy. But I guess… I don’t know. I’ve been hanging out with the guy I told you about a little more.”

“I bet you have been.” I nudged her playfully. “I just don’t get why you won’t tell me who he is. Unless it’s for the same reason I didn’t want to tell you about Taylor. Oh my god, you’re doing Taylor!”

“I am not!” Molly squealed, giggling. “It’s just, you know, we’re not ready to go public or whatever. I don’t wanna complicate things. I like it being just between me and him.”

“That makes sense, I guess. I mean, god knows people finding out complicated things with Taylor. Not that there are things—it’s just sex, I swear. And I don’t even know how that makes it better, but it does.”

“Probably because while the idea of Taylor having sex with anyone is—no offense—really disgusting, it’s at least believable. But the thought of Taylor dating someone? Having feelings for someone that don’t originate in his underwear? The world might as well end right then and there.”

I giggled, but Molly was right. She was so right. I wasn’t totally sure that Zac understood that distinction. Maybe he just didn’t care, and the thought of me being with Taylor was going to bother him no matter what. At least Bella’s indiscretion had given him a reason to apologize to me and try to get over the Taylor thing.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a step in the right direction. Just about four million more steps left before he realized I was in love with him, I supposed.


	22. Falling Into Bed Drunk

“I can’t believe you’re really going through with this,” Molly said, setting her curling iron down on my desk. 

She had just finished fixing my hair for me, since I wasn’t very good at it and she was the only person I trusted to understand my plan for Zac’s birthday. After picking up a set of Star wars parody books that I thought he would really love, I found myself wandering around the mall until I ended up in one of those girly stores full of mini skirts and stuff. It all reminded me of Bella, but it made me think—if Zac really was attracted to her looks, what would he ever see in me? I decided it wouldn’t hurt to dress up a little more than I usually did for his birthday. Maybe then he would actually see me as a girl worthy of being desired. 

I stood up, straightened out my snug fitting dress, and glared at Molly. “Yes, I’m sure. If this doesn’t make him notice me, nothing will.”

“I think everybody is going to notice you,” Molly mumbled.

“Fine by me,” I replied, stepping in front of my mirror to see just how I looked.

The dress was short and tight, covered in gold and silver sequins, with spaghetti straps and a nearly backless design. I had bought gold pumps to go with it, and I could almost stand in them without my legs wobbling. My hair was in soft curls thanks to Molly, and my makeup was heavier than I usually wore it—although not nearly as heavy as Bella had done it. Still, I thought she would approve of the dark lashes and tingly plumping lip gloss I’d bought just the occasion. 

There was a loud knock at the suite door, and my heart leapt. I glanced back at Molly and shrugged. “Well, even if I wanted to change, it’s too late now. You go first, okay?”

“If you insist,” she replied with a shrug of her own and walked out of my bedroom.

I waited for a moment, listening at the door as she greeted Zac and someone who sounded like Elijah. Finally, I picked up Zac’s present, took a deep breath, and opened my bedroom door.

Zac spun around to face me, and his eyes grew comically large. I knew I looked different, but I hadn’t expected such an immediate reaction. I tried to look a little sheepish as I smiled and held his present out; I didn’t want him to know how pleased I was that he seemed to like my transformation.

“Are you—I mean, is this my birthday present?” He breathed out, stepping in closer to me.

“I, umm, yeah,” I said, holding out the package awkwardly. 

He ripped into the package, hardly taking his eyes off me until it was open. When he did, his eyes grew even wider and he scooped me up into a tight hug. “See, I knew you would get me the best present!”

I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the books or my dress, but I really didn’t care.

Either way, Zac didn’t seem nearly as impressed by the rest of his presents, even though they were along the same geeky lines as mine. He didn’t get that excited again until Peyton brought out the cupcakes and somehow managed to squeeze twenty candles onto one of them. 

Once he’d blown out the candles and we had all eaten a cupcake, we headed across campus for the less geeky part of the celebration. I doubted any of the crowd that seemed to fill the entire first floor of Sitlington even realized what the party was really about; few of them probably even knew Zac. They were just there because Taylor Hanson had invited them. But as Elijah had pointed out, there was alcohol. We were all still under twenty-one, so we didn’t have a lot of options for partying. Luckily for us, Taylor had no problem supplying to minors.

Sure enough, he was in his element when we walked in, showing off his mixing skills for a bunch of skinny blondes who looked like they were probably cheerleaders. When we walked in, all of his attention was diverted away from them—and onto my chest. Maybe Molly had been right about my dress. Then again, unlike his brother, Taylor seemed to have already noticed that I was a woman. 

“Georgie Girl,” Taylor breathed out, drawing the nickname out so much that it almost sounded obscene. “What _happened_ to you?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “What? I’m not allowed to dress like a girl?”

“Never let it be said that I complained about you wearing less clothes than usual,” Taylor replied, handing me a drink I was fairly certain was intended for one of the blondes.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Zac said, backing away quickly.

I glared at Taylor. “Can you not say stuff like that in front of him?”

“What?” Taylor feigned innocence. Lowering his voice, although the blondes had already lost interest and wandered away, he added, “Look, he’s gonna have a stick up his ass about this. Of course he is. He gets all pissy even when I just flirt with you, even before you gave in to my propositions. You just gotta ignore him.”

I crossed my arms and huffed. “It’s not that simple.”

“Oh, quit pouting,” Taylor said, nudging my hand up until the cup he’d handed me touched my lips. “Have a few drinks. Relax. Try to have fun.”

“Once again, easier said than done,” I replied, but took a sip from the cup anyway. It wasn’t bad; Taylor really was pretty good at mixing. Considering how bad his grades were, bartending was probably in his future anyway. Whatever it was that he had mixed together, it just tasted like Skittles. I couldn’t tell there was alcohol in it at all, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long before I felt it.

The party was so bustling and so full of people I didn’t even know at all that I had little to do but just lean against the kitchen counter and drink my drink. When my cup ran empty, it seemed Taylor was always there to fill it back up, until I wasn’t leaning against the counter to look cool but to keep myself from falling over. 

Eventually, I decided to join the rest of the party. I had gotten myself all dolled up in shoes that would probably break my ankles before the night was over, but they weren’t doing me any good just standing in one spot. Even if things were still a little awkward between me and Zac, he obviously appreciated the effort I had put into my outfit, so why not put the same effort into socializing?

With that thought in mind, I tried to steady myself as much as possible, which wasn’t easy in those heels and with all that vodka in me, and walked out into the living room. Most of the furniture had been pushed against the walls to make a small dance floor and allow room for the beer pong table. Even in my inebriated state, it only took me seconds to locate Zac at said beer pong table, holding some tall blonde’s arm and helping her with what I was sure wasn’t a very complicated game. Between the way she was giggling and the stupid grin on his face, I thought I was going to be sick—and I didn’t think it was because of all the alcohol I’d had. 

Why did I think Zac would ever want me? I could dress myself up all I wanted but I would never be that type of girl. He could obviously see right through the stupid dress and makeup and knew that deep down I was nothing special. But Barbie over there… no matter how fake certain parts of her anatomy might have looked, she was still more of a hot chick than I would ever be. So why did I think I could even try?

I scurried, as much as I could in heels and a skin tight dress, out of the room without waiting to see if Zac even noticed me. I ducked into the little alcove by Taylor’s bedroom door, although I decided to stay out of his bedroom. As upset as I was, I didn’t think it was a good idea to give him any reason to think I wanted sex. I really, really wasn’t in the mood. 

After a moment, the room started to spin and I leaned my head against the wall to steady myself. If I focused on the dizziness, I could keep myself from crying, at least.

“George?” A voice called, and it took me a second to even realize it was Zac. I was even drunker than I had previously thought, I supposed, if I didn’t immediately recognize the object of my unrequited affections.

“Last time I checked,” I mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, standing in front of me and brushing my hair back so I was forced to look at him. “Not having fun?”

“Not as much as you seemed to be,” I said before I could stop myself.

“What, playing beer bong with that brainless chick?” He asked. “I mean, she was hot, sure. But I said something about racking and she thought I was talking about her boobs.”

In spite of myself, I laughed.

“Come on, George,” he said softly. “You know this isn’t the kind of birthday party I wanted. But Taylor cannot be reasoned with.”

“You can say that again,” I mumbled. 

“But hey,” he said, stepping in a little closer to me and running his fingers through my hair again. “It was worth it to see you all dressed up for the first time in like ever. I mean, besides prom.”

I glanced down and blushed. “Yeah, well. I just thought I would try something different.”

“For me?” Zac asked.

“I… I guess you could say that,” I replied.

“Well, if you _were_ trying to impress me… it worked.”

There was something strange about his voice, a low, husky tone to it that was totally unfamiliar to me. It made me tingle from head to toe. Although I was a little afraid of what I might see on his face, I raised my eyes slowly… and was surprised to find Zac even closer to me than I had realized, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned in.

And kissed me.

He tasted like beer and he was a little too sloppy, but who was I to complain? The last time Zac had kissed me, neither of us had known what we were doing, and I was worried that French kissing would always feel kind of gross. While he might have been a little overeager, practically slamming me back against the wall, I still moaned when his tongue pushed past my lips. 

Sure, I was drunk and so was he. Who cares? There was still no denying that Zac was kissing me. His hands crept onto my hips, pulling our bodies even closer still, and if I hadn’t known better—although I was beginning to doubt everything I had ever known—I would have thought that I felt something poking me through his jeans. 

All too soon, he pulled back and stared at me, panting heavily. “George, I… I mean, do you think we can…”

I wasn’t entirely sure what he was trying to say, but the way he nodded toward Tay’s bedroom door and nudged me that way was a decent hint. My head was spinning at the thought, and from the alcohol, too, I supposed. I had heard of falling down drunk, but I supposed this was falling into bed drunk. 

And I was about to fall into bed… with Zac.


	23. Sexual MacGyver

This was happening. This was really happening.

I actually had to pinch myself as Zac grabbed my hand and pulled me into Taylor’s bedroom. As if it wasn’t ridiculous enough that this was finally happening with Zac, it had to happen in his brother’s bedroom. But my life was nothing if not ridiculous, so it seemed strangely fitting that I would finally go all the way with Zac—I hoped—in the same bed I had finally lost my virginity in.

I tried really hard not to think about what Taylor would have to say about that if he ever found out.

“George…” Zac said, breathing out heavily and then laughing a little nervously. He pulled me to him again and crushed our lips together.

I didn’t know what he had wanted to say, but I didn’t really care. He was saying enough with his lips right then without even using words. I tried not to think about what this meant for our friendship or any potential relationship we might have. There would be time to worry about that in the morning when we were sober and the room wasn’t spinning. 

“Can we,” I began, reluctantly pulling back from the kiss, my hand on his chest. “Can we like… lay down? I’m kinda dizzy.”

Zac giggled but nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

He guided me toward the bed, but at the last second, I tripped and sent us both falling onto it. Zac landed on top of me and if the force of him hadn’t taken my breath away, just seeing him _on top of me_ would have. I sucked in a deep breath and laughed again.

“Sorry,” Zac said, propping himself up with one arm and running the other hand up and down my side. 

“It’s okay,” I replied, wiggling my feet to try to kick my shoes off. “It’s these stupid shoes. And the stupid vodka. Not… not a good combination.”

“Well, this dress and you is a good combination,” he mumbled, his hand creeping around the hem of the dress and just barely touching my bare thigh. 

I giggled, because it was so close to a cheesy come on, but when Zac said something like that, I didn’t want to roll my eyes. It wasn’t that Zac could do no wrong where I was concerned—okay, maybe that was part of it—but it was just adorable when he tried to be flirty. Why had I never noticed that before? Probably because he had never flirted with me before.

And he had definitely never touched me like this before. His hand crept higher and higher up my thigh, until his fingers brushed against the lace of my thong—not a piece of underwear I would normally wear, but I was thinking hopeful thoughts when I put it on. Having Zac’s hand up my dress was more than I could have ever hoped for, though.

Zac gave a strange little strangled whimper, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine again. I ran my hands through his hair while we kissed, loving how soft it was… loving basically everything about this moment. I let my hands drift lower, feeling the surprising amount of muscles in Zac’s back, as his hand crept into my underwear. 

“Zac!” I gasped out as his fingers seemed to find what they were looking for, one of them sliding right into me because I was already that wet. 

“Mmm, George—Georgie,” he mumbled against my neck, and I decided not to point out the fact that he _never_ called me Georgie. That was Taylor’s thing. And I really didn’t need to think about Taylor’s _thing_ right now.

As if he could read my mind—although he obviously couldn’t—Zac grabbed my hand and placed it on the front of his jeans. Yes, he was definitely hard. And it was because of me. I fumbled to unbutton his pants and push them down, and he assisted as much as he could with his free hand. Once his pants were around his ankles, he pulled my hand into his boxer briefs and wrapped it around his dick. It wasn’t quite as big as Taylor’s but—I really needed to stop thinking about him. 

I jerked Zac off the best that I could with my hand sort of trapped between our bodies. He seemed to like it, at least, his head falling against my chest and his chest heaving. After a moment, he pulled back, nudging my dress upward.

“Here,” I said, pushing the straps off my shoulders. “Lemme take it off.”

Zac just nodded and stood up, looking dazed. He fumbled to kick his pants off, then pulled off his shirt. I stared at him for a moment before remembering that I was supposed to be taking my dress off. I wiggled my arms free of the straps, then shimmied the rest of the way out of the dress. I knew, even as I did it that it wasn’t the sexiest move ever, but Zac didn’t seem to mind. As soon as the dress was off, he climbed back onto the bed and back on top of me, his arms shaking as he hovered over me and ground against my inner thigh.

“Georgie,” Zac breathed out. “I can’t—I mean, I want… fuck, Georgie.”

“Yes, please,” I replied, grinning.

Zac laughed loudly, collapsing onto my chest. I couldn’t wear a bra under that dress, so Zac’s face was pressed right against my naked breast, his breath hitting my nipple and making me shiver. When he darted out his tongue and licked it, I thought I would scream. My back arched, pushing my hips against Zac’s, and causing him to let out a low growl. 

It was the best sound I had ever heard.

“Zac… please,” I whined. Apparently it was my turn to beg.

He pulled back and gave me a sheepish grin. I almost thought he looked nervous. With a nod, he said, “Yeah, just… just lemme find a…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but I was pretty sure I knew what he meant. He practically dove off the bed into the floor, grabbing his jeans and digging through the pocket until he found his wallet. I just barely stopped myself before pointing out that Taylor kept his condoms in the top dresser drawer. Finally, Zac found one, and with it held between his teeth, he shoved his boxer briefs down his legs and kicked them off. I blushed and giggled as he crawled back onto the bed again and knelt in front of me. 

The alcohol still coursing through my body kept me from being shy about Zac seeing me all spread out like that. Instead, I just wiggled free of my thong and tossed it across the room with a giggle. Zac pulled the condom out of his mouth and grinned. His brow furrowed adorably as he struggled to open the package and then roll the piece of latex on. Again, I was too intoxicated to even be ashamed at the way I watched him. I might have been too drunk to remember all the details, so I wanted to commit them all to my memory before they became fuzzy.

Zac lowered himself onto me again. With his lip caught between by his teeth, he attempted to position himself. His struggle with it made me realize that he was probably just as drunk as I was, but right then, I really didn’t care. I just cared that this was going to happen. We were going to have sex. Zac was going to—

With a soft grunt, he thrust into me. I gave a little whimper as I adjusted to the feel of him, so hot and thicker than I had expected. His arms trembled beside me as he worked up a rhythm, each of his soft, almost whimpery little grunts coming in time with his thrusts. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, fingernails just barely digging into his back. My legs curled around him almost of their own accord, locking our bodies together. 

“G-Georgie… oh, god,” Zac moaned out, collapsing against me and burying his face in my hair.

All I could do in response was gasp his name over and over. A voice at the back of my mind tried to remind me that this wasn’t how I wanted it to be. I didn’t want it sloppy and lust-filled; I wanted us to make love. A louder voice reminded me that I should be happy it was happening at all, and I was. Sex with Taylor was enlightening, because it was all so new to me, but sex with Zac was what I really wanted.

One of Zac’s hands found its way to my hip, the tips of his fingers digging in as he pulled me even closer to him, effectively holding my body in place. He thrust deeper and deeper into me, and although I wanted to keep my eyes open and watch him, see the beautiful expressions on his face, my eyes had other ideas. They clamped shut, bright explosions of blue and red happening on the back of my eyelids as Zac hit just the right spot and sent me over the edge. A low growl from him as he held me still and didn’t move at all suggested that he had found his climax, too.

He breathed out my name as he collapsed on top of me, and I didn’t even mind that we were sweaty and naked and he was still inside of me. The fact that he wasn’t running away and that he still wanted to be near me even after we had finally had sex was a good thing, I thought. Maybe he really wanted me and it hadn’t just been some drunk mistake. 

We must have passed out where we lay, because the sudden sound of someone banging against the door brought us both back to reality with a jolt.

“Didn’t I tell everybody my bedroom is off limits?” Taylor shouted. “Jesus Christ! I know I’m one to talk, but people seriously need to control their libidos—especially if they’re in somebody else’s apartment!”

Zac stared at me wide eyed from his position on my chest, which I really hoped he hadn’t been drooling on in his sleep. “Did you lock the door?”

“No!” I hissed back. “Did you lock the door?”

“I don’t know!”

Taylor rattled the handle, but the door didn’t open, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. At least we weren’t going to be discovered still naked in bed together. 

“Five minutes!” Taylor shouted. “Five minutes, and then I pull out the credit cards and MacGyver this door open!”

I doubted Taylor’s ability to MacGyver anything outside of the bedroom, but the threat didn’t seem totally empty. As his footsteps seemed to retreat, Zac jumped up and fumbled to toss the condom in Taylor’s trash can. I dove into the floor and quickly redressed myself, but decided to forego the heels. I shoved them into my purse, which had fallen by the door, and glanced back at Zac, who was still struggling to zip and button his jeans. 

“What if he’s waiting outside?” I whispered, pointing at the door.

Zac shrugged, but hurried to finish dressing. Once he was done, he walked over to the door and peered through the peephole that was too high for me to even remember it existed. 

“He’s gone,” Zac said. “There are people outside, but nobody is even looking at the door. I’ll go first, and no one will ever notice.”

“Okay,” I replied with a nod. 

I positioned myself so that I would be hidden by the door while Zac made his escape. Once he was gone, I took a moment to smooth my hair. If my makeup was smudged, there wasn’t much I could do about that, but I could at least try to tame the sex hair. Finally, once I thought I’d given it long enough that no one would notice my escape, I scurried out of Taylor’s room and crept as inconspicuously along the wall of the living room as I could.

I finally located Molly and Peyton in the kitchen, waiting for Taylor to pour them drinks. They all turned to look at me, and I self consciously ran my hand through my hair.

“Hey, umm,” I said. “I think, umm, I’m just gonna go back to the apartment. I kinda… think I had a little too much, and I just need to lay down.”

“Are you sure?” Molly asked. “I mean, I can go back with you if you want. If you’re gonna be sick, you probably shouldn’t go by yourself.”

“I’ll be okay,” I replied, fumbling through my purse for the heels, because I really didn’t feel like walking across campus barefoot. “You guys stay here and have fun.”

They all bid me goodbye and seemed concerned about my well-being, but I couldn’t help noticing something else in Taylor’s eyes as he stared at me. I could still feel them on me as I wobbled awkwardly away in those stupid shoes.

Did he know? He couldn’t possibly know… or could he?


	24. Human Emotions

I didn’t see Zac at all the next day after his party. That wasn’t too surprising; it was a Sunday so everyone was recovering and getting ready for the week ahead. For me, that meant long hours in the library to finish an essay I had been putting off too long. 

It was for my psychology class, which was far from my best subject. I barricaded myself in a corner on the quiet second floor, with all my references spread out around me and my laptop in front of me, but even hours later I felt like I hadn’t made any progress at all. I didn’t even know how long I had been in the library, but my head and eyes were both screaming with pain and my laptop battery was dying. I ducked under the table to wind the cord around to the nearest outlet. When I sat up again, I nearly screamed at the sight in front of me.

“Thought you might need a coffee break,” Taylor said, a huge grin on his face as he held out a steaming cup from the coffee shop on the library’s first floor. 

“And a heart attack?” I suggested, actually clutching my chest. I hadn’t heard him approaching at all; he had just materialized in front of me.

“While I am flattered that I can stop your heart, that really wasn’t my intention this time.” He sat down in the chair across from mine and slid the cup across the table toward me.

I restrained myself from making any jokes about date rape drugs and just took a cautious sip. I definitely needed the caffeine, although I wasn’t even sure how Taylor knew I was here.

“Molly told me you had an essay to work on,” he said, apparently reading my thoughts. 

“I didn’t know you even knew where the library was,” I replied. 

Taylor smirked. “Where else would I go to pick up hot, nerdy chicks?”

“Well, why don’t you go do that and leave me alone? As you should have figured out when you talked to Molly, I’m busy.” I stood up then, leaving the latte behind, and walked off to the nearest stacks.

I didn’t really need to get a book from the stacks, and I couldn’t say why I was being so rude to Taylor when he had actually done something nice for me. But that wasn’t true. I knew why I couldn’t talk him or even look him in the eyes. Because I’d had sex with Zac. Had it been so hard to talk to Zac when I was hiding my thing with Taylor from him? I wasn’t sure. I was so angry with Zac for being with Bella then that my own guilt was usually pushed aside, smothered by that anger. 

Of course, Taylor followed me. Once again, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw him peering at me over a row of books.

“We need to talk, Georgie Girl,” he said. “And you are not making yourself look any less guilty when you run from me. More guilty, in fact. So really, you’ve already answered my question, but I still want to hear you say it.”

“Do you practice sounding so creepy or does it just come naturally?” I asked, scurrying away into the next stack.

Unfortunately, Taylor’s freakishly long legs carried him there before I could escape, and he blocked my path. “It’s a talent, really. But you’re trying to change the subject.”

“And what is the subject?” I asked, doing my best to feign innocence. I was pretty sure I had failed entirely.

“The little birthday present you gave my baby brother,” Taylor replied, the worlds falling out of his mouth so casually, as though he were talking about nothing more interesting than the weather.

“What, the Star Wars books?” I asked, pulling a book off the shelf nearest to me and pretending to be completely disinterested in this line of conversation.

“Mmm, no,” Taylor said, leaning against the stack. “But nice try. I know _somebody_ had sex in my bedroom, Georgie. I saw the used condom in the trash. By the way, eww. Now, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I didn’t think you were that shameless, but I’m still not totally buying that it wasn’t you two. But you were both looking awfully guilty before you left the party.”

I slammed the book back onto the shelf and stared Taylor down. I had done a little theatre in high school; surely I could act my way out of this. After all, I had kept my thing with Taylor a secret for quite a while, hadn’t I? “Look, I don’t know why you assume that it was me. Or him. And especially that it was the two of us together. There were plenty of girls all over him all night; it could have been any of them. That seems a lot more likely than Zac finally showing any interest in me, don’t you think?”

“The way you were dressed, darling?” Taylor raised an eyebrow. “Every guy in that party was showing a little interest in you. You just only had eyes for my brother, so of course you didn’t notice.”

“What’s your point?” I asked.

“No point,” he replied breezily. “I just think the truth might be fun for a change. You lied to Zac about me, and now you’re lying to me about him? Not cool, Georgie Girl. Not cool.”

“Don’t compare the two situations,” I snapped. “Even if it did happen, and I’m definitely not saying that it did, it would be nothing like our little… little thing.”

“I’m not even going to touch the phrase ‘little thing,’” Taylor replied. 

“Why am I still talking to you?” I took a few steps backward, putting as much space between us as I could. Taylor followed me, backing me up against one of the stacks. “I really didn’t think you were capable of human emotions at all, so the fact that you actually seem jealous right now is really shocking.”

“Jealousy implies that I think he’s actually better than me,” Taylor said huskily, leaning in so close that I could feel his breath on my neck. “And I know better than that. I know you’re in love with him or whatever, but let’s be honest—he couldn’t ever dream of getting you off the way I do. And I think that’s why you won’t admit what happened; because you don’t wanna rule out the possibility of being with me again.”

I hated him. I officially hated Taylor Hanson. I flinched back away from him, but it wasn’t like I could get very far when I was caught between him and stacks of books. “Or maybe nothing at all happened and you’re just delusional and jealous. Neither of which, by the way, are a good look for you.”

“I would say slutty isn’t a good look for you, but actually… I kinda like it.” Taylor grinned. 

“Yeah, well, I already knew you were a total sleazeball,” I replied. “What’s your point?”

“No point, really,” he said, stepping back and shrugging. “Just wanted the truth. But it’ll come out eventually, I’m sure.”

“Just leave me alone, please?” I was starting to sound whiny and pathetic, but I really didn’t care. I just wanted this conversation to end.

“Fine,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air as if to plead innocence. “Consider the conversation over… for now.”

With that, Taylor finally turned and walked away. I let out a huge sigh, and practically collapsed back against the bookshelf. Why did I let him get to me and get under my skin like that? Because he was right, I supposed. He knew. I could lie to him all I wanted, but he knew. He saw right through me, and I didn’t like that.

Once I was sure Taylor was gone, having peered around the stacks just to be sure he wasn’t lurking anywhere, I made my way back to the table where my laptop and notes still sat, along with the latte Taylor had brought me. Was it supposed to be a peace offering? Something to ease the sting of his interrogation? It hadn’t really worked. But I did need caffeine, and it worked perfectly well for that purpose, even if it had cooled down quite a bit while Taylor and I were arguing.

As I sipped the latte, I realized what it was that made me so upset. It wasn’t Taylor’s accusations—okay, that was a part of it. But something had clicked in my head when he had called me slutty. I knew he was just teasing, but I _had_ tried to change my image to what was arguably a sluttier look. And why? To impress Zac? 

Well, it had worked, hadn’t it?

I should have been happy about that, and yet I wasn’t. Zac didn’t want me. He wanted the slutty, girly girl I was pretending to be. He wanted my body and nothing more. While I should have been flattered that he wanted even that—after all, wasn’t I flattered that Taylor did?—I just wasn’t. If it took an extreme makeover for him to take a purely sexual interest in me, I could only imagine how ugly he thought I was the rest of the time. And even if he didn’t, it wasn’t my personality he was suddenly falling for. That obviously impressed him as much as my lackluster looks.

It all boiled down to one obvious fact: he had no interest in me other than sexual interest. 

And even that wasn’t good enough if I had to be tarted up for him to notice I was a woman. I could joke all I wanted about being his asexual best friend, but it was becoming more and more obvious that that really was how he saw me. Unless I changed everything about myself, I held no interest to him. 

And I thought Taylor was the shallow one.

I felt sick, but I gulped down the rest of my latte anyway and forced myself to finish my essay. I had nothing else going for me—certainly no boyfriend to spend time with—so what else did I have to do but classwork? 

Without even noticing, I worked all the way through dinner; when I finally emerged from the library, I was surprised to see that it was dark. Most of the restaurants in the student center would still be open, but I really didn’t feel that hungry, so I decided just to head back to the suite and find something to snack on in our kitchen. 

It was a pretty long walk back, and I was exhausted by the time I made it into the building. I swung the suite door open and headed straight for the couch, plopping down on it and letting my bags fall to the floor in front of me. 

“Hey.” 

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Zac’s voice. “What the hell?”

“Molly let me in,” he said. “Apparently you were working hard in the library, so I wanted to see if you wanted to get some Taco Bueno.”

“What is with you guys trying to feed me today?” I asked. When Zac just gave me a blank stare, I waved a hand dismissively at him. “Nevermind. I’m really not hungry, but thanks.”

“Look, George,” he said, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I had a feeling I knew what was coming next. “I think we need to talk. I mean, my memory is pretty hazy, but…”

“Then let it stay hazy,” I replied. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come on, please,” Zac said, standing up and holding his hand out to me. 

Childishly, I crossed my arms to hide my hands from him. “I just really, really don’t wanna talk about it. But now that you mention it… I could go for some chips and salsa.”

“If I come back with chips and salsa will you talk?” 

“It’s a definite maybe,” I replied. 

Zac gave me a smile. “I’ll take it.”

He turned and walked away then, but I didn’t watch him go. Once I heard the suite door slam, I let out a sigh. What had I gotten myself into? Why did I agree to talk to him? What he had to say couldn’t possibly be good. It could only confirm my fears: that what we had done was nothing more than a drunken mistake that he didn’t wish to repeat.


	25. All Slutted Up

After Zac left, I retreated to my bedroom. The door to it wasn’t locked and neither was the main door to the suite, but a small part of me was hoping that I could just hide and Zac would forget about trying to bribe me with queso. 

No such luck.

I was just staring at the walls twenty minutes later when I heard the suite door open and Zac’s feet shuffling across the carpet. I still jumped when he rapped gently on my door, but quickly recovered and scrambled to my feet. 

“Can I get a hand?” He asked when I opened the door to reveal him, arms loaded down with food and a sheepish smile on his face.

Damn him for being so adorable. It would have been so much harder to forgive him if he weren’t, but just that smile had me halfway there.

“Yeah, sorry,” I mumbled, grabbing the drink holder from his hand and holding the door open so he could walk into the room. 

He laid out the impressive spread, far more than I had asked him to order, down on my bed and sat gingerly on the edge of it. For a moment, I just stood and stared dumbly at him. Zac tore into a bag containing a taco and was about to take the first bite when he finally realized I hadn’t joined him. He raised his eyebrows in confusion and I took the hint. Keeping a little distance between us, I sat down on my bed and picked up a bag of tortilla chips.

“Queso and salsa?” Zac asked, nudging the two containers toward me. “The guac is all mine, though.”

I nodded, but didn’t trust myself to speak. We both ate in silence for a few minutes before Zac finally sat his food down and gave me a pointed look.

“So, listen,” he said. “I know I was drunk, but I’m pretty sure remember us… I mean… did we have sex?”

“Yeah,” I squeaked out. “We did. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Well, I mean, we were drunk, and you know… I mean, I’ve been with Taylor. Do you really want his sloppy seconds?”

Zac reached across the bed and grasped my hand. “George. Hey. I would never think of you that way.”

“I didn’t think you’d ever think of me sexually at all,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. As soon as I said it, I hated myself for it. Of course he didn’t. Not the real me. 

Zac stared down at our hands for a moment. “Look, I don’t know why it happened. But it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve… I mean, okay, we didn’t go all the way before. But you looked so pretty and I guess… I guess I was lonely or whatever.”

“So it was just your rebound from Bella?”

“No!” Zac replied quickly, his head shooting up. “No, I mean, it does suck that things ended with her. But not because it was _her_ , and I’m all heartbroken over losing someone like that. Just because it sucks to break up with anyone.”

I chewed my lip for a moment and considered my next question. It had the potential to offend Zac, and the answer probably wouldn’t be one I would like, but I had to ask. “What did you ever see in her anyway?”

“What do you see in Taylor?” He shot back. “I know, it’s just sex between you two. But it’s flattering, isn’t it? That he’s popular or whatever and he wants you. Well, it was flattering to think that someone like Bella wanted me. Although now I’m not so convinced that she ever really did.”

“I guess I can understand that,” I replied softly, then turned my attention back to my food.

“Is something wrong?” Zac asked.

I shook my head. Of course there was, but he didn’t need to know that. And even if he could tell that _something_ was wrong, he didn’t need to know what. How I could even begin to explain how much it hurt me to realize that he hadn’t wanted me, just someone to comfort him when he was drunk and lonely?

“Did I do something?” He prodded. He was getting closer. Surely he wouldn’t figure out what had bothered me, though. He wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t. “Is it… it’s because of last night, I know, but I don’t understand why.” 

I sighed. There was no point avoiding the question. “I guess it was… I mean, what changed? Why last night? Did you just want… some Bella substitute?”

“What—no, why would you say that?” Zac’s eyes were wide and full of confusion.

“Well, because of the way I was dressed,” I said weakly, averting my eyes as soon as I said it and stuffing my mouth with tortilla chips. I felt stupid enough; I didn’t want to open my big mouth and say something even dumber.

“Because you dressed up for me?” Zac asked, brow furrowed. “George, I haven’t seen you in a dress since graduation. And yeah, you looked pretty. And I noticed that. But you look pretty right now, in jeans and an old t-shirt. What does the way you were dressed have to do with anything?”

“Would you want to have sex with me now?” I asked, then slapped my hand over my mouth. “I mean. I’m not asking to get down and dirty right this second. I just mean, it feels like… like you only wanted me because I was all slutted up.”

Zac shook his head. “That’s not… I wasn’t thinking that at all, Georgie, I swear. I told you; you’re pretty no matter what. But I won’t deny that it was kinda… flattering, I guess, that you put that much effort into dressing up for my birthday. I never thought you looked slutty.”

“I kinda did, though,” I mumbled.

Zac shoved the food aside and scooted closer to me. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. I didn’t think of it that way, and I don’t think of you that way.”

“You don’t?” I asked. “Not even after I slept with Taylor… and then you, too?”

He shrugged. “I slept with Bella. And okay, you did hold that against me. You know it bothered me that you slept with Taylor, but more… more because you lied to me about it than for any other reason. He’s my brother. He’s a whore but he’s not a bad guy. But Bella… well, she’s Bella.”

“That she is,” I replied, snorting a little with laughter. 

“And I don’t want you to try to be like her,” Zac said. “I mean, you did look pretty at my party, but you didn’t look like you. And you… I like _you_ , George. And to answer your question, yes, I would have sex with you just the way you are right now. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’ve looked like this for years, and you hadn’t… until yesterday.”

“Not totally true,” Zac replied, nudging me. “What about freshman year?”

I snorted again. “I don’t think your hand down my pants for about two minutes really counts.”

Zac blushed. I wondered how he remembered that awkward night and what he thought of it, but I didn’t dare ask. Obviously it embarrassed him on some level; it took a lot to make Zac blush, even though he was practically a prude compared to Taylor. And there I was—comparing them again. It wasn’t fair, and I hated that I did it. It wasn’t _right_.

“Nevermind,” I mumbled. “I guess I’m just so confused about what happened… and why…”

“Well, I don’t know why it happened,” Zac admitted. “It just did. Why do we have to think about it so much? I don’t want what happened… what we did… to change anything. Or change us. And I don’t want you changing because you think you need to be like Bella to be attractive or whatever. Because trust me, you don’t.”

“I don’t?” I asked, feeling stupid for even doubting him and questioning his statement. But the truth of the matter was, no matter what we had done when we were curious teenagers, he had never shown any sexual interest in me until he saw me in a tight skirt and a pound of makeup.

“No,” Zac said decisively, leaning in and kissing my cheek. “You don’t, George. I promise.”

“And you like me just the way I am?” I was pushing my luck by asking him these questions over and over, I knew. But I couldn’t stop myself.

“I do.” He leaned in closer and kissed the corner of my mouth. “I do. Even though you’ve got salsa right there.”

He swiped his thumb across my upper lip, presumably to remove the offending bit of salsa, then sat back and wiped his hand on a napkin. I felt my cheeks burning up, both because I’d been sitting here having this serious conversation with food on my face and because, well, Zac had kissed me. On purpose.

“I’m tired,” he said, stuffing some of his trash into an empty bag. “Let’s put the leftovers away and lay down. What do you say?”

“It’s early to go to bed, isn’t it?” I asked.

Zac smirked. “Who said anything about sleeping?”

Was he… was he _really_ suggesting what I thought? The smirk that stayed on his lips told me that he definitely was, and he almost seemed to be daring me to defy him and say no. As though it were even a possibility. The word “no” wasn’t in my vocabulary when sex with Zac was on the table. 

“Yeah,” I said, grabbing some of the tacos we hadn’t eaten and hopping up. “Okay.”

Zac stood up and kissed the top of my head. “Well, somebody’s eager.” 

Feeling bold, I just smacked him on the ass before scurrying out of the room to stow our leftovers in the refrigerator. Knowing my roommates, they wouldn’t be there by morning, but I really didn’t care. Food was the least of my concern right then, and so I was back in the room as quickly as possible, just in time to see Zac shimmying out of his pants. I didn’t even try to resist the urge to whistle.

He rolled his eyes, but smiled. With his pants now on the floor, Zac sat down on my bed and patted the spot next to him. 

I wanted to ask what this meant. I wanted to ask what we were now. I wanted to jump up and down and squeal in delight that this was happening at all. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just sat down next to Zac and stared at him, waiting for him to make the next move.

That move turned out to be wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down onto the bed, my body awkwardly sprawled across his. He definitely wasn’t as smooth as—no. I was not going to compare them again. Even if it was a little awkward, it was _Zac_. The fact overshadowed the awkwardness, and I forgot about it entirely as he tangled a hand in my hair and pressed his lips to mine.

I didn’t know if we were a couple. I didn’t know if we ever would be or if that was even something Zac wanted for me. All I knew was that we were way closer to dating than we had ever been before. And for the moment, that was good enough for me.


	26. Slutty Witch

After Zac spent the night, nothing at all changed between us. 

I expected it to, or at least _hoped_ for it to, and maybe it would have if I had been brave enough to ask him what it all meant. There were so many questions I had for him, and none I was brave enough to ask. 

Why had he suddenly shown interest in me, if he swore it had nothing to do with my tight dress and heavy makeup? It had surely been the reason he noticed me and thought of me sexually, even if he did seemingly still want me when I wasn’t dressed like a Bella clone. 

Were we dating? I didn’t think we were dating; surely Zac would have felt the need to mention that or at least act differently around me. But he didn’t. Nothing changed. This was a bigger deal than losing my virginity to Taylor, and yet Zac acted like nothing at all had even happened.

Were we fuck buddies now, like Taylor and I had been? Had Taylor and I even stopped? Sure, we hadn’t had sex again since what happened with Zac, but there had been no official breakup or anything. I still hadn’t even confirmed his suspicions about myself and Zac—mostly because I didn’t even understand what happened. 

It all just left my head spinning and I had no idea how to begin to sort it all out.

Halloween came so quickly that I didn’t have time to buy a better costume than the one I’d bought as part of my stupid plan to seduce Zac. Okay, so I made a pretty good “slutty witch,” but it wasn’t how I wanted to be seen. Even if my makeover for his birthday had worked, it made me feel horrible. Zac could assure me constantly that he hadn’t just wanted me because I looked like a total whore, but I didn’t quite buy it. 

Yet here I was, walking into the Halloween party at Taylor’s apartment, wearing the shortest, tightest Hogwarts uniform known to man. 

I tugged, rather pointlessly, on my tiny skirt as I walked around the party, trying to spot someone, anyone I knew. At the same time, I kind of hoped I _didn’t_ see any of my friends when I was dressed like this. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to see Zac, and I definitely had no desire to cross paths with Taylor—something which was pretty much given considering that he was hosting the party.

Whatever the night brought, I was sure it required alcohol, and so I squeezed through the crowd toward the kitchen, finally making my way to the makeshift bar on the island. Standing in front of it was a figure I almost didn’t recognize at first. Finally, I realized it was one of my roommates. Peyton had fluffed up her hair to a curly, frizzy height I’d never seen before; a long scarf tied in it matched the general haphazard hippie look of the rest of her costume. 

“When you said Harry Potter, _that_ was not what I had in mind,” she said, eyeing my outfit critically. It dawned on me that she was supposed to be Professor Trelawney; it was actually a pretty good costume and definitely more faithful to the books than mine.

I tugged on the skirt again, trying to will it into a more modest length that my feminist roommate would stop snarling at. I was utterly unsuccessful. “Yeah, well, it isn’t exactly my dream costume, either.”

She crossed her arms, snarl still firmly planted on her face. “Yet you’re wearing it.”

“And I’m already regretting it, trust me,” I replied, then grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured myself a very strong drink. Before taking a big swig, I added, “I need to be far less sober to be okay with this costume. It was a mistake to buy it, and getting drunk in it is probably going to be another mistake, but since I’ve made it this far… why not go all out?”

Peyton just shook her head. “I don’t get you. I really just don’t get you.”

“I don’t get me anymore either,” I mumbled into my cup.

If I had actually told Peyton what happened with Zac, maybe I would have been able to explain the slutty costume thing. But I hadn’t told _anyone_ about what happened with Zac—not what happened on his birthday or what happened a few days later. Why I felt like that needed to stay a secret when it was arguably far less embarrassing than what I’d done with Taylor… well, I really couldn’t explain it. I just knew that I didn’t want anyone to know, at least not yet. Not until I knew what the hell was going on. It was bad enough that Taylor already suspected, but until I knew what the hell was going on with Zac and I, then our sexual encounters needed to be a secret.

It wasn’t that I was embarrassed, really. But I felt like an idiot. For all I knew, Zac had used me for sex even more than Taylor had… or more than I had used Taylor. To be honest, I didn’t know how either of them felt about me or why either of them wanted me, but somehow Zac’s intentions seemed worse than Taylor’s, if only because he hadn’t made _any_ attempt to explain them to me. Taylor may not have seemed sincere—ever—but at least he was able to talk to me about what we had done and not act like it meant any more or any less than it really did.

Arguing with Peyton about my costume, when I knew I didn’t have a leg to stand on and truthfully didn’t even want to be defending it or even wearing it, only made me want to drink even more. If I was drunk, I wouldn’t care about how ridiculous I looked and how ridiculous I felt for thinking I needed to dress all slutty to make Zac like me. I was determined to ignore the fact that it had worked. He could say that wasn’t the reason he’d suddenly seen me as something sexual, but there was a part of me that didn’t quite believe him. What else had changed? And what did it say about me—or about Zac--that I had to pretend to be someone else to make him want me?

The more I thought about all of that, the more I drank. When my cup came close to running empty, I filled it right back up again, still doing my best to ignore Peyton’s judgmental stares. I almost succeeded at that, but I definitely succeeded at getting shitfaced.

Everything turned into a big blur as I wandered around the party, a drink constantly in my hand. With all that alcohol in my system, I didn’t feel so bad about my costume, nor did I mind that I hadn’t seen Zac at all that night. I could be friendly and happy and talk to whoever I ended up next to in the packed apartment, without a single worry on my mind.

Okay, that was a lie.

Zac was _always_ at the back of my mind, my senses on high alert, even with the alcohol to dull them, in hopes of seeing his costume. It wasn’t a terribly creative one, but I knew me. The second he came into view, my eyes would be drawn to him. 

By my fourth or fifth bathroom break of the night, I still hadn’t spotted him. Then, just as I stepped out of the bathroom, smoothing down my costume and trying to stay upright in my high heels—which was becoming more and more difficult with each drink—I saw him. The big, black shroud and melted-looking mask weren’t distinctive or unique, but the person wearing them paused on the spot and looked back at me. At least, I was pretty sure he did. It was, after all, hard to tell when I couldn’t really see his face. 

Immediately forgetting the shame I’d felt for wearing this slutty costume, I put an extra sashay in my hips and walked straight toward him. If this was what I had to do to get him, then so be it. Right then, in my drunken state, I didn’t really care. 

At least it worked, judging by the arm he extended as soon as I was within reach. His hand latched onto my waist and pulled me tightly against his chest. My heart was already pounding, and I wondered if he could hear it. With his other hand, he pulled his mask up just enough to reveal his lips. In my high heels, I barely even had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. His lips were ridiculously soft and tasted like rum, and I absolutely reveled in the taste and feel. 

“Zac,” I said breathlessly as I reluctantly pulled away from the kiss. We were, after all, standing in the middle of a party in his brother’s apartment. “Are you sure this is exactly the right place for us to be doing this? I mean, not that I’m ashamed or anything, and not like we haven’t done anything worse…”

I trailed off, because I wasn’t sure what sort of argument I was making or why I was making it. He still wanted me! Shouldn’t I just be happy and enjoy that fact? 

“Maybe we should at least… not do this right in the hallway?” I suggested, the words trailing off into a pathetic squeak.

Zac smirked, then cocked his head toward Taylor’s bedroom. That was a bad idea for different reasons, but it wouldn’t be the first time we’d done something we shouldn’t have done on Taylor’s bed. So why not? What was the point of fighting him or trying to act like I was too good to do things I’d already done? After a moment to consider, I gave him a shrug, then giggled as he took my hand and practically drug me into the bedroom. 

The door had barely slammed behind us before _I_ was slammed up against the door. This wasn’t like Zac at all, but he was clearly drunk, too. Alcohol clearly made him behave differently, if our last encounter in Taylor’s bed was anything to judge by. And did I really know what he was like in bed, anyway? Sure, we’d had sex twice, but both times were different from each other and different from this passionate version of him, too. 

Not that I was complaining at all. Not even a little tiny bit.

I pouted when Zac pulled away from the kiss, but I quickly realized he had only done so to pull me back toward the bed. He practically tossed me onto it, and my head spun for a moment. Maybe I’d had too much to drink, I thought. That was certainly a possibility, but it was too late to worry about. All there was to think about right then was the boy climbing onto the bed on top of me. 

His hands danced up and down my sides, bunching up my costume. I thought it was kind of funny that through all of this we were still both in costume. Especially Zac. There was something really surreal about making out with someone dressed as a fictional serial killer. The Scream movies were terrible! I couldn’t take his costume seriously at all, and that made it pretty hard to be turned on right then, even if I was with Zac, the guy I’d wanted approximately forever. I decided it was time to fix that, and so I reached up and shoved his mask the rest of the way off.

And discovered that I wasn’t in bed with Zac at all.


	27. Make You Scream

“Taylor!” I shouted, then clamped a hand over my own mouth. I knew that was silly; it was highly unlikely anyone outside his room had heard and even if they had, it wasn’t like I could take the exclamation back.

He just grinned down at me. “Last time I checked.”

“But not the last time I checked!” I squealed, kicking uselessly at him, given that he had me all but pinned to the bed. “You were supposed to be Zac!”

“Funny how that happens,” Taylor replied, seemingly unfazed by the fact that I wanted nothing more than to beat the shit out of him. “But I suppose this does answer my question.”

“What was the question? Will I die at Georgina’s hands? Because the answer to that is ‘yes and soon.’”

He just grinned even more. “So feisty. Really living up to that redhead thing.”

“What. Was. The. Question.”

“You answered it yourself,” Taylor said. “You were expecting Zac to make you scream tonight. Well, I doubt his ability to make you scream on any given night, but that’s beside the point.”

“And what is the point?” I asked. I was still without a doubt drunk, but the pleasant buzz was giving way to a Taylor-induced headache.

“The point is, you were expecting the man in this costume to be my dear brother. And you were planning on getting seriously busy with him, and not for the first time.”

My stomach dropped as realization dawned, admittedly later than it should have. I could only blame the alcohol for the delay. “You… you did this on purpose.”

“I suppose so,” Taylor replied, as though the thought had just occurred to him as well. Brushing back a strand of my hair and leaning down as if to kiss me, he added, “But it got me the answer I was looking for. And the question was—did you fuck my brother?”

“The question is,” I squirmed away from him but didn’t get very far, his hot breath stll on my neck. “Why do you sound so jealous?”

“If you think I sound jealous, you obviously missed the hissy fit Zac threw when he found out about us.” He nipped at my neck before speaking again. “I don’t do jealous, Georgie. Fuck whoever you want; you’re not committed to me. What I do is honesty, and I think I’ve earned a little of it from you.”

I turned my head away from him to hide my burning cheeks, but that only gave him better access to my neck, which he bit so hard I was sure he would leave a mark.

“So tell me, honestly, did you fuck my brother?”

“Yes,” I breathed out.

Taylor pulled back, and I could practically hear his smirk as much as see it. “Now that’s better.”

“Is it?” I asked. “Because I don’t think you realize how much I hate you right now.”

“Why?” Taylor asked, something almost like real concern, even confusion, in his voice. “Because I made you admit it? Or, oh shit, are you actually dating him?”

“I’m not—I don’t know. That’s not the point. The point is how dirty of a fucking trick this was.” There were a few other points as well, but mostly I didn’t want to admit to Taylor, of all people, that I feared Zac was using me just for sex.

“Alright, I get it,” he said, pulling further back so that he was nearly sitting over me. “I know you love him. I’ve always know that. Everyone but Zac knows that. Sleeping with him means more to you, and sleeping with me is just sex. But whatever you feel, if you haven’t made a commitment to him, you’ve got no legitimate reason to feel guilty right now.”

“And you’ve got no legitimate moral compass.”

Taylor grinned as though he were proud of that fact. “All I’m saying is that you clearly didn’t intend to end up in bed with me. You’re not purposefully being unfaithful or whatever. But now that you’re here, why not let whatever happens, happen?”

Under any other circumstances, I would have had an argument for him. But right then, with alcohol in my system and Taylor leaning back down to press his lips to my neck and run his hand up my skirt, I had nothing.

“Come on, Georgie Girl,” he said, and the rest of my resolve melted away.

I hated him. I really did. But I couldn’t deny the way he made my body feel. Maybe it was that emotion that fueled the fairly explosive sexual chemistry between us. I didn’t know. All I knew was that the second Taylor nudged my panties to the side and slid a finger along my flesh, fireworks went off behind my eyelids.

I was going to die. I was certain of it. He had barely touched me at all and I was going to die. I bit my lip to keep from screaming as Taylor’s fingers continued their exploration. As if I needed the confirmation that he was a sick and twisted individual, Taylor pressed his lips to the aching spot on my neck that his teeth had all but broken, sucking it until my lip practically throbbed.

When he pulled back, I hated him even more. Taylor struggled comically to free himself from the expanses of his costume, and I was torn between laughing and just ripping the ridiculous thing off him myself.

Only Taylor, I thought to myself. Only Taylor Fucking Hanson could put me in such an absurd situation and somehow still turn me on. It wasn’t really fair when I thought about it that way. I loved Zac, I didn’t doubt that, but it seemed I had no resolve when it came to Taylor, either.

To my surprise, although I didn’t really know why it surprised me, he wore nothing but bright red boxer briefs underneath the costume. That left him much closer to naked than I was, although he seemed determined to change that as quickly as humanly possible. It was a good thing I wasn’t so fond of my costume, because Taylor nearly ripped it to shreds. I always thought of that as the sort of cliché that only happened in bad romance novels, but I could actually hear seams ripping as Taylor and I struggled in tandem to remove me from that stupid costume.

It was a huge relief to kick off those shoes and be rid of that slutty outfit, even if the reason why I was rid of it was even sluttier. I didn’t want to think about that, though. If I could just focus on how good his body felt pressed up against mine, I could almost ignore all my reason screaming at me to stop.

Almost. But almost was close enough right then.

Taylor kissed a wet trail down my neck and chest, peeling my bra off as he went and leaving sloppy kissed there, too. His movements were lazy but not unpracticed, and every single kiss brought me closer to the edge before he had even come close to his final destination.

When he did, it took every bit of strength I had not to scream out loud. I didn’t even want to think about how much practice Taylor had gotten in order to be that damn good, but he _was_ that damn good. He seemed to magically know where to touch and what to do, like he knew my body inside and out—literally. 

He didn’t stay between my legs nearly as long as I would have liked, but I couldn’t complain much when he jumped up and began to scramble out of his underwear. The view while he dug around in his dresser for a condom was pretty nice, too. It almost felt dirty to even admit that I found Taylor attractive, but it was obvious to anyone with eyes, and I would have to be _really_ insane to sleep with him if I wasn’t at least physically attracted to him. And physically attracted to him I definitely was, I decided, as he turned back around to face me and made putting on the condom look like the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.

Once it was on, Taylor didn’t waste any more time before getting down to business. I didn’t really mind; the longer he drew things out and teased me, the more time I had to think about all the reasons why this was so wrong. But when Taylor climbed on top of me and nudged my legs apart, all those thoughts left my mind entirely.

We rolled around for what felt like hours, changing positions more times than I could count. It seemed like Taylor was trying to pull out all of his best tricks, as though he needed to impress me or something. But that was ridiculous. Yes, sex with him was good. Great, even. But nothing about him was how it was with Zac. Okay, sex with Zac might have been a little awkward, but in every other aspect, he was my best friend and the person I felt the most comfortable with out of everyone in the world. And the person who gave me so many emotions that went so much deeper than whatever this thing between Taylor and I was.

Whatever it was… right then it was nothing more than the most animalistic sex we’d ever had. At some point, I ended up bent over his bed, my hands grasping as the sheets until my knuckles turned white. Somehow, the sex seemed to amplify the effect of the alcohol and I felt even more drunk than I had since entering his bedroom. I pressed my head down against the mattress and just let that feeling overtake me, pleasure building alongside the tingle of drunkenness. 

It wasn’t long before it overtook me completely. The mattress muffled my hearing some, but I didn’t need to hear Taylor’s moans to know he felt it, too. His fingernails dug into my hips and that was the last little push I needed to go the rest of the way over the edge. Taylor went right along with me, and collapsed onto my back a moment later, trembling. 

“Fuck, Georgie…” He mumbled. It was far from the most eloquent thing he’d ever said, but I really didn’t care. I was fine with him not talking at all right then. The less he talked, the more I could forget that I was with Taylor at all.

Even thinking about trying to pretend he was Zac made me feel even dirtier. I suddenly just wanted to curl up and cry, but I didn’t think that was the best reaction to have right after sex.

Taylor stayed on top of me for what felt like forever before he finally pulled away. I couldn’t resist the urge to just curl up in his bed and pulled the covers up around me. Aside from passing out for a few minutes with Zac, I hadn’t slept in Taylor’s bed before and I wasn’t sure I wanted to start, but the alcohol still coursing through my bloodstream seemed to have other plans.

I must have actually passed out, because the next time I woke up I was wearing my underwear and a comfortable, oversized t-shirt. It felt like I was swimming in it, and I vaguely wondered where Taylor could have found something that felt like it was too big even for him. 

Speaking of Taylor…

He was nowhere around. I had no clue what to make of that at all. As my senses adjusted to being awake again, I realized that he was sitting at his desk, silhouetted by the glow of his laptop.

“Tay?” I rasped, my voice so weak it was barely audible.

“Go back to sleep, Georgie Girl,” Taylor said. “The party can survive without us.”

I wasn’t sure about the logic in that, but I wasn’t sure about the logic in anything Taylor had ever said to me. Who was I to argue with him right then anyway?


	28. Pumpkin Head

I woke in the morning completely disoriented. I knew right away that I wasn’t in my own bed. That didn’t leave many other options. I also knew I wasn’t in Zac’s bed; his room wasn’t this big or this clean. That left only one option, and it was the one I had been trying to deny since the second I had opened my eyes.

Taylor’s bed. I was definitely in Taylor’s bed.

The night’s events came rushing back to me all at once, riding on a wave of nausea—which I could blame on both the alcohol and Taylor, I supposed.

Logically, I knew there was no reason to be surprised by his actions. I would never have willingly admitted to being with Zac, and so he did the only thing his fucked up mind could think of to get the truth out of me. It was gross and nearly unforgivable, but I wasn’t sure how much I could really judge him given that I hadn’t walked out as soon as I realized he wasn’t Zac. No, I really had no room to judge Taylor at all.

And I was going to be sick.

I rushed to the bathroom and flung myself onto the floor in front of the toilet. My stomach turned and I heaved a few painful coughs, but nothing came up. My body was taunting me, I supposed. Why not? After the way I had treated it--and let Taylor treat it--the night before, I supposed it had a right to be a little pissed with me. God knows _I_ was pissed with me.

Finally, after deciding that I wasn’t going to be sick after all, I peeled myself off the floor and decided to see if I could locate the bastard himself. He hadn’t been in the bedroom when I woke up, and I could hear the television, so I figured it was a safe bet that he was in there. The apartment seemed fairly quiet; I had slept through the end of the party and well on into the next day, it seemed.

The apartment was not, however, empty. Because that was just my luck. And because my luck was even worse than that, the first person I saw, sitting on the couch with a video game controller in his hand… was Zac.

“Georgie?” He blinked up at me, his eyes fluttering like he was looking into the face of the sun. He looked like shit, but I supposed with my hangover, I must have looked much the same.

“I… I…” was all that I managed to stutter out. 

“What are you—” Zac began, then shook his head, because the answer was pretty obvious after all. “You know what? Nevermind. I don’t even want to know. It’s already disgusting enough just to think about.”

“So don’t think about it,” Taylor said, suddenly popping his head out of the kitchen. “Why are you thinking about Georgie and me having sex? You thinking about it is what’s gross. I mean, seriously. Who does that?”

I shook my head and stomped my feet, not even caring how childish I looked. “Stop it! Both of you just stop it! You being little bastards to each other is not going to help my hangover.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you climbed into bed with him again. I mean, I’m assuming you didn’t sleep in the bathroom. And if you slept in his bed, I’m assuming you fucked. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person he’s ever shared a bed with who he hasn’t fucked.”

“I don’t think I like you with a hangover, Zac,” Taylor said, finally stepping into the room entirely and leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. “Remind me why I decided to let you crash here?”

Zac glared at him. “I assume it was so you could enjoy this moment and rub it in my face that you were still sleeping with George.”

“That is pretty fucked up,” I cut in, trying not to look either of them directly in the eye. “Sounds exactly like something Taylor would do, actually.”

Taylor rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m clearly an evil genius. Or it could have just been a happy coincidence, much like the fact that the Scream mask wouldn’t fit over my sweet little brother’s pumpkin head.”

“You’re one to talk,” Zac replied, and I thought he had a point about the size of Taylor’s head—literally and metaphorically. “But what the hell does that even have to do with anything?”

“Georgie can tell you,” Taylor replied with a dismissive shrug, then retreated back into the kitchen.

Zac spun back around to face me with a questioning look on his face, but I really didn’t have any answers for him. Sure, I could explain that Taylor had tricked me into thinking he was Zac, but I hadn’t turned him down and left the room when I realized the truth. I had still slept with him. There was no excuse for that, and so I didn’t see why I should even bother trying to explain myself to Zac. It wouldn’t change anything.

“Well?” Zac asked, obviously still waiting for some sort of answer or explanation. 

I shrugged. My lips were set in a tight line to keep myself from blurting out something stupid that wouldn’t help my case at all. Not that anything _would_ help it.

“Oh,” Zac said, and I thought I could actually see the light bulb over his head. Under other circumstances, I might have laughed at that. “We switched costumes. And you didn’t… you didn’t know. Or did you?”

I shook my head. “Not soon enough.”

“Like it makes a difference,” Zac replied, his voice turning harsh again. “You still had sex with him again. After…. after everything. You’re still fucking my slut of a brother.”

I stared at him, waiting for the next blow. Waiting for him to tell me I was just as much of a slut as Taylor was, because that was definitely how I felt. But he didn’t. He just shook his head, dismissing me entirely, and collapsed back onto the couch.

He was just… done. Zac was done with me. His sense of defeat was almost a tangible presence in the room, and it was suffocating, somehow even worse to see than his anger.

Was this the jealousy Taylor had talked about? I had seen just a glimmer of it, just the tiniest flicker. But I couldn’t fully believe in it. It was gone too quickly and he was too willing to just give up and not try to take me away from Taylor. That was all that I wanted from him, I realized. I wanted him to show me some spark and passion and fight. I wanted to really believe that he was jealous, that he really wanted me.

And he either couldn’t or wouldn’t show me that. Whichever it was, I wasn’t sure it made a difference.

“I’m going back to my suite,” I mumbled at that back of Zac’s head, not sure he was listening or even cared. “Tell Taylor to burn the costume I wore last night. I don’t ever want to see it again.”

“You’re just going to leave here in his t-shirt and boxers?” Zac asked. “I mean, if you’re going to take a walk of shame, why not advertise who you were with, I guess.”

And there it was. There was that little bit of contempt for me. I was wrong. It only made it more difficult to believe that he really cared about me. If he didn’t hate me for sleeping with Taylor, he definitely didn’t like me very much. Why I ever thought he might have wanted me for something more than my body, especially after I let Taylor have his way with my body… I really didn’t know. Of course he didn’t.

I turned away form him without another word and retrieved my cell phone and keys from Taylor’s floor. My high heels lay next to them and I had to laugh at how ridiculous I would look in a Nathan Hale t-shirt, silky red boxers and black stilettos as I stumbled across campus. I decided to take the shoes with me, but only carry them. Barefoot was gross, but slightly less embarrassing.

I wasn’t sure why I even cared anymore, when the person who meant the most to me already knew how awful I was.

On my way out of the apartment, I saw that Zac was no longer sitting on the couch. I made it all the way to the door before Taylor called out my name. I paused for just a second, and that was my mistake. That gave him time to rush to my side and grab my arm to stop me from leaving. Cursing his long legs and stealth movements, I spun around and glared at him.

“What do you want? Haven’t you fucked up my life enough lately?”

“I think you’re doing a pretty good job of that yourself,” Taylor replied. “But I’m sorry, alright? My brother… he makes no sense. I _know_ he wants you. God, don’t you see that? You’re both so blinded by your own feelings for each other that you don’t even notice the other person. But right now, I don’t know what he’s thinking. And I’m sorry that he’s being an ass.”

“Are you sorry that _you’re_ being an ass?” I asked, unable to even respond to anything else he had said. It was all too ridiculous to even consider.

“You should be used to that from me by now,” Taylor said. “But yeah, sure, whatever. I’m sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. It was the least sincere apology I had ever heard. “Yeah, alright. Can I go now?”

“You’re free to go any time.” As if to prove his point, Taylor made a show of releasing my arm from his grasp. “Try not to be too pissed off at me, alright? But please, be pissed off at Zac. He’s an asshole.”

“It clearly runs in the family,” I replied, grabbing the doorknob and hurrying out before Taylor could say anything else so stupid.

Just before the door slammed behind me, I heard him call out, “He really does love you, too, I promise!”

Yeah, right.

Taylor might have technically known Zac for longer than I had, but in this instance, I was positive that he was absolutely wrong about his brother. Zac didn’t have feelings for me, too. If he did, he would have fought for me more. Not just given up and let me be. He would have done _something_ to prove that he wanted me more than Taylor did?

Wouldn’t he?

I was starting to wonder if I knew him at all anymore.

Ever since he had started dating Bella behind my back, Zac had been a mystery to me. I never knew what he was thinking anymore or what he wanted. I had always thought I knew him and he knew me better than anyone else, but that wasn’t true, was it? After all, he was clueless about my feelings for him.

And if he was clueless about _my_ feelings….

No, it wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t. There was no way he had felt the same way all along and I hadn’t known. It was even less believable that _Taylor_ had known. But hadn’t Taylor been the one to suggest that sleeping with him would make Zac jealous? Why would it make Zac jealous if he didn’t have feelings for me?

Zac didn’t have feelings for me, I told myself. It was just impossible. Then I looked down at my outfit, complete with stilettos dangling from my hand, and realized that a few months ago, I would have said that me taking the walk of shame from Taylor’s apartment was impossible, too.


	29. Douchecanoe

With everything that had happened between myself, Zac and Taylor lately, I hadn’t really thought very much about the person I had (mostly jokingly) branded as my arch nemesis—Bella. Sure, we still had a class together, but it wasn’t a small class; it was easy to sit on the opposite side of the room and ignore her entirely. 

Since the collaborative part of our Harry Potter project was in the past, there was no reason for me to even acknowledge that Bella and I were in the same room at all. It wasn’t heaven, but it was pretty damn close.

Somehow, even with everything else going on in my life, I had managed to finish the next draft of the project on my own. After Dr. Marley turned off The Green Mile and flipped the lights back on, I stood with the rest of the class to turn in two copies of my paper, and because that was just my luck, Bella ended up standing directly behind me.

“Georgina,” she called after me as I tried to scurry away. “Georgina!” 

The louder she yelled, the faster I walked. We were absolutely causing a scene, and I didn’t care a bit. No, that was a lie. I cared. I hated being the center of attention like that. But I didn’t care a bit what Bella had to say to me. She was probably just going to tell me thanks for getting with Taylor because it had convinced Zac to come running back to her or something.

No, thanks. That was a conversation I could definitely live without.

A hand appeared out of nowhere and jerked me into one of the classrooms along the wall. Dizzy and reeling, I barely even registered that it was the devil himself—also known as Jordan Taylor Hanson—who had effectively rescued me from Bella.

“Oh, Georgie girl,” Taylor said. “What would you do without me?”

“Still be best friends with Zac, for one.”

Taylor chuckled, and I wanted to punch him. “Oh, but your life would be so much less interesting. And you’re not even going to thank me at all for rescuing you from Delta Dawn.” 

“If I weighed that against all the reasons I had to curse your name, I think you’d be long dead.”

“You wound me, Georgie,” Taylor said. “You really do.”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you actually want something or are you just trying to gloat over saving me and pout because I don’t give a shit?”

“I just wanted to make sure we were okay,” he said, sounding strangely sincere. It was an odd look for him.

“We are not now nor will we ever be okay. Maybe someday, when this has somehow blown over and Zac is actually speaking to me again. Maybe. But even then, probably not.”

Taylor sighed. “Look, I didn’t wanna say this, but you kinda only have yourself to blame now. You wanna prove to Zac that you want him and get him to finally see what’s been in front of him all along? Sleeping with me again is probably not gonna do it.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I asked. “You think I haven’t been beating myself up for it? You think—you know what. Nevermind. I can’t talk to you about this.”

My words were barely intelligible, breaking off into a sob at the end. I hated Taylor even more for opening the floodgates, making me talk to him until I broke down and cried because he was right. It _was_ my fault; regardless of the situation he put me in, I didn’t have to go through with it. I could have and should have walked away.

But I didn’t. And now here I was in some random empty classroom, crying on his shoulder—literally.

As soon as the waterworks started, Taylor pulled me into his arms, and it just made me hate him more. Because I didn’t really hate him at all. I knew to expect him to be an asshole, and as long as I remembered that, I could tolerate him. For reasons I didn’t understand, we really were friends. Friends who picked on each other constantly and had nothing in common, but friends. 

The one and only thing we had in common was Zac. He was the reason we had met in the first place, and he was the thing making my life so difficult now.

It would almost be easier if I did just date Taylor, I realized. Sure, I would never feel for him what I felt for 

Zac, but at least that would mean he could never break my heart the way Zac could and did on practically a daily basis.

As soon as this thought occurred to me, I realized that I really was losing it. I pulled away from Taylor and wiped my eyes, not caring if I smeared makeup all over my face.

“I, umm, I should go,” I stuttered out, still hiccuping as I struggled to stop crying. “Thanks for rescuing me or whatever. Whatever lets you feel like a knight in shining armor and not the douchecanoe you really are.”

Surprisingly, Taylor didn’t put up a fight. He dropped his arms to his sides and just… let me go. Just like that. I was so shocked that I tripped over my own feet on my way out of the room, and I was in such a hurry to get away that I barely even noticed who was coming out of the room across the hall. But then I heard Molly’s distinctive high-pitched giggle, and my head whipped up to see where the sound had come from.

Sure enough, there was Molly, stepping out of a small classroom that could be booked for TA sessions and things. A few other students were milling around, but she was practically glued to the side of a tall guy with strawberry blonde hair. I didn’t recognize him at all, but he looked older—it was something about the beard or the way he dressed in jeans and a blazer—and I guessed that he was the TA.

“Oh, Georgina,” Molly said, her eyes widening as she suddenly noticed me. They widened further as she glanced over my shoulder. “And… Taylor.”

“Umm, hey,” I choked out.

“Well, this is awkward,” Taylor said. “And as much as I would like to stick around and see how much more awkward it could possibly get, I think I’ve met my douchebag quota for the day.”

I watched him walk away, then turned back to Molly. She seemed to snap out of a trance then and glanced at her companion, then back at me. “Oh, George. This is Parker. He’s the TA for my Russian history class. We’ve got a big test coming up next week.”

“But she’s going to do fine,” Parker cut in. “Just like she has on every test so far.”

“Thanks to you,” Molly replied.

It was almost too obvious to be real. But it couldn’t be, right? I was positive that was against college policies. This Parker guy could lose his scholarship if he and Molly were actually dating. But that would definitely explain why Molly had been so reluctant to tell me who she was dating. She wasn’t just being shy and coy; she was protecting his job and scholarship.

I cleared my throat, hoping to make them realize how awkward and obvious they were being. “Well, I think… I guess I’m gonna head over to the student center and get some lunch. Umm, if you guys wanna come with…”

Molly looked up at Parker, and he gave a tiny little shake of his head. It was almost imperceptible, but I saw it. I still didn’t quite believe my eyes, though. It was almost as absurd as my thing with Taylor. Okay, maybe not _that_ absurd. And if that could be real…

“I actually have another tutoring session in a few minutes,” Parker said, and I suspected he was lying. Molly seemed to think so too, but she didn’t call him out on it. What good would it have done if she did?

Molly gave him one last look, then looked back at me. “I’ll head over with you, but I have class this afternoon. I’ll have to grab something quick.”

“No worries,” I said. “I don’t have much of an appetite after the conversation I just had, anyway.”

Molly grinned. “Well, I was curious before, but now I definitely need to hear all about it.”

I just rolled my eyes and scurried on ahead of her. I wasn’t mad at all, but I definitely didn’t want to talk about what had just happened. Taylor had, surprisingly, kept his mouth shut about me and Zac, and so for now, he was the only person who knew the truth. I still had no clue how to explain it to Molly and Peyton. Sure, it wasn’t as bad as being with Taylor, but putting it all into context… it still looked pretty bad.

But I had a feeling I was going to have to figure out how to explain it to them, and fast.

When we walked into the student center, Peyton was already seated at our usual table. I took my time getting a burrito, but even that time didn’t allow me to formulate a good way to explain my situation to them. 

I was screwed. And not in the good way.

“Hey, George,” Peyton said when I sat down. “Molly came in with you, right? I think I saw Zac, too.”

“Umm, I don’t know,” I replied. “I mean, I haven’t seen him. But yeah, Molly is—”

“Right here,” she said, plopping down in a seat next to me. Waving her arm toward someone in line for pizza, she called out, “Zac! We’ve got another seat!”

His only response was to scowl and turn his back to us.

“What the hell?” Molly asked. “I thought he was over that whole thing about you and Taylor. Not that I would blame him if he wasn’t, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I replied, feeling my face heating up. This was not going to be a fun conversation at all. “It’s not exactly because of me and Taylor. Well, it is but it’s… well. It’s just. Frankly, a total clusterfuck.”

“That seems an especially appropriate word,” Peyton remarked.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t disagree. “You have no idea how right you are. It’s not… it’s not just because I slept with Taylor. But because I may have kinda sorta slept with Zac too. And then Taylor again.”

Why waste in any more time, I figured. Might as well just rip the band-aid off all at once and get it over with. And then run away and hide from my best friends’ reactions.

“Can we back up to the part where you slept with Zac?” Peyton asked. 

“I don’t know, is that _really_ the most fucked up part of that sentence?” Molly shook her head.

I groaned and laid my head down on the table, not caring that it probably hadn’t been cleaned in my lifetime. My voice a bit muffled, I replied, “I think _I’m_ the most fucked up part of that sentence.”

“So, okay, you cheated on Zac with Taylor,” Peyton said. “I can see why he’d be pissed.”

My head snapped up and I shook it vigorously. “No, no, no. Zac and I weren’t dating. I mean, I don’t think we were. He definitely never said we were or acted like we were, aside from… well, what happened. Which was just twice. And when he found out about me and Taylor—again—he just gave up and walked away. No indication whatsoever that he was gonna fight for me or that he wanted to or wanted me or anything. I get that he’s pissed off, but…”

“And you think he would be pissed off if he didn’t have feelings for you?” Molly raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know!” I squealed, attracting the attention of a nearby table. Lowering my voice, I continued, “I really don’t know what he’s thinking. He gets upset, yeah, but I don’t know. Jealousy? If he’s never going to act like he loves me too—let alone admit it--how can he act so jealous?”

“But why would he act so jealous… if he didn’t?”

I shook my head again. “No. No way. He just… doesn’t. He doesn’t love me.”

I didn’t sound very convincing, I realized. There was a good reason for that. I wasn’t so sure I believed what I was saying at all.

Could Zac really be in love with me too?

He couldn’t be… or could he?


	30. With That Mouth

I didn’t feel any better after confessing my sins to Molly and Peyton, and of course, it didn’t change anything. Zac was still ignoring me, and I was still doing my best to avoid Taylor. My last night with him had to be the _last_ night, even if I feared it was past the point of Zac ever believing that I didn’t want Taylor the way that I wanted him. I had to prove a point at least to myself, if to no one else.

With both of them out of my life, I didn’t have much of a social life at all. Instead I became entirely devoted to my classes, like the true nerd that I was. I spent late nights in the library, coming back to the apartment so late that I rarely crossed paths with my roommates at all. Not that I minded, given that neither of them really knew how to act around me after my confession. 

The study rooms on the second floor of the library were the best place to avoid people, and if you got there just around dinner time, they were usually free. I had learned to avoid Tuesday nights, because that was when the football team was required to study—which apparently translated to eating Taco Bueno and being generally loud and rowdy. Any other night, though, and I was usually able to secure a nice, quiet study room in which to avoid the world.

That Thursday, I’d settled in to get down to work on an essay about romantic comedies—because it was just my luck that my genre class would be studying what my life had become--but I couldn’t really concentrate. Only a few minutes had passed, yet it felt like hours. When someone opened the door, which I had failed to lock, I nearly jumped out of my skin in surprise.

And of course, because that was just my luck, it was Zac.

“Oh,” he said, blinking at me a few times before narrowing his eyes. “George.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” I replied as cheerfully as I could manage, which turned out to be not very cheerful at all.

“I’ll find another room,” he said.

“Sure,” I said. “Because it’s not like two best friends can share a study room. And that’s what we are, right? Best friends? Best enemies?”

“I don’t know what the hell we are,” Zac spat, stepping into the room and letting the door slam behind him.

For a few moments, we just stared at each other. I barely even recognized the guy standing in front of me, and I had a feeling he felt the same way about me. Even if Zac had never known how I felt about him, he certainly never would have expected me to sleep with Taylor. Not that I expected me to, either. And when it came right down to it, I never expected to sleep with Zac, either. I never expected to feel more used by him than I did by Taylor. I never expected any of this. And if it surprised me… it had to shock the hell out of Zac.

“Are you just going to stand there?” I asked. “Normally people use these rooms for studying. Or so I hear.”

“And what are you studying this semester? The male anatomy?”

I rolled my eyes. “That was the absolute worst joke ever. I expect better than that from you.”

“Yeah, well, I expected better from you, too,” Zac mumbled, but there was a bite to his words that surprised me—and scared me a little. 

I didn’t remember the last time I had really seen Zac’s temper in action, but I knew he was not to be messed with when he was angry. Sometimes I couldn’t resist poking the bear, but right then, it really didn’t seem worth the trouble.

Shaking my head, I gathered up my books and my laptop and shoved them all in my messenger bag. I stood up and headed for the door, but Zac quickly flipped the lock, its click echoing through the room, and stepped right into my path.

“What the fuck?” I asked. “What is your problem now?”

Instead of actually answering me, Zac stepped in closer and wrapped his hand around the back of my neck. For a split second, I thought he was going to hit me or something, but instead… he kissed me. It wasn’t the sort of sweet, awkward kiss we’d shared before. This was more like his brother than I really wanted to think about—forceful, passionate and utterly confusing.

But even being confused and angry couldn’t stop me from giving in to him.

I shrugged off my messenger bag and grabbed fistfuls of Zac’s t-shirt to pull him even closer to me. My bag hit the floor with a dull thud; Zac kicked it to the side and began walking me backward toward the table. Part of my mind was screaming at me to stop, that we were still in public, but the door was locked and had only small sliver of a window in it anyway. And besides, I knew I was incapable of stopping. 

Zac’s hands slithered between us, fumbling with the button on my jeans. I attempted to help, letting out a yelp as I connected with the table behind me. As though I weighed nothing at all, Zac grasped my hips and lifted me up onto the edge of the table. He backed away and began peeling his own clothing off, and I was so distracted by the sight that I nearly forgot that _I_ needed to get naked as well.

Of course, Zac had not forgotten.

Once he’d found a condom in his wallet and pushed his jeans down to his ankles, he went back to work on my jeans, raising goosebumps on my legs as he pulled the denim down. I managed to kick my shoes off so that he could take my jeans off entirely. I let out a gasp as Zac shoved my panties aside and slid a finger into me with essentially no warning at all.

“Oh, god,” I groaned, my head falling back. 

“I usually go by Zac,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. He was worse than Taylor—in so, so many ways. And yet… I loved him as much as I hated him. Right then, I wasn’t sure which emotion was stronger. With another groan, I replied, “Just shut up and fuck me.”

“Do you kiss my brother with that mouth?” Zac asked.

“I’m not going to kiss you with it if you don’t stop acting like you’re PMSing,” I shot back.

Zac’s only response was to lean in and kiss me, whether I liked it or not. Of course, I liked it, and I kissed him back with just as much fervor. I hardly even noticed his hands working to slip my panties off and slip the condom on, but I snapped back to reality when I felt his dick brushing against my inner thigh. 

I let out a pathetic whine and tried to inch closer to him. I knew I looked so pathetic, but I really didn’t care. He had to realize by now just how much I wanted him, at least physically. Judging by the way he was grinding against me, his fingernails digging into my thighs, Zac wanted me just as badly.

In that moment, that was enough. 

I didn’t care about the fighting. I didn’t care that he may have actually hated me. I didn’t care that I should have been with him all along, not Taylor. I didn’t care about anything but Zac hovering over me, breathing heavily and trembling ever so lightly.

Finally, after what felt like years of teasing rather than just seconds, Zac shifted his hips into position and thrust into me. He let out a soft sigh, and I was positive he had never, ever looked more gorgeous. I reached up and touched the side of his face, then let my hand fall down to his chest as he began to roll his hips, building up a slow but steady rhythm. 

The rest of the world dropped away and it was just me and Zac. Nothing else in the word existed except the table that was keeping me from completely collapsing into a puddle on the floor. My ass was going to hurt tomorrow, I was sure, but right then I really didn’t care. Zac placed his hands on either side of me, knuckles turning white as he pressed his palms onto the table to brace himself as he thrust even harder into me. I was going to be bruised, beaten and sore in the morning, and I was loving every minute of the torture.

It all seemed to be over in an instant, yet last forever, at the same time. Suddenly fireworks were going off on the back of my eyelids and I was biting my lip to keep from screaming out loud, a tiny voice at the back of my mind reminding me that we were still in public, after all. Zac let out a low growl but otherwise seemed to contain himself, thrusting deeply into me and staying that way for a moment until he let out a shudder.

“God…” Zac gasped out, then seemed to snap back to reality. He pulled back and glanced around the room, as though he had just realized the reality of what we had done.

I could do little more than sit on the table and stare at him, closing my legs quickly when he backed away and began peeling off the condom like it was going to hurt him or something. He tossed it into the small trash can by the door, his lip curling in what I could only assume was disgust.

Was he disgusted with himself? With me? I didn’t even know anymore.

I watched him fumble to redress and I stuttered, but couldn’t manage to form any actual words. I wanted so badly to ask Zac what the fuck he thought he was doing, but I couldn’t. I was too much of a coward. I had a feeling, though, that Zac couldn’t have answered anyway. He was just as clueless about what was happening between us as I was.

Not knowing what else to say, I simply blushed and asked, “Can you hand me my panties?”

Zac just nodded and picked up the little piece of lime green lace, holding it with just two fingers and flinging it in my direction. I rolled my eyes again, vaguely noting that Zac was seriously giving them a workout.

“Are you afraid they’re going bite you?” I asked. “Or afraid of what you’ll catch? Because I’m pretty sure the ship has sailed on that one. You’re not going to get anything from my panties that you couldn’t get from sticking your dick in me, and you can’t seem to stop doing that, so…”

“’Sticking my dick in you?’” Zac echoed, snarling. “You make it sound so appealing.”

“It must be.” I shrugged, sliding off the table and into my underwear. “I mean, you keep doing it. What does that say about you? You’re acting like it says so much more about me, but I’m pretty sure whatever it says about me, you’re just as bad.”

Zac glanced down, his eyelashes fluttering in that way that made butterflies flutter up in my stomach. “Yeah, well, I’d say we’re both pretty bad here.”

“Finally something we can agree on,” I replied, brushing past him to retrieve my jeans.

I turned my back to him as I wiggled back into them, tired of having his eyes on me. I had wanted him to look at me as a sexual being but not as a sex object. Now I really wasn’t so sure which of those he saw me as, but I knew that I couldn’t tolerate his gaze on me for so long. 

How had things gone so wrong? I had finally gotten what I wanted, or so I thought, by getting Zac into bed with me. And he obviously _still_ wanted me. And yet…

“Can you just go?” I asked, still feeling the heat of Zac’s stare on me. 

“Yeah,” he rasped, some emotion in his voice that I didn’t dare turn around to try to identify in his eyes. I couldn’t look at him at all.

With my back to him, I could hear him shuffling around, and finally, a moment later, the click of the lock being turned and the woosh of the door opening. It clicked back into place, signaling his departure, and my tears started to fall.

Sure, I had what I thought I wanted, but it was all wrong. It had all gotten so twisted and turned into something so, so different from what I had hoped.


	31. In Hell

After my encounter with Zac in the study room, I decided I might just never go back to the library again. It was a drastic response, yes, but it seemed necessary. Between him and Taylor, I didn’t want to even think about what might happen the next time I set foot on the second floor of Edmon Low library. 

Instead, I started spending late nights in the lounge next to Dr. Marley’s office. I had a key, since the literary magazine met there a couple afternoons a month, and Dr. Marley didn’t mind. The campus security officers didn’t come through to lock the building up until midnight, but rarely did I stay that late anyway. Sometimes, though, I did. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone, Hanson or otherwise, and so staying locked up in a creepy, otherwise empty lecture hall seemed like a good way to accomplish that goal.

It really did get creepy that late, though, and I usually ended up practically sprinting back to the dorm once the scariness started to get to me. On one such late night, I was surprised to hear voices when I unlocked and opened the suite door. Well, one voice, I realized. As I stepped inside, I saw that Molly was sitting curled up on the couch with her phone to her ear and a huge smile on her face. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” she said, then giggled. I didn’t even want to know.

I cleared my throat to alert her to my presence, since she was so wrapped up in her phone conversation that she hadn’t seemed to notice me at all. 

She jumped several inches clear of her seat and her face turned bright red. “Umm, I’ve gotta go. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later. Text you before I go to bed; I promise.”

I just stared at her as she ended the call, my hands on my hips in silent judgment. Molly looked blankly up at me, like what I had just witnessed wasn’t unusual at all and she didn’t have anything to explain. Of course, she really didn’t. It had all been too obvious the day that I had seen her and Parker together. She was dating her TA; it was clear. That was why she wouldn’t admit who her secret boyfriend was. 

“Well?” I finally asked. “How is the boytoy?”

“He’s not my--” Molly began, then cut herself off and giggled. “Okay, I was talking to the guy I’ve been seeing. You caught me.”

“I most certainly did,” I replied, plopping down onto the couch next to her. “Want to tell me who he was or do I just have to guess?”

Molly buried her head in her hands, but I could still see that her cheeks were bright red. “I have a feeling you could make a pretty damn good guess.”

“I think I could too,” I said. “Starts with a P and ends with an arker?”

She groaned. “Were we really that obvious?”

“Blatantly,” I replied.

She groaned again, the sound muffled only slightly since her face was still covered by her hands. “What am I gonna do, Georgie? He could lose his scholarship. It’s so stupid! It’ll be perfectly fine next semester, but just because he could see my grades or whatever, it’s some sort of academic dishonesty thing.”

“It kinda is, though,” I replied, trying to be as gentle as possible. “I mean, think about it. Some professors let their TAs do the grading; if I were Zac’s TA and he was getting a bad grade, I’d wanna know. And since we already know I have no scruples, at least where Hanson brothers are concerned, I’d probably feel compelled to change his grade or at least let him know in advance so he could try to do better. It wouldn’t be fair to the other students. I’m not saying Parker would do any of that; I don’t even know the guy. But it doesn’t look good.”

“Trust me, I’ve thought about how it looks,” Molly said. “Plus, he’s twenty five. That doesn’t look so great either, does it?”

“Do you really think I’m in any position to judge, given the things I’ve done with not one, but two, Hanson brothers?” I asked, attempting to smile or at least smirk, but even my poor attempt at humor was just that—poor. It wasn’t funny at all.

Molly finally looked up at me. “How do you deal with it? Don’t you feel guilty? I’m not trying to judge you, I swear. Because I’m not in much of a position to either, but I swear, this is tearing me apart. How are you even still sane?”

“At this point, I’m not so sure that I am,” I replied. “I mean, what sane woman has sex with Taylor at all, let alone after realizing she might finally have a chance with Zac? Seriously, what was I thinking? Now Zac won’t even talk to me, except to insult me. Taylor swears it’s somehow proof that he loves me too, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel like he does. Feels a lot more like hate.”

I couldn’t even bring myself to mention what had happened in the library. How could I even explain that? It certainly didn’t make me look any better, nor did it shed any light on how Zac actually felt about me.

“Maybe he doesn’t know how to express what he’s really thinking or feeling,” Molly suggested. “But if he didn’t have feelings for you, why would he be so upset?”

“Because I’m supposed to be his friend, yet I keep going behind his back and sleeping with his brother?” I offered. “Why are we still talking about me? This is about you and your boyfriend.”

Molly’s face turned bright read again. “Shh. Don’t say the b word. He’s just… this guy I’ve been seeing. Somehow that sounds better. I don’t know. It all sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know, Mol. I think we’ve both just made a big mess of this semester. Do you think if we wish hard enough, we can start it over?”

She stared at me. “But I really like him. I just… I just know we’re in deep shit if anyone finds out. That’s all. And what about you? Are you telling me you _really_ wanna go back to living in a world where you haven’t had sex with Zac?”

“If that was a world where I didn’t feel like he had just used me as part of some weird pissing contest with his brother, then yes. I would.”

I didn’t like to admit that, but I couldn’t take it back. Based on the look on her face, I’m not so sure that was the answer Molly was expecting. She stared at me for a moment, then sighed. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I need to get some sleep. Maybe things will magically look better in the morning, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe,” I replied, but I highly doubted it. 

Still, I gave Molly a smile and a reassuring hug before heading off to my bedroom. Zac still wouldn’t be speaking to me—at least not civilly--in the morning, I was sure, so I didn’t see how things could possibly look better.  
But I had no other option but to face tomorrow the best that I could.

With that thought in mind, I headed to my bathroom, which I was glad to have all to myself now, to brush my teeth and wash off my makeup. I left my hair up in a messy bun when I was finished so that it wouldn’t try to strangle me in my sleep, a valid fear for someone with such long, crazy hair as I had. With that done, I padded to my bedroom and changed into a pair of My Little Pony pajama pants and an old t-shirt from my high school. I had no one to impress and no chance of running into Taylor or Zac, so I really didn’t care how much of a slob I looked. What did it matter anymore?

As I settled into bed, I thought about my conversation with Molly. 

I hated talking about my situation over and over, but it was still news to her, I supposed. It just didn’t accomplish anything to think or talk about it. Zac hated me. That much was clear. Even if he _did_ have feelings for me, they seemed way more sexual than emotional. And whatever they were, they clearly weren’t enough for him to overlook what I had done, and I didn’t blame him for that. I understood that, and if I had been sober enough to think things through properly, I would have realized it soon enough to stop myself from sleeping with Taylor again. But I wasn’t, and now I just had to live with the consequences. What else could I do?

Then there was Molly’s situation… it was bad, but she was making it out to be so much worse than it needed to be. After all, she had a boyfriend who she clearly liked, maybe even loved, and he clearly had strong feelings for her, too. They were happy. Sure, they were also scared of being discovered, and that was definitely a real fear, but I envied them anyway.

Why couldn’t I have something good like that? Why did I have to screw everything up and lose the one chance I had at maybe having an actual relationship?

Who was I kidding? There was no chance of ever having a relationship with Zac. It was hopeless. Whatever he felt for me… it wasn’t like that. And if it was, I had screwed it all up over and over again.

I groaned and smashed my face against my pillow, hoping to muffle the sound. Or suffocate myself. Putting myself out of my misery sounded like a great idea right then. That was a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but not much. The more I thought about how stupid I was and how much I had fucked up everything, the more tears gathered in my eyes and began to spill over. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d cried myself to sleep, but I was sure it had been over Zac, too.

The worst part about crying yourself to sleep, I decided, was that it was really a misnomer. You don’t fall asleep like that. You lay awake, torturing yourself with thoughts of the reason you’re crying, and the more you cry, the more physically uncomfortable—and awake—you become. By the time I finally started to feel sleepy, I’d gone through half a box of tissues and my head felt like it weighed a ton. 

I did, however, finally begin to fall asleep, but it wasn’t an easy, restful sort of sleep. I tossed and turned, drifting off for a few seconds or minutes before jolting back to consciousness completely confused. It was terrible.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, I practically passed out, but it wasn’t destined to last.

Loud, giggly voices woke me first, quickly following by what sounded like fifty fists banging on my door. I leaped out of bed, wondering what in the world could be happening. I feared the worst, even though I had no clue what that could be, and my heart was pounding as I opened my door… revealing a gaggle of giggling Tri Deltas. 

“What fresh hell is this?” I croaked out, blinking my sleepy eyes at them, hoping that once my vision came into focus, I would see that my initial impression was wrong. No such luck.

“Surprise!” Bella cried out, wiggling her way to the front of the group and grabbing my arm. You’re invited to a Come As You Are party at the Delta Delta Delta House!”

As she drug me out of my room, my fuzzy toe socks not creating any traction to stop my movement, I groaned. “Why do I get the feeling this isn’t the sort of invitation I can decline?”

“Of course it isn’t!” A bleach blonde I didn’t know giggled, shoving me along. “Who turns down a Tri Delta party?”

My initial impression had been right, I decided. I had cried myself to sleep, and woken up in hell.


	32. Social Totem Pole

I was definitely in hell. There was no question about that.

My toe socks were damp and leaves clung to them, their stems stabbing the bottom of my feet. The hems of my pajama pants were damp too, but I hadn’t shaved my legs that day, so I couldn’t really roll them up. My hair refused to stay out of my eyes, defying the messy bun I’d put it in before attempting to sleep—a sleep that was very rudely interrupted by that gaggle of determined sorority bitches, I should add.

Looking around at the party, I noticed a trend. Nearly every other girl seemed to be in cutesy lingerie. There were any number of fluffy, lacy things wandering around, and just as many in little shorts with PINK and JUICY and the like scrawled across their asses. Compared to them, I was nothing. At least, judging by all the attention I _wasn’t_ getting from all the guys at the party. And as for them, the guys were mostly in just their boxers, dozens upon dozens of chiseled abs on display.

Except for one guy who stood out like as much of a sore thumb as I did.

Zac was standing in a corner, his arms crossed over his bare chest. He looked adorable, and it was only partially because of his Star Wars boxers. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I hated myself. Even though _he_ hated _me_ , I couldn’t stop pining for him, not even after our frustrating, awkward encounter in the library. It was just never ending. I would never get away from my feelings for him.

That wasn’t to say that I wasn’t still angry with him for the whole library thing the week before. I was furious. But more than that, I was confused. More and more, I was beginning to think all of my friends might be onto something. There really was no other explanation for Zac’s behavior other than jealousy. But jealousy meant he actually had feelings for me. And I still wasn’t quite ready to believe that.

Whatever the explanation was, it didn’t really change how it made me feel. He called me horrible names, insulted me left and right and then… expected me to want to have sex with him? Of course, I did. But the fact that I was pathetic enough to still want him in spite of his horrible behavior was beside the point.

I just really, really didn’t understand Zac Hanson at all, and I was tired of trying to figure him out. Maybe some puzzles didn’t need to be solved. Maybe, if you did solve them, you wouldn’t like the answer.

Of course, Zac spotted me staring at him. That was just my luck. To my complete surprise, he began squeezing and shoving his way through the crowd, walking directly toward me. I looked to my left and right, trying to find someone else he could possibly be heading for, but I knew this wasn’t Zac’s crowd. The only person here he could possibly be looking for was me. 

He stopped right in front of me and rocked back and forth awkwardly on his heels. “So, did you get drug here against your will, too?”

“Like being drug to hell, huh?” I replied, then clamped my mouth shut. Why was I being civil to him? I stared at Zac for a moment, my anger increasing, before I managed to ask, “When did you decide to start speaking to me again?”

“I never—” He began, then cut himself off and shook his head, obviously not even able to continue with the lie. “We talked the other day.”

“In the library?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “We argued. And then we fucked. It certainly wasn’t anything resembling a civil conversation. I don’t think we’ve had one of those all semester.”

Zac tilted his head to the side. “Why do you think that is?”

“I could think of a few reasons,” I answered honestly. I wasn’t sure if he was asking a real question or making yet another accusation, so I left it at that. But the real answer was that it all began with the same person who was to blame for me being in the middle of this party from hell, the person who had been making my entire semester hell—Bella.

“Yeah, well, none of them explain why you’re the one who’s so upset with me, when as far as I can tell I haven’t done a single thing to—”

I slapped my hand over Zac’s mouth. “I’m just going to stop you right there. You really think you haven’t done anything? You literally just mentioned the library and your creepy, bipolar behavior in said library, and you think you haven’t done anything? Do you actually have split personalities? Because I really can’t think of any other explanation for this.”

“But I—I mean, well,” Zac stuttered out, then shook his head. “You know, I guess I understand after all. I mean, you made it pretty clear you were only into Taylor. So no wonder you’re so upset about having sex with me.”

“Yeah, of course,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “ _That’s_ the real problem here. Fantastic deductive reasoning skills you have.”

Before Zac could formulate any sort of reply to that, my nightmare decided that it just wasn’t bad enough. It had to kick things up a notch, presumably just to fuck with me. If I hadn’t been so rudely pulled out of bed—by the nightmare with perfect hair currently walking toward me—I wouldn’t even believe I was awake. This was the sort of horrible scenario that was more suited to bad dreams than reality, but after such a bad semester, I should have been prepared for anything.

“What the hell is _he_ doing here?” Bella screeched, looking like she was about to start shooting steam out of her ears. 

I was confused. This wasn’t planned? Embarrass me in front of the guy I wanted the most? It almost made sense, I supposed, and it wasn’t as though Bella knew that Zac had already seen me at my worst. It almost made sense, but not quite, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask for any sort of explanation.

A taller girl who I thought looked like one of her older sorority sisters walked over and gave her a very fake looking smile. “We thought you’d enjoy seeing your little boytoy. You don’t?”

Bella stared the girl down, looking as though another outburst were imminent. Instead, she glanced around before settling on another girl who, surprisingly, wasn’t bleach blonde. Looking somewhere between confused and pleading, she said, “I thought you were going to bring his brother, not him.”

“And how would that have worked out?” The tall one interjected. “I mean, do you really want Ginger Spice and Taylor in the same room? In their underwear? Do you _really_ think that would end well for you?”

For her? I was so perplexed by that choice of words that I barely even registered the fact that she had called me Ginger Spice. Was it a compliment or an insult? She certainly seemed to be insulting Bella, though. I didn’t entirely understand _why_ , but her tone of voice was pretty clear, even if nothing else about their conversation was.

“Yeah, Bella,” the girl she’d tried to appeal to said. “We just thought we’d try to help out, see if we could play matchmaker and get you two back together. I think it’s time to accept Zac is the only Hanson brother you’re going to land.”

“I feel like I should be insulted by that,” Zac cut in. “But you know what? I’m not. Not at all.”

Everyone, even the few random bystanders who weren’t involved in the conversation at all, stared at Zac for a moment. I don’t think any of them realized someone lower than them on the social totem pole was actually capable of speech, let alone speech that insulted one of their kind. A few of them glanced to me next, but not for long; obviously Ginger Spice was of little interest to them. No, it was clear they all wanted to see what Bella would say next, and I had to admit that I was curious too. 

As for Bella herself… she seemed to have lost the power of speech. Her mouth flopped open uselessly, and I would have laughed if I weren’t so nervous for how this was all going to play out. After a moment, she just huffed and stomped away.

I wasn’t entirely sure what I had just witnessed. If I weren’t so confused by Zac deciding to talk to me, I might have been even more amused by her sorority sisters attempting to embarrass Bella at this party, too. As it was, I was too embarrassed and flustered myself to really devote much thought to Bella’s takedown at her own “sisters” hands. I could worry about that later, once I’d gotten Zac to take the hint and leave me alone.

“Well, that was awkward,” Zac said, chuckling softly.

“Are we really going to act like nothing is wrong?” I asked. “You’re just suddenly talking to me again. After the entire conversation we just had before that episode of True Life: I’m A Sorority Slut. After… after everything.”

“I’m the one who was mad at you,” Zac replied, leaning in closer to me, even though it wasn’t like anyone else at the party was paying any attention us now that Bella had stormed off. “Now you’re upset because I’m talking to you? Is that the problem now? First it was because I wanted to have sex with you. Now it’s because I’m trying to play nice? You make absolutely no sense at all, Georgie. You really don’t.”

“Why are we having this conversation here? Why are we still here to begin with?” I glanced around, and shook my head. 

This was stupid. Whatever they had planned to embarrass us, it wasn’t working. Somehow, Bella had only managed to make a fool of herself instead. But the longer I stayed here arguing in circles with Zac, the greater the chances of something bad happening… something _else_ bad, that was.

I nudged Zac aside and scurried toward the door. I was sure I didn’t look imposing or even angry at all, given my attire, but I didn’t care. I just had to get out of there, and I could only hope that Zac didn’t follow me. 

Knowing my luck, though…


	33. Dumbasses

I didn’t dare look back as I shoved my way through the crowded party. Whatever entertainment we had provided those fraternity and sorority idiots seemed to pass quickly, thank god, and hardly anyone even noticed little old me trying to elbow my way out. 

It took more effort than it should have, but finally, I was free. The porch of the Delta Delta Delta house was crowded with people too but I pushed through that crowd as well and down the steps. I made it all the way to the sidewalk before I heard him, though if I were honest, I knew all along that Zac was right behind me.

“Georgie! Wait, George!”

And of course, I stopped. What else could I do, weak and pathetic person that I was? I could protest all I wanted, but I would always give in to Zac.

I stared him down. “Are we going to do this here? In the middle of the street?”

“Why not?” Zac shrugged, then gave me a sneer. “You’re modest now? After what you did with Taylor?”

I shook my head and walked away from him as fast as my sock covered feet would carry me, which admittedly wasn’t very fast at all. I could hear Zac following behind me, his feet shuffling against the sidewalk, but he didn’t speak. He stayed complete silent as we made our way through Greek Row, and didn’t speak at all until we had crossed back onto campus, away from the raucous fraternity and sorority parties that were now little more than a dull roar far in the distance.

“Look, will you just talk to me?” Zac asked a little more gently, his change in tone surprising me enough to make me stop in my tracks. “I just—I don’t understand. I really, really don’t understand. You told me why you did that with Taylor to begin with, and I didn’t really understand then, but I tried to. But then you and I—and, well, I just don’t get why you’d go back to Taylor after… after that.”

“I was drunk, Zac!” I exclaimed, my voice echoing in the thankfully empty quad as I spun back around to face him. 

“That is literally the only explanation I can give you, and it’s not a lie or an excuse. I was drunk, and obviously I thought he was you to begin with or I wouldn’t have even been in that situation. I don’t know how many more times I can explain that you before you accept that the most obvious answer—I was shitfaced—is the truth.”

“Okay, so let’s say that is the truth,” Zac said. “What does it change? You still did it.”

I stared at him. “It changes everything. Doesn’t it? It ought to. It wasn’t what I really wanted; all that shit about what people do when they’re drunk being what they really want, it’s bullshit. Like you’ve never done anything while drunk that you regretted in the morning? Everyone has. And for what’s it worth, since only time will convince you that I mean it, I really didn’t plan to or want to sleep with Taylor again. ”

“But you did,” Zac replied. There was something new in his voice, something in his eyes… sadness? Could it really be?

“Yeah, I did,” I replied. “I slept with you too, and I still don’t know what the hell that was all about.”

He stared at me, eyelashes fluttering. “What do you mean?”

“Because I still just… I can’t believe that you didn’t just want me because of the way I was dressed. I mean, you damn sure hadn’t shown any sexual interest in me before then.”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” He asked, but his tone wasn’t all that accusing. He stepped in closer and brushed that damn piece of hair out of my eyes. “You looked gorgeous at my birthday party. I won’t deny that. But it wasn’t because of how you looked, at least not entirely. It was because you did it for me. I realized you wanted me to look at you that way, think of you that way. Sexually, I mean. You wanted me to notice you like you thought I hadn’t before. But right now? Even with Pinkie Pie pants on, you’re just as gorgeous. I swear.”

“Yeah, sure I am,” I mumbled, unable to make myself meet his eyes. If what Zac was saying was true… well, I didn’t really know what that meant. I didn’t know where this conversation was going at all. Everything seemed to have suddenly been turned upside down.

“You are,” Zac replied, kissing my forehead softly. “And anyway, that wasn’t the first time I’ve shown sexual interest in you. Or did you forget about that time sophomore year of high school?”

“I remember two awkward teenagers fooling around but not going all the way,” I remarked.

“Yeah, well,” he said. “It shouldn’t have been like that. I mean, you ought to know by now, your first time should be with someone you love. And I just… I wanted that for you. I didn’t want it to be some awkward experimental thing; I wanted you to be with someone you loved.”

I stared up at Zac. How much of a fucking idiot could he be? Forcing myself to look him in the eyes, I replied, “I would have been.”

“You,” he stuttered out. “You… what?” 

I shook my head, hoping to change the subject and distract him before he could figure out what I had just confessed. “Why would you even do anything with me if you weren’t going to go all the way? If you knew it shouldn’t have happened?”

“Because it was as close as I thought I could get!” He exclaimed, running his hand through his hair. His cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink. “That’s the truth, alright? I didn’t think—I mean, I didn’t want to take advantage of you like that when you just wanted to experiment. You just wanted to know what it was like and I… I wanted more.”

I stared at him blankly, then burst out laughing. What else could I do? The entire time, he’d wanted me too? And neither of us had admitted it because we were so convinced the other didn’t feel the same way? It was official; I was living in the world’s worst rom com movie. 

“What’s so fucking funny?” Zac asked, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. Maybe laughter hadn’t been the rest reaction.

“Zac,” I gasped out in between laughs. “It’s… you wanted _me_? This whole time? Did you not hear me just say I would have been with someone I loved if I’d lost my virginity to you?”

Zac rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, but—I mean. Like a brother?”

It was now or never. There was no point denying it anymore. Looking Zac right in the eyes, I shook my head. 

“You mean…” His eyes widened. 

“We’re idiots,” I replied. “That’s what I mean.” 

Zac stepped closer to me and gave me the saddest eyes and pout I’d ever seen from him. It really wasn’t fair; that look was absolutely irresistible. “But I'm your idiot. Would you really have it any other way, Georgie?”

“You really are an idiot. And a jerk and a bastard.” I crossed my arms. He had nothing on Taylor in that department, really, but if he was going to insult himself, I wasn’t going to stop him.

Zac nodded in agreement. “But I'm your idiot and your jerk. Georgie, sometimes I really have no clue what you’re thinking or feeling, but I know I wouldn't want to stop being your bastard, your idiot, and your jerk. I really enjoy it, actually.”

“You enjoy being a jerk?” I tilted my head to the side.

“Only if I’m yours,” he said softly, stepping in so close that our chests were practically touching.

“So you... like being mine?” My voice was barely above a whisper, and I barely dared to ask the question, but I had to know. I had to know if Zac really meant what I thought he meant.

“Always.” He kissed my forehead again. “And I like you being my bitch.”

I stared at him. Did he really just say that? As much as I wanted to be insulted, I wasn’t. “Zac, you... you really mean that? I mean, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Of course,” he replied, then kissed the corner of my mouth. “I mean it.”

“Then I like it too,” I said, standing on my tiptoes and pressing my forehead against his. “But we seriously are dumbasses.”

Zac opened his mouth to respond, and at the very same moment, the skies opened up above us. A few minutes earlier and I would have thought the rain was just proof of what deep circle of hell I was in, but as it was, it seemed like a ringing endorsement of our… relationship? Neither of us had said the word, but I was still certain that was what it was. Zac and I were finally dating.

“Come on!” I cried out, giggling. “Let’s get inside and out of this.”

Zac shook his head, his already damp hair splattering me with raindrops. “No way! Let’s play in the rain like we did when we were kids.”

“You’re insane,” I replied, but didn’t let go of his hand as he took off running into the wide open center of the quad where puddles always gathered. 

“Yeah,” Zac agreed. “But as we’ve already established, neither of us would have it any other way.”

“Just what I’ve always wanted,” I said smiling. “An absolutely insane boyfriend.”

I braced myself for Zac to correct me, but he didn’t. He just pulled me to him and kissed me right on the lips. Now we were suddenly in a _good_ rom com movie and I wanted it to never end. As we kissed and spun around and danced in the rain, I was absolutely positive that there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be. 

Except maybe somewhere with dry feet. But even my squishy, wet feet didn’t mar my good mood at all.


	34. Boyfriend and Girlfriend

Somehow, Zac and I made it back to my suite without running into anyone we knew. We crept quietly into my room and fell into bed together. If we woke Molly or Peyton, neither of them mentioned it when I saw them in the morning, and Zac managed to sneak out without being spotted.

It wasn’t that we were trying to hide our brand new relationship or anything. It was just that I had no idea how to explain it to the girls. I needed time to adjust to the idea that it was real before I could say it out loud, I supposed. In the end, Zac and I really just went back to life as usual for the rest of the weekend, texting and instant messaging with a few more hearts and smoochy faces than before, but otherwise unchanged. 

In the end, we didn’t spend any more time together over the weekend, with our excuse being how much work we had to do since the semester was winding down. It was a little weird to be dating yet acting like we always had, but I wasn’t sure what else I had expected. Things couldn’t magically change overnight, even if we had just made a big confession to each other. 

At least we were no longer fighting. That was a big enough change for me, even if everything else remained the same. Monday, when I went to the student center for lunch, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not Zac was going to sit with us and whether or not it would cause drama. I only had to worry about when and how we would tell everyone we were together.

It was nice to walk into the student center without the sense of dread I had felt for most of the semester. I joined the line at Baja Fresh, my favorite of all the restaurant choices, and tried to calm myself down. Of course I was happy, but I didn’t need to actually skip around or smile like an idiot all day. 

The smile was gone soon enough, when I spotted Taylor’s roommate Neil and a few of his equally sketchy looking friends headed my way, and that creeping sense of dread was back all too soon. 

“Hey, Georgie Girl,” Neil called out. “Isn’t that what Taylor calls you? Hey, does he call you that in bed, too?”

“Oh, man,” one of his friends, whose name I didn’t know, said. “ _She’s_ Tay’s little fuck buddy? Doesn’t really look like his type.”

“If she’s got a pulse, she’s his type,” another friend shot back.

“Actually,” a familiar voice said from behind me, his warm, soft hand coming to rest comfortingly on my shoulder. “This is _my_ girlfriend, Georgina. Whatever you think you know about her, you can kindly keep it inside your tiny, drug-addled brains, and shut the fuck up.”

“Or what?’ Friend One asked. 

“I’m sorry, did you think that was a threat?” Zac asked. “It really wasn’t. But here’s a thought. My brother might be a manwhore, but he’s really not that much of a sleaze about it. You think he would appreciate his friends airing his dirty laundry when I’m sure he knows about plenty of theirs? Again, not a threat—just something you might want to keep in mind.”

It was then that I noticed we had begun to attract something of a crowd, and Taylor’s friends seemed to be noticing the same thing. Neil gave a nervous little laugh, and said, “Alright, whatever. It’s cool. We’re cool.”

“We will be,” I replied weakly, “if you just leave us alone.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, holding his hands up in defeat. “We’re going. See ya later, Georgie Girl.”

I tensed at the nickname, which felt all kinds of wrong coming from him, but Zac gave my shoulder a squeeze and I relaxed some. But although the urge to scream, cry and possibly hide behind the checkout counter was suppressed, it wasn’t entirely gone.

“What the hell was that all about?” I asked, though I knew Zac couldn’t possibly have an answer.

“They’re just assholes,” he replied. “I don’t think they really meant anything by it, and of course they didn’t know we’re together now. I probably kinda made things worse, but I just didn’t like the way they were talking about you. But hey, it’s your turn to order. I’m going to go get some pizza, unless you need me to stay with you…”

I shook my head. “No, I’ll be fine. Probably. But thanks.”

“You’re welcome. See ya soon.” Zac gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and then he was gone. 

My cheeks were still burning by the time I’d bought my lunch and made my way to our usual table, where true to his word, Zac was already sitting with the rest of our group. His cheeks were bright red too, and I quickly realized why when Peyton spoke.

“So when the hell were you two planning on telling us you were dating?” She asked.

“Umm… surprise?” I said sheepishly. After squeezing into a seat next to Zac, I asked, “How did you know, anyway?”

“We wouldn’t have if I hadn’t overheard that little argument with the douchebag triplets,” Molly replied. 

“Don’t remind me,” I said. “I’m trying to forget that ever happened already.”

“Well, anyway,” Molly said. “You two are dating. Really dating. Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

We both nodded.

“Guess this explains why you didn’t come back to the room Friday night,” Elijah remarked.

If I thought it wasn’t possible for Zac’s face to get any redder, I was wrong. Trying to compose myself, I replied, “That was the night of the party from hell, which none of you rescued us from, by the way. But yeah, that’s… that’s when it started. When we started. Dating, I mean.”

Peyton through up her hands. “Hey, I slept through the whole thing. Didn’t even know about it until the next day.”

“And you were already out the door by the time I realized all that commotion was actually inside our suite,” Molly added. “But hey, it all worked out, right?”

“Yeah,” Zac replied, giving me a sheepish smile. “Somehow it did.”

“It’s about time,” Molly said. 

“You said it,” I replied. Looking at Zac, I added, “But you know, I’m just glad it happened at all. I was starting to think it never would, and yeah, it could have and should have happened sooner. Although, I might do a few things differently to get us here sooner, but I don’t have a Tardis, so I’m kinda stuck.”

“I’ll put Tardis on my list to buy you for Christmas,” Zac said, reaching under the table to take my hand in his.

“Are you guys always going to be this disgustingly cute?” Peyton asked, sneering a bit. 

“It’s entirely possible,” Zac replied. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“Not a problem,” she replied. “Just really, really strange. I mean… it’s you two. Zac and George. But now you’re Zac and George, boyfriend and girlfriend. Have you two even been on a date?”

“Does being kidnapped by rabid sorority bitches count?” I asked.

“Not hardly,” Molly shot back.

“Then no, I guess we haven’t.”

Zac squeezed my hand. “Maybe we should fix that.” 

“Maybe,” I replied, feeling myself blushing again. I was starting to wonder if my face would ever return to normal.

Thankfully, the conversation drifted away from us soon after that. Elijah mentioned some prank a few creative chemistry students had pulled, and while it was pretty funny, I found my mind drifting away. I was just glad to have attention focused somewhere else. 

Maybe it was weird that Zac and I were dating after being best friends for so long and even enemies for part of the semester. Okay, it was really weird. I supposed it shouldn’t have been surprising that it was going to take our friends a while to get used to it; after everything we had thrown at them this semester, this might have actually been the strangest. Even I was having trouble believing it was real, but the fact that Zac kept our hands twined together for the rest of the meal was proof enough.

Neither of us had class for a while, so as the rest of our group said their goodbyes and left, we remained. After they were all gone, Zac turned his chair to face mine.

“So… hey,” he said.

“Hey?”

“I was just thinking,” he replied, chewing his bottom lip. “You know, what they were saying about how we haven’t really been on a date yet?”

“Yeah?” I eyed him. “I mean, we haven’t even been dating for a week yet. But I guess we have kinda done things backwards.”

He nodded. “We have. So, I was thinking, maybe we can go out for dinner or something this weekend. Like, Saturday? I don’t know; we can figure out the details later. I just thought it might be a nice idea.”

“It is a nice idea,” I replied. “Maybe that new Mexican place downtown?”

“If that’s what you want,” Zac said. He gave me a crooked smile. “I know this is going to sound really cheesy, but it doesn’t really matter to me where we go. I just want to be there, wherever it is, with you. And I wanna know that we’re okay, and we’re gonna continue to be okay. And… you know, together.”

“Yeah,” I replied, because I understood exactly what he meant, even if it wasn’t all that eloquent. “And I agree.”

Zac leaned in and gave me a quick peck that landed just on the corner of my mouth. It was still enough to make my face feel like it was on fire again, and I decided I was just going to have to get used to that feeling. He gave my knee a squeeze. “I’ve gotta get to class, but I’ll text you afterward, okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Maybe we can, umm, actually study in the library this time?”

Zac looked thoughtful for a moment, then gave me another crooked smile. “I suppose we _could_ … but I can think of better ways to use those study rooms.”

I wanted to be angry with him for teasing me, but I was the one who had mentioned that awkward encounter in the first place. The truth was, no matter how angry I was with him at the time, the sex was hot as hell. And anyway, that was all behind us now. We were together. Nothing in the past mattered, as he had proven when he stood up for me in front of Taylor’s roommate and friends. 

“Anyway,” Zac said, clearing his throat. “Are you done eating?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“I’ll get that for you then,” he said, stacking my tray on top of his. 

With another quick kiss to the side of my mouth, he was gone. Like the pathetic, lovestruck fool that I was, I stared intently as he walked away. That was nothing new for me; the only difference was the way Zac turned and gave me a sheepish smile, like he knew I was looking and knew what I was thinking, too. And like he felt the same way. 

Once he was gone, I looked around the room. It seemed like the whole world should have looked different now that Zac and I were finally together. It didn’t, really, but my perspective on it had changed, even if I was looking at the same old student center full of the same old students.

My eyes landed on the sorority tables, and because it was just my luck, the Tri Delta table was nearest. At least Bella was nowhere to be seen, but a few of her sisters seemed to be looking my way. When one of them leaned in to whisper something to another, I decided I really was just being paranoid. What could be of interest about me? 

Even if they were gossiping about me, I decided that I really didn’t care. People could say some pretty horrible things about me and Taylor, as Neil had proven, but none of it really mattered anymore. It was over. I was moving on, and nothing anyone said or did was going to bring me down.


	35. Sharing Is Caring

Something strange happened the next day. To my great annoyance, Bella hadn’t missed a single one of our Film and Literature classes all semester. But the week after I started dating Zac, she was conspicuously absent. I didn’t want to assume that the two things were related, but it seemed like a pretty odd coincidence.

Her absence made it easier to focus on the class for once, though, and by the time an hour and twenty minutes had passed, I had completely forgotten about the mystery of the missing sorority sister. When class ended, I grabbed my bags and headed toward the library to print out a paper for my class that afternoon. I was still, amazingly, in a good mood, which was unusual for me on the days I had to share a class with she-who-should-not-be-named.

It didn’t take long to sign up for a computer, pull up the document in my email and print out a copy of it. I was just grabbing the page off the printer and scanning my student ID card to pay for it when I felt like I was being watched. That was never a good feeling, and it was even stranger to realize that the culprit was a girl who looked like every other cookie cutter sorority girl on campus.

The longer I looked, though, the more familiar she became. She was one of Bella’s sisters, I realized. That realization made me stuff the paper in my bag even faster and book it toward the door, but I stopped in my tracks halfway there when I heard a voice.

“George? Georgina? That’s your name, right?” 

Against my better judgment, I spun around, and sure enough, it was the bleach blonde. “Yeah? And you are?”

“Kenley,” she replied. “I was, umm, at the party?”

“The party. Right.” I rolled my eyes. “Such a good time, really. So glad to be dragged there against my will.”

“Look, that was what I… well, I wanted to apologize for it, actually,” she replied, glancing around. “I should get some lunch before class; can we walk and talk? I don’t want to cause a scene in here or anything.”

She _didn’t_ want to cause a scene? That seemed outside of the norm for someone who lived the Greek life, but who was I to argue with her? I certainly didn’t want to cause yet another scene this week, so I simply nodded and began walking toward the door again. She could follow me or not; I didn’t really care either way.

Kenley didn’t speak again until we had walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk in front of the library. She cleared her throat and said, “I really am sorry about the whole party thing. I don’t even know why I’m apologizing; it was Letitia’s idea, really. The tall one, you know? She really can’t stand Bella.”

“And what does that have to do with me?” 

“Well, you’re with Zac, aren’t you?” She asked. “I mean, that was what Bella thought. Everyone thought she was paranoid and jealous but—“

I stopped walking and shook my head. “I’m sorry, _she_ was jealous of _me_?”

“Because you got both of them,” Kenley replied plainly. “Zac broke up with her, and she couldn’t seem to get Taylor’s attention no matter what she did. So Letitia thought it would be funny to rub it in or whatever. It was petty, but honestly, we were all so annoyed with her that it seemed like a good idea. I’m not so sure it was, and so… yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Well,” I said, finally managing to move my feet again, though I was still in a shocked and confused daze. “That’s… I mean, I guess I appreciate the apology and the honesty. It doesn’t change anything, except perhaps my opinion of sorority girls, just a little bit.”

“We’re not all Bella,” Kenley replied. “Or Letitia, for that matter. I don’t want to be part of their games, and obviously you don’t either, since you’re not even Greek.”

“Damn right I’m not,” I mumbled.

“But you are… I mean, Bella was right? You’re with Zac now?” 

I nodded, smiling at her in spite of myself. “Yeah, I am. I really am. I don’t know about Taylor, but I can promise that Bella doesn’t even the tiniest chance with Zac now.”

“Did someone say my name?” Taylor himself asked, sliding between us and putting an arm on each of our shoulders. He seemed to have materialized out of thin air, but that was such a Taylor thing to do that I wasn’t even surprised. “It’s not nice to gossip about people, you know, but I do appreciate you doing it within my earshot. It’s so much more fun when I can comment on the accusations.”

“I aim to please,” I replied.

Taylor winked. “You certainly do, darling.”

“Do you have any actual contributions to this conversation or just general sleaziness?” I asked.

“General sleaziness,” Taylor replied with a grin. “I like that. I’ll have to use that. But anyway, I just had to confirm—you are, in fact, dating my darling baby brother?”

“That’s the rumor,” I said.

Taylor gave me a surprisingly genuine smile, which was more than a little unsettling coming from him. “Well. Good for you two. Seriously. Even if it does mean, I suppose, that you and I are—“

“We are.”

“Oh, well.” Taylor heaved a sigh. “I suppose I’ll survive. Heartbroken, of course, but I’ll survive.”

“I’m sure Kenley is really enjoying this conversation and all the gossip fodder it’s no doubt providing,” I remarked, nodding toward her. 

Taylor turned and gave her a long, appraising look that made even me feel like I was naked. Judging by the way she blushed, I think she felt exactly the same. 

“And here I thought I knew all Georgie Girl’s friends,” Taylor said.

“Oh,” Kenley stuttered out. “We uh, we just met, really. I’m one of—well, I’m a Delta.”

“Delta Delta?”

She nodded.

“Ah, home of Georgie’s arch enemy,” Taylor remarked.

Kenley giggled, then seemed to think better of it and tried—unsuccessfully—to stifle it.

“She was actually just telling me how She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has, in fact, wanted you this whole time.”

“Sharing is caring and all, but contrary to popular belief, sleeping with one Hanson brother is _not_ actually a good way to land another,” Taylor replied. He turned back to Kenley and added, “You can tell Bella Dearest that I’m really, really not interested. I’m not one to judge anybody for their promiscuity but I am one to judge people for leading my baby brother on and breaking his heart. If she ever had a chance with me at all, she blew it.”

“Is that…. I mean, do you want me to pass that message along?” Kenley asked, looking scared but a little bit gleeful at the prospect, too.

“Would you be so kind?” Taylor grinned. 

Kenley just nodded, a bit wide eyed, then mumbled something about needing to get to some sort of meeting. She scurried off before either of us could say anything else. I stared in disbelief as she vanished. Was it really that scary to be in Taylor’s presence? Sure, I knew he was popular, but he was always just Taylor to me. Maybe it was weird that a dork like me was friends—with or without benefits—with someone like him, but it was something that just sort of happened. It had been a reality of my life for so long that I never really thought about how strange it must look or how other people must see Taylor as this intimidating figure whose approval we must all seek.

If they all got to know him the way I knew him, I had a feeling they wouldn’t look up to him so much. At the same time, I was slowly realizing that he really was a good friend and even a good person. He wasn’t perfect; he was just a human being like the rest of us.

And he was staring at me, evidently waiting for me to say something.

“What?” I asked. “What do you want now?”

“To know how long you and Zac have been official, for one thing. A stiff drink, for another. But I’ll settle for the first, since it is a little tacky to drink before noon.”

“Since this weekend,” I replied. “You missed most of the story, but apparently we were pawns in some weird sorority chess game intended to embarrass Bella because she really wanted you but couldn’t even hang onto the less popular Hanson brother? Also known as my boyfriend. I don’t really think I’ll get tired of calling him that, by the way.”

“I would tell you to bring the excitement down a few notches, but it’s really kind of cute. Sickeningly so, but cute nonetheless.”

“Sorry,” I replied, but I wasn’t really. Not even a little bit.

“You know,” Taylor said, “I might have wanted to know about this change in our relationship. I mean—well, you know.”

“Relationship?” I replied, raising an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that we had a relationship; I thought we were just bumping uglies. Isn’t that what you called it?”

Taylor chuckled. “I guess I did. I’m just saying, it’s generally frowned upon to get into a relationship with someone else before you’ve officially broken it off with your fuck buddy.”

“Next time I’ll send formal notice on embossed, personal stationary. Dear Taylor, I’m doing your brother now. Sincerely, your former fuck buddy, Georgina.”

“That’ll do.”

“So we’re good?” I asked. Even though I thought I had made it pretty clear that I didn’t want things with Taylor to drag on, I supposed I had made a mess of it all when I started sleeping with Zac too. It was the sort of situation that seemed better suited to someone like Bella than someone like, well, me. But here we were, and here I was nearly apologizing to Taylor Fucking Hanson for not ending our friends with benefits situation before I began dating his brother. 

I was seriously tempted to glance around just to be sure I was still on campus and not in the Twilight Zone.

“We’re good,” Taylor replied. “We’re always good, Georgie Girl. I just like honesty, that’s all. And I like you, but let’s be honest—we’re better off as friends. And you and Zac are disgustingly perfect for each other. It’s honestly a relief that he finally pulled his head out of his ass and noticed.”

“Good,” I replied, heaving a sigh of relief. As much as I hated drama and didn’t want to be involved in any, it seemed to follow me around. Of course, some of it was my fault, I supposed, but I was doing my best to fix things.

“This may be weird to say given everything we’ve done this semester, but Georgie, you’re like my little sister. You can annoy me, do some dumb shit, sometimes really piss me off—I’m getting away from my point. My point is, we’re always going to be okay in the end, no matter what happens. At least, I hope you feel that way, too.”

I looked up at him, tilting my head to the side a bit. It was still strange to see such a genuine side of him. After a moment, I nodded. “Yeah, yeah I do. You’re not so bad, you know. But I won’t go spreading that around or anything.”

“Wouldn’t want to give me a good reputation,” Taylor replied with a smirk.

“What’s going on here?” Zac asked, his shadow covering mine as he appeared behind me. “I’m not so sure I like seeing the two of you together.”

“Jealous?” Taylor asked. “Oh, come on. We’re in broad daylight. Even I have a few standards.”

“Somehow, that’s not very reassuring.” Zac rested his head on my shoulder. “I trust her, though. You, I’m not so sure about.”

“At least I passed the test,” I replied, nudging the side of Zac’s head with my own. “Believe it or not, we were talking about Bella, and how she’s apparently seething over the fact that she couldn’t get or keep either Hanson brother, and I—well. You know.”

“Poor Bella.” Zac snickered, then put his arm around my waist and gave my side a squeeze. “I hate to take pleasure in another person’s misery, but I’ll make an exception for her. And I think the good news calls for a celebratory off campus lunch.”

“Taco Bueno?” I asked.

“But of course,” Zac replied. “Hell, Taylor can come, too.”

“How generous of you,” Taylor remarked. 

With that decided, we headed off toward the parking lot for Zac’s dorm. Given the stupid grin pasted on my face, we probably looked pretty silly, but I didn’t care. I never thought, after everything that had happened this semester, I would be happy to walk around campus sandwiched in between my crush and his annoying older brother, but a lot had changed in the last few months—even just in the last few days.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Taylor said, as he skipped ahead to claim the passenger seat. “We should Instagram a photo of this little lunch date. I know someone who would just love to see a picture of this little threesome!”

Well, maybe not everything had changed.


	36. The Bastard

After a few days to debate what to do for our first date, Zac and I still couldn’t come up with very special or romantic. Honestly, as long as I was with him, I didn’t really care what we did or where we went. It sounded too cheesy for life to admit that, though, so I kept that thought to myself and let Zac decide where we were going.

In the end, we went to a Braum’s not too far off campus and tried not to freeze our asses off as we sat outside and ate. There was just enough of a chill in the air to make sitting outside with our ice cream sodas ridiculous, but it was ridiculous in a 1950s teen movie sort of way and I loved it. 

Afterward, we drove around for a bit before deciding to stop by Hasting’s. It had been too long since I had bought a new book that wasn’t required reading for one of my classes, so I couldn’t resist asking Zac to stop there. 

It might not have been a conventional first date by any means, but it seemed perfect for us. 

We wandered around the store together at first, holding hands and making stupid little small talk about the books that we found. It was a little awkward, and reminded me of those silly high school dates spent walking aimlessly around Wal-Mart. Those dates had never been about anything more than showing off to all the other high school couples doing exactly the same thing, and I always found it tedious. I supposed that was partially because I was never with the boy I wanted to be with, but even now that I was, I wasn’t entirely sure how to act with him.

Eventually, he found a stack of comic books that caught his interest. I might have been a geek, but comic books bored me. I just stared at Zac while he tried to explain what was so special about the particular issue he was looking at, and I felt my eyes begin to glaze over.

“You’re not listening at all are you?” Zac finally paused to ask.

I giggled. “Not really. Sorry. I’ll go find something I like, you look at these and we’ll meet up over at the café, okay?”

“Okay,” Zac replied, giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

My cheek positively tingled as I walked away. It still felt so odd to be with him, and so openly, too. It wasn’t that I disliked it at all, but it was all so new, and after wanting it for so long, it did almost seem wrong to actually have it. Like I didn’t really deserve it or him. I kept waiting to wake up and realize my entire relationship with Zac had been nothing more than a dream.

With those thoughts in mind, I wandered aimlessly around the store, eventually finding my way to the young adult section. I was almost twenty, but these books written for teenagers were still my favorite. It wasn’t the romance; well, maybe it was. But the romance was almost always secondary to the real magic—dragons, wizards, and all sorts of fantasy worlds that sounded so much more interesting than my real life.

On the other hand, my real life had been pretty damn interesting this semester. Only instead of dragons and wizards, it had sorority girls and slutty older brothers.

I scanned the shelves for a few minutes before settling on a book I had been hearing a lot about but hadn’t had a chance to read yet--The Raven Boys. The paperback was pretty cheap, so I decided to grab the sequel as well. I tucked a bookmark advertising Rainbow Rowell’s newest book inside and decided I probably needed to go find my boyfriend.

No, I really would never get tired of calling him that, I decided.

And there he was. With a sheepish grin on his face, Zac shuffled toward me, and I realized he was holding a shopping bag. 

“What’d you buy me?” I asked.

“I bought _me_ a couple of the Walking Dead novels,” he replied, then reached into the bag and pulled out something that didn’t look like a zombie comic book at all. “And then I picked out this for you. I know how much you love all your books, and I just thought, you know, you might be ready to start writing your own.” 

“And what would you suggest that I write about?” I asked, plucking the notebook from his hands. The cover was adorned with portraits of famous authors as though they were punk rockers, and I had to giggle. It was perfect.

“I dunno,” Zac said. “I was thinking maybe a romance? You know, about a guy who finally wakes up and realizes that trying to just be friends for fear the girl doesn’t feel the same way just isn’t going to work. Something like that.”

“You think that would be a good story?”

He grinned. “Well, I think it would have a happy ending.”

“I think so too,” I replied, then leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “And I think it’s latte time now. Let me just go check out.”

“Caramel, right? Go on, I’ll order,” Zac said. 

With another quick kiss, I sent him on to the café and joined the short checkout line. It wasn’t that long, but it still seemed to take forever. I glanced around as I waited, and my eyes landed on what I thought was a familiar figure. I wasn’t sure, since I had only met Molly’s boyfriend Parker the one time, but I thought I would have recognized that combination of ginger beard and cardigan anywhere. He looked my way, and I thought he seemed to recognize me. I opened my mouth to speak, but he turned and walked out the door before I could decide what to say.

That was odd, but I didn’t have much time to think about it. I realized with a start that it was finally my turn to check out. I stepped up to the register, and as I paid for my books, I put that odd little encounter out of my mind. 

A few moments later, I was on my way to the café portion of the shop. I found Zac just stepping away from the counter with two steaming cups in his hands. There was something strange on his face, similar to how I thought I must look after that near encounter with the mysterious TA.

As I took the cup Zac held out to me, I said, “The weirdest thing just happened. I’m not sure, but I think I just saw—well, I can’t say who. And I can’t say why I can’t say who. But this guy Molly has been dating. And he seemed to be in a real hurry to leave.”

“Well,” Zac said, nodding toward a corner table, tucked into an alcove created by shelves of paperbacks. “I think I can probably guess why he didn’t want to stick around.”

Once I saw who was sitting at the table, her face streaked with tears, I had a feeling I knew, too. I scurried to the table with Zac hot on my heels and practically fell into the chair next to Molly. While Zac was pulling another chair over from the table next to us, I asked, “What happened?”

Molly just shook her head and sniffled. 

“Okay,” I said. “We don’t have to talk about it. It’s okay. We can just sit here for now, and we’ll talk about it later when you’re ready.”

“I’m—I’m never going to get ready,” Molly stuttered out. She picked up an already crumpled napkin and dabbed her eyes with it. “He—he was, I thought he was finally ready to go public, you know? I mean, it’s nearly the end of the semester anyway, and this is the closest to campus and the most public place we’ve ever met.”

Zac’s eyebrows knotted together in confusion, and I shot him a look that I hoped told to him to stay quiet for now and I would answer his questions later. I rubbed Molly’s back reassuringly, waiting for her to continue.

“But I think he was really just… just trying to make sure I didn’t cause a scene. Make it look like we were just meeting up for a tutoring session or something, I don’t know. But he knew that I knew I couldn’t yell at him or protest too much if there were people around who might hear something they shouldn’t hear.”

“What… what would you be yelling about?’ I asked softly.

“About him going abroad next semester,” she choked out. “And that was fine, really. I mean, I was dreading it, but I knew he had applied to the program. I just didn’t think he would really get in. And I didn’t think that it would be the end of us. I didn’t think he would just… end it so he could run off to fucking Germany and be free to fuck all the German chicks he wanted.”

“He didn’t say that, did he?” 

“Well, no,” Molly replied. “But why else? Why else would he just end it when we were about to have our chance to really be together? I guess it’s good in way. Better than cheating on me, right?”

“That’s probably how he’s trying to justify it to himself,” Zac cut in. When we both turned to stare at him, he just shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know the guy. At all. But I know guys. And I’m sure he’s telling himself it’s better to end it now before he does something to actually break your heart. It doesn’t make it any less bullshit, though.”

“And it doesn’t break my heart any less,” Molly whispered.

“I know, sweetheart,” I replied, leaning against her. “I know. And that’s why my wonderful boyfriend is going to buy us some of those big chocolate muffins and why I’m going to text his brother and see if he can spare a few bottles from the liquor store he calls his kitchen. And then we’re going to stuff our faces with empty calories, get shitfaced and forget about Parker the bastard.”

“That won’t really fix anything,” Molly replied, sniffling. “But I appreciate the thought. I really do.”

Zac scurried off, digging in his pockets for a few bills. I was lucky, I supposed, that I’d had years to train him, even when I didn’t realize I was doing it at all. I was just lucky in general, I thought, glancing back at Molly who was staring at Zac.

“Can we clone him?” She asked. “Not that I—I mean, Zac’s yours. You know I never felt that way about him. But he’s one of the good ones, and I’m starting to wonder if there are very many others. And if there are, what are my chances of finding one?”

“Well, it’ll be easier to find a good one now that you’ve gotten that asshole out of your life,” I replied. “I’m sorry, I know that’s crass. But you can’t dwell. And I know _that’s_ rich, considering how long I pined after Zac. But Parker clearly wasn’t meant to be, and all of this hurt will fade in time. Maybe it won’t go away completely, but it will fade, and someone new will come along to replace him and make you wonder what you ever saw in him. I promise.”

Molly gave me a weak smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“Didn’t you know?” I asked, grinning. “I’m always right.”

Molly gave me a playful shove and laughed. At least I could still make her smile, I decided. I knew she probably didn’t believe me right then, but I was sure time would show that I was right. I didn’t know if I believed that everything happened for a reason, because some shit was so bad there really wasn’t a good reason for it at all, but I had to believe that what was meant to happen would, eventually, happen. 

If time could eventually bring me and Zac together, then I was sure Molly would eventually find the right guy for her, too.


	37. Alcohol, Taylor Hanson and a Stripper

It didn’t take much convincing to talk everyone into throwing a party at our apartment. It wasn’t the best party location in the world, but the invitation list was pretty short—just the usual Wednesday night crew and Taylor. I made it clear to him that Neil wasn’t invited, and he surprised me by agreeing to that without even so much as a snarky comment. Maybe Taylor was finally starting to notice that his roommate was gross. Maybe Taylor was growing up.

No, that was too much to hope for.

Whatever the reason for his behavior was, it all seemed to be working in my favor for once. That was probably a sign that shit was just getting ready to blow up in my face, but for the moment, I decided to enjoy it and not think about all the things that could soon go wrong. With that thought in mind, I set about cleaning up the apartment and getting it ready for a party. The counter tops were covered with a variety of liquor bottles, all supplied by Taylor, while the man himself was on a run to the corner store for ice, mixers and plastic cups. Molly was taking a shower, Peyton was finishing up a paper at the library but promised to join us later, and with nothing else to do now that the place was clean enough, I plopped down on the couch. 

I hadn’t sat there for long when a loud thump on the door made me jump. Since it was unlocked, the culprit shoved it open and walked on into the apartment. I soon saw that there were actually three culprits—Taylor and Elijah lugging armfuls of plastic bags, and Zac loaded down with pizza boxes. What was a party without alcohol _and_ pizza, after all?

“The party has arrived,” Taylor announced, depositing his bags on the counter.

“And we all know a party can’t start until Taylor Hanson’s there, right?”

Taylor just gave me a smirk and a wink in response to that. Somehow, it didn’t make me feel as dirty as it used to. 

As I watched him and his brother finish setting up for the party, I couldn’t help thinking about the beginning of the semester. We had celebrated moving in with pizza, too, but it seemed like ages ago. So much had changed since then, and yet so much seemed to have stayed the same. My relationships with Zac and Taylor had changed so many times over the last few months, but the one constant fact was that they both meant so much to me. Maybe more than they realized… but then again, maybe not. Maybe they both, finally, understood exactly where they belonged in my life.

“Rum and Coke, right, Georgie?” Zac asked, his voice jarring me out of my thoughts. 

I blinked at him while I repeated what he had said in my mind until it made sense. Of course he knew my favorite drink. Finally, I gave him a smile and said, “Yes, please. And one of those muffins from the coffee shop, if you’re playing waiter. I put the bag in the microwave.”

A few moments later, Zac joined me on the couch—two cups in one hand and a gigantic chocolate muffin on a paper plate in the other. “You looked like you were deep in thought there for a second.”

“I was,” I replied. “Just thinking about everything, you know? Who knew one semester—not even a full semester yet—could change things so much? But at the same time… it all kinda feels right.”

“Knowing you slept with my brother doesn’t exactly feel right,” Zac pointed out. “But I get what you’re saying. Whatever it took to get us here, we’re together. Finally. The rest of it is just details. Memories. Some I’d like to forget, but memories nonetheless.”

I hadn’t noticed the shower stopping, but the bathroom doorknob gave a loud creak when Molly opened it. “Hey, Georgie, do you think I could borrow that Star Wars shirt you got at Goodwill last—”

She stopped in the middle of her sentence, her whole body freezing as she stood in front of us in nothing but a towel. A very, very short towel. To absolutely no one’s surprise, Taylor gave a long, low whistle.

“Well, hello, there,” he said. “ _Now_ it’s really a party. Alcohol, Taylor Hanson, and a stripper. What more do you need?”

“A barf bag,” I interjected. “Honestly, do you flirt with everything female? And do you have to be so creepy about it?”

“I don’t, but it’s so much more fun that way,” he replied, flopping down on the couch next to me, sufficiently sandwiching me between him and his brother. I didn’t think that was a coincidence. “And not all women. Just my dear little brother’s friends.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Zac mumbled.

“I think I need another shower to wash off the feeling of Taylor hitting on me!” Molly called out as she scurried away to her bedroom.

Only seconds after she disappeared, the apartment door opened and Peyton rushed in. She made a beeline for the beers Taylor had so thoughtfully stashed in a bowl full of ice and asked, “Sorry it took me so long to get over here. What did I miss?”

“Just Taylor undressing Molly with his eyes,” I remarked.

“So, the usual,” Peyton replied, taking a seat in the floor next to the chair Elijah had sprawled across.

“Basically,” I replied. “And for once I wasn’t the target of his sleaziness. It’s a refreshing change, really.” 

“Hey, I respect my brother’s relationships,” Taylor said. “I’ll hit on his friends, sure. But there are some lines I won’t cross, believe it or not.”

“I’m going to go with not.”

“Well, if anyone would know, it would be you, Georgie Girl.” As if there was any doubt what he meant by that, Taylor cleared it up with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle.

“Okay, I have to ask,” Elijah said. “Is this weird to anyone else? Like, this whole thing? Zac and Georgina, and Taylor and Georgina? Why are we not talking about how weird this is?”

“Because talking about it causes some of us to have emotionally scarring mental images of Taylor naked?” Peyton suggested.

“Because it _is_ weird and awkward,” I admitted, then took a big sip of my drink. I needed to not be sober for this conversation, I decided. “It wasn’t my finest moment—no offense, Taylor. I hated everyone joking about how I was still a virgin, so I chose a really stupid solution to that problem that only created more problems. I don’t think this semester has been any of our finest moments, really. But the worst of it is over. Maybe getting used to me and Zac being a couple is weird, too, but it’s a good weird.”

“But you… but she…” Elijah turned to Zac. “She slept with your brother.”

“Yeah, she did,” Zac agreed. “And it made me really, really jealous. I don’t want to say I’m glad it happened, but if something hadn’t happened to make me realize how much I needed to stop being stubborn and admit my feelings for her… well, I don’t know where we would all be now.”

Elijah just shook his head. “All I know is that I’m glad I’m an only child.”

We all laughed at that, and were still laughing when Molly finally walked into the room. She wasn’t wearing my new shirt, but she was still sporting bright red cheeks. With her pale coloring, it really stood out, and it only made me laugh harder. I knew I shouldn’t have laughed at her pain, but after everything I had been through that semester, it was nice to see someone else being the embarrassment and the brunt of everyone’s jokes for once.

Still, Molly had had a rough day, and she deserved better than that. I gave up my spot on the couch to her and offered to get her a drink while she settled in.

“Thanks,” she said to me, then turned to the rest of the group. “So what did I miss while I was trying to scrub Taylor’s eyes off my body?”

“Oh, come on,” Taylor said. “Don’t fight it, babe. I don’t think I can take being rejected by Georgie and you all in one semester.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want to hurt your fragile male ego, would you?” Molly replied. 

“Can someone put on a movie to distract from all this talk about how much I’ve suffered at the hands of the women of this college?” Taylor whined, but he was clearly joking. His ego wasn’t fragile at all, from what I could tell. It was fucking Teflon.

“As long as we’re not talking about _my_ pathetic love life, I’m happy,” Molly remarked.

“So, movie time?” Taylor said, giving Molly a little look that I thought seemed almost like sympathy.

Elijah took it upon himself to do as Taylor had asked, making snide little comments about our movie collection before finally settling on Serenity. We had all watched it so many times that we practically all the dialogue memorized, but that didn’t matter. A good movie, a little alcohol and time with my best friends (and my boyfriend)… what more could a girl ask for?

At some point, probably not long after we decided to make a drinking game out of the movie’s use of the word “shiny,” I fell asleep. Or passed out. I came back to reality at the sound of the movie’s menu replaying over and over again, and slowly realized there was no one else in the living room but Elijah, who also seemed to be passed out in his chair. I was still in the floor, in front of where Zac had sat on the couch, but someone had put a pillow behind my head and a blanket from the back of the couch around me.

“Drunken Beauty awakens.”

I looked around for a moment before locating Taylor (the source of the words) in the kitchen, filling a trash bag with what was left of our party. Pulling myself from the floor, I asked, “Did everyone else turn into pumpkins or something? Wait, that’s the wrong fairy tale.”

“Peyton’s in the shower, Molly went to bed, Elijah—as you can see—may be dead, and your lover boy is probably naked in your bed by now.”

“How thoughtful of him to get started without me,” I remarked. I picked up a few stray plastic cups and carried them to the kitchen. “Was Molly okay? I hope we took her mind off all the shit with Parker.”

“She seemed to be in a better mood,” Taylor replied, thoughtfully. “Then again, rum will do that to a person. She’ll bounce back, though. She’s just too much of a sweetheart for her own good; she lets people in easily and lets stuff get to her. Which isn’t _that_ bad of a quality in a person, I suppose.”

“It isn’t a bad quality until you let the wrong person in,” I added. “But we can’t all be heartless bastards. Which brings me to my next question… we’re okay, aren’t we? I know you’ll put on a good face and act like this isn’t weird, but do you really mean it?”

“I do,” Taylor replied, giving me the most genuine smile I’d ever seen him give anyone. “I love you, Georgie Girl. Not like Zac does, but in a way that means I just want to see you happy. And I did my best to contribute to your happiness when I could. Now it’s my dear little brother’s turn. So you probably shouldn’t leave him waiting. He snores when he drinks, by the way.”

“You both snore like freight trains.” I rolled my eyes, but smiled. Deciding to take his advice, I tossed the plastic cups in the trash bag and said, “Goodnight, Taylor.”

“Goodnight, Georgie Girl,” he replied. As I walked away, he added, “And you know you love us anyway!”

And god help me, I did. In very, very different ways, I did love them both. I often couldn’t stand Taylor at all, but he was part of my strange little found family, and it wouldn’t be the same without each and every family member.


	38. Alpha Beta Geeka

The next Tuesday, I was on my way out the door to the class Bella _still_ hadn’t been back to after nearly two weeks, when something caused me to pause. Molly and Peyton were sitting in the living room staring intently into Molly’s cell phone screen, their eyes wide. I stopped in my tracks and stared at them, waiting for some sort of explanation.

“George!” Molly yelped. “Have you seen the OSU Secrets Twitter?”

“God, no,” I replied. “I’m lucky I haven’t ended up on that thing, as scandalous as my semester has been.”

“Well, you might want to take a look at it today.” Peyton took the phone from Molly and held it out to me. “And don’t worry, it’s not you. They blurred the picture, but I think it’s pretty clear which sorority sister this is about.”

That was enough to get my attention. I took the phone and glanced at the tweet. Even blurred, it was graphic enough. I would know that head of perfectly highlighted brown hair anywhere. I didn’t recognize the guy in the porn-tastic photos with her, but the first few comments seemed to suggest he was the boyfriend of the sorority president. I seemed to remember that her name was Letitia, and from what little I had seen of her at that party, I knew I never wanted to get on her bad side. If I thought Bella was a bitch, Letitia was on another level entirely.

“Oh…. Shit,” I breathed out. 

“Doesn’t he remind you of anyone?” Molly asked.

“Huh?” I scrolled back up to the photo. It was hard to tell, given the photoshopping, and I couldn’t say that I really had any clue _who_ the Tri Delt president was dating. 

“Skinny, shaggy blonde hair?” Molly replied. “That doesn’t ring any bells? His name is Nate. I’m sure you’ve seen him around campus. You don’t think he looks like your future brother-in-law and former fuck buddy?”

I tilted my head to the side, then shrugged. “I guess there is a little bit of a resemblance to Taylor, now that you mention it. Can she really be that obsessed? I mean, if this is even real. It’s not like Bella is exactly that well liked even within that cadre of cunts.”

“I wouldn’t put any level of batshittery past that bitch,” Peyton replied.

“Well, I’m off to the class she used to share with me, so maybe I’ll hear some more juicy gossip. I’ll catch you girls up at lunch,” I replied, handing Molly’s phone back to her.

“Looking forward to it!” Molly called after me as I walked toward the door.

Somehow, even with that little diversion, I was still early for class. I made my way across campus to the lecture hall and down the stairs to Dr. Marley’s classroom several minutes early. To my surprise, I saw that same familiar head of wavy brunette hair coming out of her office and heading straight toward me. I veered to the side, and she paused right in front of me, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Georgina, I—” 

I shook my head, hoping to let her know that we had nothing at all to talk about, but Bella had never been one to take hints. “What are you even doing here? I thought you must have dropped this class.”

“I was turning in some late work. But I don’t think I really want to show my face, not today,” Bella replied. 

With a heavy sigh that almost seemed believable and sympathetic, she added, “Look, I know… maybe this is too much to ask, but if my old room is still empty…”

I stared blankly at her, not hardly believing the words coming out of her mouth. “Are you… are you really asking to move back in? After everything?”

“After everything?” She repeated. “Georgina, do you even understand? I’m being kicked out of Tri Delta because of this. I don’t know where else to go.”

“I don’t understand? No, of course not, it’s not like I’ve had my sex life be the butt of jokes and scandals this semester. Oh wait. I have.”

“So you of all people should understand,” Bella replied. “I mean, honestly. I know what I did, but where am I supposed to go now?”

I shook my head. “It’s really not my problem. But if you’re going to act like there’s some similarity between me sleeping with Taylor and you sleeping with some other girl’s boyfriend, then I really don’t have any sympathy for you.”

“Oh, Georgina,” Bella replied, that familiar sickly sweet tone coming back into her voice. “Honestly, don’t try to act so innocent. We all know you’re dating Zac. Like one Hanson brother wasn’t enough for you?”

“I could say the same for you!” I spat out, hardly believing what I was hearing. “Do you think I’m so stupid that I don’t know you set me up for Zac to see me with Taylor? And I think everyone can see that this Nate guy might as well be a Taylor clone, although god knows a clone of him is the last thing the world needs.”

“You know, I have tried to be nice to you, Georgina,” Bella replied. “But honestly, you and Zac deserve each other. What you _never_ deserved was Taylor. But if Zac is so desperate that he’s still willing to be with you after you somehow tricked Taylor into fucking you, then good for him. Good for both of your pathetic little asses.”

“How fucking dare you make me defend Taylor,” I replied. “I’m not even going to touch the things you said about me or Zac, because it’s pretty damn clear that you look at us like the dirt on the bottom of your shoes. And why not? You can’t use two dorks like us to climb the popularity ladder. But guess what? You can’t use Taylor either. Even he has standards, and _he_ deserves better than _you_. And unfortunately for you, he knows it. So you screwed Zac over for nothing, Bella. You’re single, never getting with Taylor, soon to be homeless and none of it is my problem at all.”

I shoved past her then, not waiting to see if she could formulate a response for that. For a moment, I really had almost felt sorry for her. Sure, she had done it to herself, but I couldn’t even imagine how awful she must feel. Then I realized that she had no empathy for other people whatsoever, so why should I care what happened to her?  
But no, I couldn’t bring myself down to her level like that. Especially not when I actually heard her sniffling from behind me. I spun back around, and sure enough, she was crying.

“Okay, so you actually are capable of human emotions,” I said. “But it doesn’t change anything, Bella. You still only care about what hurts you, and you don’t realize that you’re only doing it to yourself. I actually feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you’re apparently so broken inside that you are incapable of treating other people with basic human decency. I’m not even mad at you anymore, because everything that happened this semester has all somehow worked out okay for me. But I’m not sorry enough to give you another chance, because I just don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet. I hope you do someday, but I’m done being a part of your drama. I’m just really, really done.”

With that, I turned away again, sure that Bella wouldn’t have any clue what to say to that at all. I could hear the voices of other students coming, so I knew Bella wouldn’t be sticking around for them to gawk at her. I could only hope, though, that something I had said would get through to her, but I wasn’t holding my breath for it.  
I really couldn’t blame her for not showing her face in class that day. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be seen if, for example, photos of me and Taylor had been shared all over the internet. Luckily, only a select few seemed to know or care about it; I supposed my lack of popularity kept the story from being all that interesting to anyone. Whatever the reason, I was thankful not to be such gossip fodder. 

I really did feel sorry for Bella, but it still didn’t change anything, least of all her nasty disposition. And I doubted anything I said would make a bit of difference to her, even though I spent all of class replaying the conversation in my mind, trying to figure out if I could have done it differently.

After class, I scurried off toward the student center to meet Zac for lunch. Not paying enough attention to wear I was going, I nearly collided with some girl, her bleach blonde hair nearly blinding me in the process. 

“Oh, sorry,” I mumbled, then took a closer look at her. She looked familiar. Then it dawned on me. “Kenley, right? Delta Delta Delta?”

“Not anymore,” she replied. “I mean, I just… washed out. But it’s fine. I was starting to feel like the whole thing wasn’t really for me anyway. Guess I just wanted to be popular, but the climb to the top of the totem pole is brutal.”

“No kidding,” I said, chuckling a little. “I guess you heard about Bella, huh?”

“I think everybody in the state of Oklahoma has heard,” Kenley said. “Needless to say, she’s not a Tri Delt anymore, either. I really don’t know what she was thinking, but honestly, this rivalry between her and Letitia was only going to end in disaster. Something had to give, you know? They couldn’t keep fighting with each other, pushing the stakes higher and higher, without there being some sort of consequences.”

“I can’t imagine Letitia wanted the stakes to be _that_ high,” I replied. “I mean, nothing really justifies sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend. Although I’m not really in much of a position to take the moral high ground here.”

“Compared to Bella, you definitely are.”

I stared at Kenley. Maybe I had misjudged this girl. Okay, so she obviously disliked Bella. That was a big point in her favor. She seemed to like me, for unknown reasons, so that was another point. And she wasn’t _actually_ a sorority girl, so I couldn’t hold that against her.

Biting my lip, I asked, “Do you think you would want to get lunch? I think you would like my friends better than the Delta girls. We’re big dorks, but we’re not backstabbers.”

“If by dorks you mean you won’t judge me for having Gryffindor bedding,” Kenley replied, “then I am definitely in.”

“Oh you are _so_ in,” I said, grabbing her arm. “Come on, it’s time you joined the newest Greek group on campus. Alpha Beta Geeka.”

Kenley laughed as she let me lead her toward the student center. I didn’t even care at all what people thought about the two of us together—if anybody even cared enough to have an opinion on someone like me hanging out with a former sorority girl. Emphasis on _former_. It was pretty clear that I had misjudged at least one of the Delta Delta Deltas, although I would probably never admit that. It was possible for me to be wrong once in a while, I supposed, but why advertise it? In any case, I couldn’t really fault Kenley for envying and wanting to be part of the popular crowd. I understood that feeling; I just knew it wasn’t remotely in the cards for me, and that was absolutely fine by me.

As we neared the student center, another thought occurred to me.

“So, hey,” I said. “Now that you’re not in the in crowd anymore, I’m guessing you’re going to need a place to live. And I’m going to need someone to take up residency there fast so Bella can’t keep begging for her old room back. Win win for all of us—well, except for Bella.”

Kenley smiled. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”

I smiled back. If this wasn’t proof that things had changed for me this semester, I didn’t know what was. Just a few months ago, I had dreaded the thought of living with one of the popular girls—now here I was inviting one into my inner circle. I was either growing up or going crazy.


	39. Teamwork

The conversation with Bella left me in a daze for the rest of the day. A part of me wanted to tell everyone what had happened, but a part of me didn’t see the point. It didn’t change anything about me or her. She would, I was sure, stay the same person. Nothing I said would get through to her.

And me… well, I was finally right where I wanted to be.

Laying in bed with Zac that night, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I would have wanted to be. It was cheesy, I knew, but it was true. I couldn’t resist leaning in and laying a gentle kiss on his cheek, even though he was fast asleep, his brow furrowed as though he were having a really confusing dream. 

He must not have been as deeply asleep as he seemed, though. As I pulled away, his brow softened and a smile slowly began to spread across his lips. His eyes stayed closed, but he pulled me in closer.

“You’re not asleep at all, are you?” I asked.

“Not now,” Zac replied, his eyes finally fluttering open.

“Dork,” I said. Nevertheless, I leaned in and gave him another kiss, this time right on his lips.

“I don’t know about you,” Zac said in between kisses, “but I’m suddenly not feeling very sleepy anymore.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” I giggled, giving him a little nudge with my knee, which was wedged between his legs. 

“Can you?” Zac asked, running a hand down my side, then around the waistband of my pajama pants. “And how about you, hmm?”

My answer came in the form of a moan when his hand slipped under my pajamas and into my panties. It took little more than his crooked smile to get me going, so by the time Zac’s hand reached its destination, my arousal was nearly as obvious as his. He slid one finger into me easily, his lips trailing kisses down my jawline and neck. 

“You’re killing me here,” I mumbled.

Zac chuckled. “That wasn’t exactly my plan.”

“No?” I asked. “What did you have in mind, then?”

“Sometime more like this,” Zac replied, grasping my hip and rolling us over so that I was on top of him. He held me tightly against him and rolled his hips upwards, making his meaning perfectly clear.

“Like this?” I asked, pushing his shirt up as far as I could until he took the hint and pulled it over his head. I ran my hands up and down his chest, amusing myself at how it made him giggle. Apparently, he was still horribly ticklish, even in the midst of a sexual encounter. It amused me to no end, but clearly Zac was having none of it.

He grabbed my hands and moved them to my own shirt. Taking the hint, I pulled it over my head and tossed it behind me. It took a little more maneuvering to get my pajama pants off while still on top of Zac, but I managed. Zac got his own boxers shoved down in what had to be record time, and then his hand was back in my panties, the only thing still standing between us. While I pulled those off, he stretched an arm toward my bedside table and rummaged through the top drawer for a condom. 

“Pretty good teamwork, huh?” I asked as I watched him slip the condom on. 

“We’ve always made a good team, Georgie,” he replied, placing his hands on my hips and guiding me into place. “It just too us too damn long to realize it.”

I wanted to say something profound in response to that, but it was hard to think, let alone think profoundly, when I felt myself sinking down onto Zac. Although sex was no longer this weird, mystical thing to me, sex with Zac was always exciting. It wasn’t a means to an end; it was an experience. It didn’t matter that we were both a little bit clumsy, his hand slipping off my hip a few times while we both struggled to find a good rhythm to setting into together. What mattered was that it was us, together.

The cheesy, loving feelings faded to the background as we got into the swing of things, and lust took over. With a strength that always surprised me, Zac flipped us over so that he was on top, my body pinned between his and the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried a hand in his hair, losing myself in the feeling of him inside of me and the soft moans he made as he drew closer and closer to the edge.

He came with a little whimper, his forehead pressed against mine. My every nerve ending was still lit up like a Christmas tree as Zac pulled away and tossed the condom into my trashcan. I had barely even collapsed back onto the mattress when he dove onto me again, his lips latching onto my neck first before trailing kisses farther and farther south. His ultimate destination was obvious, but I still gasped when he made the first contact with the most sensitive spot on my body, his tongue sliding easily inside.

“Oh, god,” I groaned, fighting to keep my head from falling back against the pillow. It was maybe a little perverse, but I wanted to watch. 

Evidently, Zac didn’t mind at all. His eyes actually twinkled as he stared up at me, not pausing in his movements at all, every tiny flick of his tongue sending waves of pleasure through my body. I thought I would scream, but I didn’t think the neighbors would appreciate that, not to mention my two roommates who lay sleeping at the other end of the apartment. Soon enough, I couldn’t even think, let alone scream. I saw nothing but stars and could manage little more than to whisper Zac’s name. 

Slowly, carefully, he crawled back up my body, leaving gentle kisses in his wake. He pressed the softest, sweetest kiss to my cheek and, his breath hot against my ear, whispered, “I love you, Georgie.”

“Love you, too,” I barely managed to breathe out. “Love you so much.”

He rolled over onto his back and let out a light laugh. “Not bad for two losers like us, huh?”

“Not bad at all,” I replied. “I think You-Know-Who was right; we do deserve each other.”

Because it weighed so heavy on my mind, I had told Zac the very barest bones of the conversation. Still, he didn’t need to know everything. Maybe it was wrong to keep it from him, but I couldn’t see any outcome other than hurt if I told him that Bella had never really wanted him at all. 

“Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day. She was bound to say something that wasn’t totally asinine eventually.” Zac looked like he wanted to say more, but then shook his head and reached for the pile of clothing in the floor next to the bed. Passing my own shirt and bra to me, he began to pull his own over his head. His voice a bit muffled he said, “Now I don’t know about you, but after that, I could use a little midnight snack. I think I’m wide awake now anyway.”

“You and me both,” I replied. “How about… chocolate covered popcorn?”

“Race you to it!” Zac said, tossing my pajama shorts at me so that they landed square on my head.

Moments later, with all of our pajamas in the proper places, we stood in the kitchen, waiting for our popcorn to pop. In the absence of a bar of chocolate, I had decided that chocolate syrup would have to do. It was going to be a terrible mess, but I didn’t really care. It very nearly got my mind off everything that had happened earlier in the day. Almost.

“So,” Zac said, and I nearly jumped a foot into the air, sure that he had read my thoughts about Bella. 

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to invite that sorority chick to move in here? I mean, she seems nice enough, but…”

“She is nice enough,” I replied. “And she’s not a sorority chick; at least, not anymore. She’s about as big of a fan of Bella as you and I are. She’s the one who talked to me about her before. You know, after the party?”

“Oh trust me, I’ll never forget that party. It had a pretty happy ending, at least.”

I felt myself blushing, and I nodded. “Yeah, yeah it did. But I mean, the stuff with Bella. Kenley tried to explain and apologize, and it seemed pretty clear then that she thought all the drama was ridiculous. I didn’t make much of it then, but I think it speaks volumes that she went out of her way to say something when she was still part of the inner circle.”

“I guess so, when you put it that way,” Zac said. Tilting his head to the side a bit, he asked, “So what did she say, anyway? I mean, what did she try to explain?”

“Just that, uh, you know Bella was…. Well, I mean, you know, she--” My rambling attempt to _not_ tell him anything was interrupted when a door creaked open. I spun around to see who it could possibly be, and for the second time that semester, was rendered speechless by what was apparently going on behind closed doors in my own apartment.

“Well, this is awkward,” Taylor said, grinning as though he found it more _amusing_.

“What are you doing here?” Zac asked.

“Unless he’s hiding a vagina in there, and I think I might have noticed that, he damn sure didn’t just come out of Peyton’s room, so that just leaves one option.”

“Tay? I thought you were going to the--” Molly poked her head out of her doorway and paled at the sight of all of us standing there. “Umm… bathroom.”

“I think we’ve been caught,” Taylor replied, still grinning but a bit more sheepishly now.

“This is absolutely unbelievable,” I said, the words trailing off into laughter. After everything that had happened during the semester, I didn’t know which was more ridiculous—me sleeping with Taylor, or Molly doing the same. Wiping away a stray tear, I sighed and said, “Well, I _did_ say that he deserved better than Bella.”

Zac raised an eyebrow at that, but I waved it over, dissolving into another fit of giggles. When the microwave dinged, I jumped in the air, suddenly aware of the smell of burning popcorn.

“What is that god awful smell?” Peyton asked, emerging from her room. She blinked at Taylor. “Oh, it must be you.”

“Funny,” he replied, then pulled Molly to his side. “Actually, Georgie was so shocked about _this_ that she forgot how to operate a microwave.”

“We’re all comedians tonight, aren’t we?” Zac mumbled, holding the distinctly black microwave bag of popcorn at a safe distance before tossing it into the trash can. “So much for that midnight snack. Although, I suppose Taylor and Molly have already had theirs.”

“And you two were just counting sheep in there, were you?” Taylor replied. “Come on, let’s all put on pants—or not, it’s more fun without them—and go get IHOP. My treat. It’s the least I could do after, well, you know.”

“After doing both of my roommates?” Peyton offered.

Taylor smirked. “Hey, I’d do you too, if you asked nicely.” 

“Let’s all just get dressed and leave before this turns into an orgy,” I said, grabbing Zac’s hand and pulling him toward my bedroom. 

“Just say the word, Peyton Place!” Taylor called out.

Her reply lost to the sound of my slamming door. I figured that was just as well; no need to hear anything incriminating in case she finally snapped one day and killed him. I looked and at and shook my head in disbelief. It had definitely been a crazy semester, all right, and it just kept getting crazier.


	40. As the Hanson Turns

After our late night, Zac and I slept in, missing our morning classes and not caring at all. We were past midterms but not yet into the horrors of final exams, so it wasn’t like we were missing anything terribly important. And, if I allowed myself to be that cheesy, spending more time lying in bed with him felt way more important than my sociology class and his statistics class. Especially the statistics class.

Of course, we had to leave my bed eventually. We parted ways so that Zac could go back to his room, shower and change clothes; at least that way we wouldn’t look _too_ obvious walking in together in the same clothes we had worn the day before. I supposed, though, that it didn’t really matter now that we were dating. 

I was relieved, when I walked into the student center alone, to see that Taylor had gone back to his own apartment to change clothes, too. I was pretty sure he had slept in our suite, but I didn’t really want to know if that suspicion was correct. It had been so late when we got back from IHOP, dead on our feet and full of pancakes, that I really didn’t know what anyone else had done aside from myself and Zac.

But Taylor, damn him, looked clean and refreshed, and like the night before hadn’t happened at all. Seriously, damn him.

I grabbed a quick slice of pizza and sat down at the table, noticing that Taylor and Molly’s chairs were just a little closer together than I normally would have expected. Then again, I never would have expected either of one of us to sleep with him. 

“Well, aren’t you two cute?” I said in the most sickly sweet tone of voice I could manage.

Elijah glanced back and forth between the three of us. “Did I miss something here?”

“Only the newest Hanson hookup,” I replied. “I forgot; you weren’t in our suite to witness the blessed union last night. By the way, have you seen Zac?”

“Passed him headed to the showers while I was on my way here,” Elijah replied. “But wait a minute. I think I need to diagram this shit. You slept with Taylor. Then with Zac. And now Molly and Taylor…?” 

“Don’t forget Zac and Bella,” Taylor added, not at all helpfully.

“I wish I could,” Zac said, suddenly appearing next to me and plopping down into the seat I had left empty for him.

“I think we _all_ wish we could,” I shot back. “Anyway, yeah it’s all a big clusterfuck—pun intended—but what’s your point, Lij?” 

“Well, aside from the fact that I’m feeling a little left out of the soap opera your love lives seem to be? I mean, I’m not complaining or anything. I don’t know how you’re all sane at this point.”

“Who said we were?” Taylor smirked.

We all laughed at that, but everyone fell silent when Kenley walked up to the table. Obviously trying to ignore the awkwardness, she slid into the last free chair and smiled. “What’s up, guys?”

“Just catching up on the latest episode of As the Hanson Turns,” Peyton replied, but didn’t elaborate any further than that.

“Everyone is very amused by the game of musical chairs we’ve been playing,” I said. “Or musical beds, I guess you’d say.”

“Oh,” Kenley replied. She glanced at Taylor and Molly, and it was like a light bulb going off over her head. “Oh. _Oh._ Wow, okay.”

“Feeling left out?” Elijah said, but his flirtatious smile didn’t reach all the way to his eyes.

Kenley laughed, but the table fell back into an awkward silence then. I knew I would probably end up putting my foot in my mouth if I spoke, but this was getting really frustrating. I didn’t know why they were all so hesitant to get close to Kenley. I wasn’t asking them to be best friends with her, but given that she was going to be in our suite for the rest of the year, we needed to at least try to get along. 

“Look, guys,” I said. “I know we’re all weird about opening up our group to someone new, but need I point out that Peyton and Elijah weren’t part of our inner circle until last year? I think we’ve got room to be nice to someone else, too. Maybe prove that geeks aren’t as clique-ish as the popular crowd, huh?”

“Speak for yourself,” Taylor replied. “I’m not a geek. Just… geek adjacent.”

I stared him down. “You’re related to one and you’re fucking another, so close enough.”

Taylor winked at me before turning his attention to Kenley. “Well, anyway, I don’t have any problems with you, Ken. Allow me to apologize for the rest of their bad manners.”

Kenley shrugged. “Look, I get it. I was in the same sorority with Bella, and I know more than I’d like to about what she did to you guys. And she’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how bad sorores can be, trust me. So if it’s going to take a while to convince you that I’m not like that, I understand. But for what it’s worth, I’m not. I was just like you guys in high school. College seemed like a good time to reinvent myself. Turns out I can dress the part, but I’ll never really be like them. Being that mean and judgmental is just tiring.”

The table fell silent again. Of course, everyone would still have to take Kenley at her word, but I hoped that in time they would see her as I did. 

Finally, Zac cleared his throat. “Alright, if you promise never to speak of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named again, then I suppose we can let you into the group.”

Kenley smiled. “Look, I’m not taking an Unbreakable Vow or anything, but sure. I want to talk about her sad, bitchy ass just as much as the rest of you do, trust me.”

That seemed to finally break the ice. Peyton gave her a smile and asked, “So, when are you officially moving in anyway?”

“They’re letting me stay in the sorority house until Thanksgiving. So I’ll be back that Sunday to start packing up and moving.”

“We can help,” Taylor said, making it clear with a pointed stare that he was including Zac in that. "These girls love making us big strong men do their dirty work for them.”

Kenley giggled. “That would be great. I’ll probably still be in a turkey coma by Sunday anyway.”

“Ah, Thanksgiving with the family. Does yours try to stuff you full of food every time you visit, like they think the college doesn’t feed you, too?” Taylor asked.

“Something like that,” Kenley replied.

“Where are you from anyway?” Molly asked. “I don’t remember if you’ve said.” 

“Nebraska,” Kenley said. “So I have a pretty long drive home.”

“Too bad. You’ll miss out on the world famous Hanson family Thanksgiving, too,” Elijah said. “I get to hear about it every year, but my Mom would kill me if I didn’t come home for the holiday.”

“Hanson family Thanksgiving?” Kenley asked.

“Believe it or not, there are five more Hanson kids,” I replied. “Not to mention aunts, uncles, cousins—you name it. So every holiday in their family is massive. We only live two streets over, so since my brother moved out and we don’t have any other family around, we started just taking a few dishes over there and joining in with their party, too.”

“You’re coming this year, right?” Taylor asked Molly, his tone oddly tender. 

“I’ll try to stop by while my Mom and Grandma are cooking,” Molly replied, smiling up at him.

I had joked about them dating, rather than just fucking, but maybe they really were. Had Taylor ever had an actual girlfriend? I couldn’t remember. Maybe when we were in high school, I supposed, but he didn’t hang out with us as much back then.

When I really thought about it, I realized that Taylor had sort of done the opposite of Kenley, and maybe that was why he was the first of us to open up to her. He had been part of the popular crowd in high school, and arguably still was really popular. But he did it on his own terms now; he hung out with us geeks and didn’t care what people thought of that. Likewise, he didn’t care what people thought of his manwhore reputation. He had always been like that, in a way, but he really opened up in college and stopped caring about conforming to anyone’s standards.

The thought that we could all learn an important lesson from Taylor Hanson, of all people, made me almost laugh out loud.

“You’re coming, too, right?” Zac asked, nudging me to draw my attention back to our conversation.

“Of course,” I replied. “I wouldn’t miss your mom’s homemade pumpkin pie for anything in the world.”

“What I’m hearing here is that her pumpkin pie is more important than my company.” Zac pretended to look hurt.

I giggled. “Have you eaten that pie? It’s more important than just about anything else in the world. But I guess your company is alright.”

“Well, I see where I rank,” Zac replied, pouting so much that I couldn’t resist giggling even more. 

I leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Hmm, almost as sweet as pumpkin pie…”

“Okay,” Elijah cut in, glancing at Peyton and Kenley. “Anyone else feeling like third wheels here?”

Kenley tilted her head to the side. “Technically, we’d be fifth, sixth and seventh wheels, wouldn’t we?” 

“Whatever it is, it’s starting to get seriously awkward. You guys are going to need to cut down on the PDA or hook me up with someone fast.”

“Don’t look at me,” Peyton said, laughing. “No offense, but Kenley’s more my type than you are.”

“Looks like we just have a seventh wheel, then,” Kenley replied, blowing Peyton an exaggerated kiss and batting her eyelashes.

Elijah’s face lit up at that. “Hey, at least that’s kinda hot. Can I watch?”

“Oh, god,” Peyton groaned. “I think that’s my cue to leave for class. Kenley, you’re on your own now.”

“I’ve been fighting off fraternity jerks all semester,” Kenley replied, giggling. “I think I can handle him.”

“He’s not usually this bad,” Zac said. “He’s really not. The fact that the rest of us dorks are actually having successful—or existent at all—love lives this semester is just getting to him.”

“Well, my love life isn’t anything to write home about either. I mean, you’d think these popular guys with girls falling all over them would be halfway decent, right? It’s like the hotter they are, they less they even try to flirt or anything. They just expect you to hop in bed the second they look at you, and they spend more time admiring their own muscles than anything else.”

“See, geek love is where it’s at,” I remarked. “We’re not going to take anything for granted.”

“I know I’m definitely not,” Zac replied. 

Elijah groaned, and even I had to admit that was a cheesy line. Still, it earned him another peck on the cheek. From there, the conversation turned to general mocking of fraternity and sorority types, and I was sure then that Kenley was going to find her place in our group. The dynamics of our group had definitely changed over the semester, but things were finally starting to feel right.


	41. Like a Brother

“Wake up, lazy ass!” Daniel bellowed through my bedroom door. “Your boyfriend is downstairs!”

I groaned. Of course, Daniel had been calling Zac my boyfriend for years, just to tease the two of us. Only now, it was actually an accurate term for him. That thought was enough to propel me to finally get out of bed, though it didn’t stop me from hurling a few choice curse words back at my brother as I did so.

I hurried to get dressed and make myself presentable; god forbid I leave Zac downstairs long enough for my parents to start interrogating him. It didn’t matter that they had known him since pee-wee soccer league. My dad could still find a way to seriously embarrass both of us now that everyone seemed to know we were officially a couple. 

Since it was something of a special occasion, I even managed to put on a little makeup—just lip gloss and mascara. Didn’t want to scare Zac, after all. Just a few short minutes later, with my teeth and hair brushed and a new, bright green sweater pulled over my head, I was ready to rescue Zac from my parents.

He was already standing at the bottom of the stairs when I rounded the corner, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. It didn’t look like he had bothered to brush his hair that morning, but I really didn’t care. The way he smiled up at me was enough to make me forgive him for a multitude of sins.

“Hey, Georgie,” he said. 

“Georgina? Are you up?” My mom called out.

I scurried down the stairs, giving Zac a quick kiss before following Mom’s voice into the kitchen. “Yeah, Mom. Are you done bugging Zac?”

“No one’s bugging anyone,” she replied, but the amused smile on her face said otherwise. “I was just going to ask if the two of you would mind carrying—carefully—the pecan pies I made over to the Hansons’ for me.”

“Gee, I don’t know, you trust us not to drop them?”

“I trust Zac,” she shot back. “Go on, before I think of something else I need you two to do.”

“Say no more,” I replied. I picked up one of the pies and motioned for Zac to grab the other. If I hadn’t been so worried about actually dropping the pies, I would have grabbed his arm and physically drug him out of the room. As it was, I think he was as ready to leave as I was. 

Once we were finally outside, I heaved a sigh. “Sorry about that.”

“Hey, no problem. I just had to keep reminding myself how much worse they would have been if I were Taylor.”

I snorted. “Yeah, well, I don’t think I would show my face around here again if Taylor was my boyfriend. I mean, Daniel would kick his ass just for that, but if he knew—well, anyway.”

Zac stifled a chuckle of his own and cleared his throat. “Right. Anyway. It is still kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, now that he’s dating Molly. You know they are _actually_ dating, right? Last night I heard him tell Mom his girlfriend was coming over for Thanksgiving. She was so surprised, she almost dropped the plate she was washing.”

“And did he mention who this girlfriend was?” I asked as we rounded the corner and headed toward his street. 

“No,” Zac replied, carefully hooking his arm in mine. “If we’re lucky, we’ll get back before she gets there, and we’ll get to see the big reveal.”

As luck would have it, well, we had none. The Hanson house was in full swing when we arrived, the living room full of younger kids building a book fort and the smell of food wafting out of the kitchen. We finally made our way in there, after I had said hello to all of Zac’s younger siblings, and discovered that Molly was in fact already there and had been drafted to help chop vegetables for various dishes. 

“Hey,” she said, giving me a big, if weary, grin. “Wanna help? Sorry, I didn’t mean to phrase that as a question. You’re going to help, because it’s a million wonders I haven’t chopped a finger off yet.”

I laughed. “And you think I won’t do the same thing? But alright, alright. Let me wash my hands.”

A few moments later, we had switched places, Molly collapsing onto a stool like she had been slaving away for hours. I suspected it wasn’t the kitchen work so much as dealing with all of Zac and Taylor’s family that had worn her out.

“So how’s it going? I think my dad tried to give Zac the third degree like he hadn’t known him since he was missing his two front teeth.”

“Well, we weren’t really going to _tell_ anyone—I mean, we didn’t want to make a big announcement out of it. But then Taylor had to go and kiss me on the cheek when he thought no one was looking, and of course, Zoe was looking. So it turned into this big thing, and now I’m hiding in here.”

“Maybe we’ll both just stay in here all day,” I suggested.

“If that means we get to eat all of the pumpkin pie, then I am all for it,” Molly replied, giggling.

We worked quietly for a few minutes, one chopping and the other sorting the scooped veggies into a variety of bowls. Once we had finished everything Diana had laid out for us, we washed our hands and swiped cookies from the cookie jar, deciding that we had definitely earned them.

“So,” Molly said between bites of her chocolate chip. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, and I guess this is as good a time as any.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“No, it’s just—well, isn’t this kind of awkward? I mean, me and Taylor… dating. It still feels kinda weird to say. But given everything that happened, you and him doing your thing, isn’t this weird? You’re not upset or anything, are you?”

“Why would I be?” I laughed out loud, but immediately regretted it. Molly looked genuinely concerned. “I mean, yeah, it’s really weird. Really, really weird. But once I made the choice to sleep with him the first time, I think I kinda made my bed, you know? Things could only get stranger from there. But what Taylor and I did… it was a means to an end. He’s a great guy, he really is, better than I ever realized before. But I don’t love him like I do Zac. I would say I love him like a brother, but maybe now that isn’t quite right either.”

“What do you mean a means to an end?”

“I mean I was so fucking tired of being a virgin. It’s stupid, but people made such a big deal out of it. But Taylor was easy—I mean, well, that too. But sleeping with him was an easy way to solve that problem. That’s all. That’s all it ever was, just sex.”

Molly nodded. “To be honest, I think I wanted to convince myself that’s all it was, too. But you’re right—he _is_ a great guy, even if it still feels weird to say that. But he was really nice that night; we spent more time talking than anything else, and the sex was just an afterthought. Not that the sex was bad or anything, I mean—”

“You don’t have to tell me the sex wasn’t bad,” I replied, then burst out in laughter. “Okay, okay. I see what you mean. This is super fucking strange. But what I feel for Taylor is obviously very different from what you feel for him, so I don’t see why it has to be awkward or problematic or anything.”

“I’m not saying I’m in love with him or anything,” Molly said. “I don’t know; it’s way, way too early to say anything like that. But I think this could actually be a good thing, so I’m willing to give it a chance.”

“Willing to give what a chance?” Taylor asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. “Dad’s eggnog? Because I would not recommend that; I think he made it double strength this year.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I replied. “Would you even believe me if I said we weren’t talking about you?”

“Not at all,” Taylor shot back. He stepped into the room, grabbed a cookie and gave Molly a wink. His mouth full of chocolate chip, he asked, “So what were you saying about me? Good things, I hope? Comparing notes?”

Molly rolled her eyes. “Not exactly. Just making sure everything was cool between all of us.”

“We’re cool,” Taylor said. “Why wouldn’t we be cool?”

I opened my mouth to answer that, then just as quickly slammed it shut when Diana bustled back into the room. Her eyes narrowed at Taylor, and he shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth around a sheepish smile.

“At least these two have earned their keep,” Diana said, nodding toward Molly and me. “And I suppose they’ve earned a break, too. There’s a game of Risk starting in the living room if you two want to take a break.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Hanson,” Molly replied. 

“I think you can call me Diana now,” she said.

Molly blushed a bit. “It feels kind of weird now, to be honest.”

“Oh, honestly,” Diana replied, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m just sad that Taylor finally kept a girl long enough to bring her home, and I don’t even get to show off the baby pictures. I don’t need to show you; you were around back then.”

“Well, not exactly, but I do remember the braces and lisp.” Molly giggled.

Taylor threw up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright. I get the hint. I’m out of here.”

“Oh, no you’re not,” Diana said, grabbing the back of his shirt before he could make it out of the room. “The girls are free to go, but you sir, are on dish duty.”

“See you girls later,” Taylor said, shooting us a wink. He gave his mom a quick glance, then added, “If I survive.”

“Poor baby,” I forced out between giggles. I grabbed Molly by the arm and scurried out of the room before Diana could think of any other use for us.

We walked into the living room to find, just as Diana had said, what appeared to be a very intense game of Risk in one corner. In the other corner, the younger kids were crowded around the television, which was tuned to the traditional Macy’s parade. Molly squeezed in beside Zoe and some younger cousin I didn’t know, and I plopped down next to Zac and surveyed the game.

“You’ll never hold Russia, you know,” I remarked to Mac, but he just shrugged. 

“That’s what I told him,” Zac said. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, then resumed his turn, unsurprisingly making a big dent in Mac’s Russian front.

“Ugh,” he groaned, then eyed the two of us. “Wait, are you two, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Duh, they have been for years,” Avery replied. “My turn now.”

“We have been?” Zac asked, tilting his head to the side. “’Cause I thought we just started dating this semester.”

“Sure you have been,” Avery said, shrugging. “You just didn’t know it yet.”

“She may be onto something there,” I replied. 

Zac chuckled, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers. “Maybe you’re both right then. I ought to know by now that all the women in my life are smarter than I am.”

“See, it’s that kind of talk that makes me love you.” I giggled.

Mac groaned again. “Can we just play the game and stop being all lovey dovey?”

“If you’re in that much of a hurry to lose, sure,” Zac replied, grinning.

I settled in next to Zac as he and his siblings resumed their game and the required shit talking that went along with it. I had always felt at home with his family, like they were just an extension of my own. It was funny how none of them seemed surprised at all that Zac and I were finally dating. A part of me wondered how much sooner it might have happened if we hadn’t both been so stubborn and self-conscious, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good to think about that. We were right where we were supposed to be now and nothing else mattered.


	42. Epilogue -- Better Than Normal

We all came back to campus late Monday night. Kenley knew most of her former sorority sisters wouldn’t be back yet, so it seemed like a good opportunity for us to help her pack everything up and bring it over to the suite. None of us wanted to risk running into any Tri Deltas, so we didn’t waste any time. Taylor brought his truck and we loaded everything—including ourselves—into the cab and bed of it. It might have only been a few blocks drive back to Zink Hall, but the brisk November air felt pretty nice, and no one could argue that it wasn’t the most efficient way of packing up and moving a dorm room.

By the time we finished helping her put everything in its new place, it was pretty late. Luckily, Dominos delivered all night, so we ordered a few and sent Taylor out for beer. When he and Zac came back in, loaded down with pizza boxes and six packs, I had an uncanny moment of déjà vu.

Hadn’t this been exactly how this semester from hell had started? Pizza, beer and a sorority girl invading my space. This was different, though, and not just because it was our choice to let Kenley move in. 

For one, neither Zac nor Taylor had ogled her the way they did Bella. Kenley was pretty enough, though; it wasn’t as though they hadn’t noticed her looks, I was sure. But it was strange to see Taylor being faithful to someone.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Zac asked, plopping down next to me with a plate in each hand. He handed me the one with cheese pizza only and took a big bite of his own meat lovers.

“Nothing,” I replied. “Well, everything. Just funny how things work out. Funny how we’ve come so far this semester, even though this feels like kind of coming full circle.”

He nodded. “Yeah, but this is nice. Back to normal, but better than normal.”

“Who would have thought I would actually enjoy hanging out with the nerds?” Taylor interjected. “But geek girls beat the hell out of jocks and frat guys.”

I rolled my eyes. Maybe Taylor hadn’t changed that much after all.

“Really nice, Tay,” Molly said. “Way to make a girl feel wanted.”

“Let’s go to your room, then, and we’ll see about making you feel wanted.”

“Okay!” I said loudly. “We get it. Taylor’s horny, and hanging out with a group that’s mostly female, even if we are nerds, suits him just fine. You can get a girlfriend, but it’s not going to change who you really are, I guess.”

“Hey, I’m good guy,” Taylor said, holding his hands up in defeat. “I’m a lover, not a fighter. You know that, Georgie. And, you know, this is my last year of college. It’s time to grow up. But only just a little, because where’s the fun in that?”

“Where indeed?” I teased, shaking my head. 

Taylor just smiled. “But you know—and no, I can’t believe I’m saying this—we really should add another guy to the group. Just to even things out, you know.”

“I think the, uh, odds are fine just the way they are, actually,” Peyton replied, shooting Kenley a look that I wondered if anyone else noticed.

“You would,” Taylor shot back.

“But seriously,” Zac said. “Think about this semester. There were times when we couldn’t even stand to all be in the same room together—well, mostly me and Georgie. Nights like this stopped happening. And I guess it’s probably way past time I apologized for my role in that.”

“Me too,” I added softly and soberly. “We were serious assholes, to each other and sometimes to the rest of you, too.”

“Hey, we’re all just glad you both finally pulled your heads out of your asses and admitted you were in love,” Elijah replied.

Everyone laughed, but that really was perhaps the most accurate way to describe what happened. We had both been so caught up in our own minds, so consumed with our mistaken perceptions of the situation that even though we were supposedly best friends, we never really talked to each other, at least not about the stuff that really mattered.

But that was all over with now. Maybe, like Taylor said, we were all growing up a little bit. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, if it meant I could still sit around eating pizza at midnight with my best friends and my boyfriend, without a single worry or secret plaguing my mind.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Love, Chaos And Other Phenomena](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8690977) by [Jiangyin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiangyin/pseuds/Jiangyin)




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